That’s it, I’m almost done. One more present to wrap, one more lesson to give, just one lemon to buy then I am all ready for Christmas.
My ‘Xmas 2010’ play list is currently playing on this laptop; dragging and dropping is so much easier than the hours and hours I used to spend creating compilation cassettes. It’s very tempting for me to liberally sprinkle tomorrow’s soundtrack with lots of British Sea Power, The White Stripes, The Flaming Lips, Otis Redding and Saint Etienne (I could possibly get away with Saint Etienne), but I have tried to include something for everyone - Cee-Lo Green, Hot Chip, Beyonce, Kings of Leon, The Waterboys, Rod Stewart, Wilson Pickett et al with lashings of festive tracks from the likes of The Jackson 5, Wizzard, Phil Spector, John Lennon and Amy Winehouse.
I suspect some people are beginning to get a bit complacent with the weather and starting to take risks with their driving. There certainly seems to have been more accidents the last few days. If you have to make a journey, just set off early and accept that it will take you longer. There are plenty of people who are driving too cautiously, causing traffic to build up behind them. But that’s fine, better too slow than too fast; just relax and drive with patience - getting closer and closer to the car ahead will not make you reach your destination any earlier.
If you are a ‘glass half-empty’ person, it is not always the best time of year - transport problems (or ‘chaos’ as the media prefers to call it), cold weather (or ‘the Big Freeze’), continuing dishonesty from politicians, too many people homeless and having to sleep out in these temperatures, people going missing or being killed by someone’s pet….. The list goes on. But fill up your glass… The days are already getting longer, the nights shorter; the weather WILL improve; business will pick up, someone else will replace Matt Cardle at No.1 and, tomorrow, ITS CHRIIIIISSTMMAAAAAASS!
I would like to echo what The Jackson 5 are singing right now, Love and peace to everyone. Have a good one.
Friday, 24 December 2010
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
Unstoppable
Sarah Cracknell (of Saint Etienne) once sang ‘She said her life was like a motorway, dull, grey and long, until you came along’. At times it can feel that the run-up to Christmas is like a motorway, seemingly never-ending, sometimes stressful then, suddenly, you are off it and all is peaceful again.
Ever thoughtful, the great powers of BBC and ITV don’t want our Advent to be dull, grey and long, so, if you had checked your rear-view mirror a month ago, you cannot have failed to notice four monstrous juggernauts charging up behind you: I’m a celebrity, get me out of here (in its Leaf Green paintwork); The Apprentice (in Charcoal Grey livery with blue pinstripes); Strictly come dancing (in Canary Yellow with Rhinestone go-faster stripes); and The X Factor (in, as seen on the show, Antichrist Black with a big Red cross, the colour of teenage blood).
These four juggernauts have been roaring along for weeks, picking up momentum and obliterating everything else in their paths (except for the Coronation Street tram). You may have been momentarily distracted by catastrophic weather, student riots, royal engagements, FIFA farces and the steady dribble of WikiLeaks, but still these juggernauts retained the attention of the nation. In yesterday’ Sunday Times, for example, a quarter-page photo of Pamela Stephenson dominated page 4, for no real reason other than to say she was in Saturday night’s final (the results had obviously been too late to print). In the same newspaper, the wine columnist referred to The X Factor THREE times (there was a bit about wine towards the end).
It is car-crash tv. I liked to think I was above watching other people’s misfortune and humiliation, but, when it is there in front of you, it is hard to avert your eyes. In recent weeks BBC1 has had the excellent The Accused on Monday nights, but I am deeply ashamed to admit that I missed a couple when I’m a celebrity… was on.
Where the once unstoppable Big Brother slowly turned to rust and is now mercifully in the juggernaut scrap yard, I A C G M O O H has escaped reality fatigue mainly through the childishly watchable hosting of Ant and Dec, clever editing and some luck (who could have predicted that Shaun Ryder and Stacey Solomon would be such a winning combination?). The plight of Gillian McKeith was the epitome of ‘car-crash TV’ and although watching ‘celebrities’ reach as the struggle to swallow some squelchy morsel of antipodean fauna is getting a little old hat, genius ideas such as making some of them spies have kept it (relatively) fresh.
It is only during the last two series that I have been converted to The Apprentice, I think earlier glimpses of the rampant egos kept me away. However, this is part of the appeal. It is much more satisfying to watch someone with an inflated opinion of themselves crash and burn, rather than someone you liked. Even Stuart “I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m not a ten-trick pony, I’ve got a whole field of ponies” Baggs, who I had no time for initially, proved very entertaining - and you can’t really dislike someone who, on national television, described himself as ‘a bit of a cock’. After his departure I didn’t really care who won, but the way that both Stella and Chris came up with a new product, a good brand name and image under such pressure was very impressive.
I must be getting old. The idea of me enjoying a programme about ballroom dancing would have horrified my younger self. But, as people who voted for Ann Widdecombe and John Sergeant know, it is not about who is the best dancer. It is a combination of the celebrities, the dancers, the band, the staging, the slick hosting, the costumes, the lunacy of Claudia Winkleman and the pantomime judges. Chris and Ola proved last year that it is just as much a personality contest as a dance competition, which is why I think the slightly simpering Pamela Stephenson didn’t reach the final two.
But the biggest, most unstoppable juggernaut - overtaking Strictly’s ratings in the last couple of years - is The X Factor. I’ve moaned about it before…. But I still watch it. But I hope this will be the last year I get suckered into watching it. The auditions can be fun (again, ‘car-crash tv’), but once they get to the final 12 (or the final 16, or whatever number they decide) it quickly becomes boring. Yes, you can watch with incredulity that people actually pay money to vote for some of these acts (nearly fifteen and a half million votes were cast), and, like Jedward last year, there was some horrific fascination in watching Wagner’s progress. But there is only so much out-of-tune, out-of-time singing and ‘dancing’ I can stomach. There is nothing really offensive about Matt and Rebecca’s voices, but there is nothing stunning either - certainly no ‘x factor’, I thought Cher Lloyd was the only one who had anything remotely different about her. Another aspect which (I hope) will deter me from watching it again is the complete lack of content - Their performances take up such a small portion of the show’s running time. I’m not sad enough to have measured it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the adverts took up more time than the performances. And when you add up the constant re-showing of stuff you have already seen and the pointless dramatic pauses when the judges pretend to struggle with a decision, not to mention the endless repetition of clichés from the judges after they have waited for the audience to quieten down, it all adds up to very little indeed.
Unfortunately, whether I like it or not, there is very little I can do about it. While Simon, Cheryl, Louis and Danniiii escape from the X Factor juggernaut in a black helicopter as it crashes in a fireball finale, Matt Cardle, in his white van, races to No.1 in the Christmas charts despite valiant attempts from The Trashmen’s Surfin’ Bird and John Cage’s 4’33” to run him off the road. I enjoyed Radio 1’s dilemma when Reggie Yates was doing the run-down of the chart on Sunday night. When it came to John Cage’s new entry at No.21 would they play 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence? He announced that they would play 30 seconds of it, but they bottled it and only had about 10 seconds of absolute silence. What bemuses me, however, is who on earth pays to download four and a half minutes of silence? While I applaud the sentiment, I do not think it was the best conceived plan to de-rail the X Factor juggernaut. Surfin’ Bird was an inspired (a Family Guy inspired) choice for the anti-Matt Cardle song, but we need to think of something even more inspired for next year. Otherwise we risk X Factor getting even bigger and more pervasive.
Or, as the BBC suggested (in the 1970s, 80s and 90s),Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set and Go Out and Do Something Less Boring Instead?
Ever thoughtful, the great powers of BBC and ITV don’t want our Advent to be dull, grey and long, so, if you had checked your rear-view mirror a month ago, you cannot have failed to notice four monstrous juggernauts charging up behind you: I’m a celebrity, get me out of here (in its Leaf Green paintwork); The Apprentice (in Charcoal Grey livery with blue pinstripes); Strictly come dancing (in Canary Yellow with Rhinestone go-faster stripes); and The X Factor (in, as seen on the show, Antichrist Black with a big Red cross, the colour of teenage blood).
These four juggernauts have been roaring along for weeks, picking up momentum and obliterating everything else in their paths (except for the Coronation Street tram). You may have been momentarily distracted by catastrophic weather, student riots, royal engagements, FIFA farces and the steady dribble of WikiLeaks, but still these juggernauts retained the attention of the nation. In yesterday’ Sunday Times, for example, a quarter-page photo of Pamela Stephenson dominated page 4, for no real reason other than to say she was in Saturday night’s final (the results had obviously been too late to print). In the same newspaper, the wine columnist referred to The X Factor THREE times (there was a bit about wine towards the end).
It is car-crash tv. I liked to think I was above watching other people’s misfortune and humiliation, but, when it is there in front of you, it is hard to avert your eyes. In recent weeks BBC1 has had the excellent The Accused on Monday nights, but I am deeply ashamed to admit that I missed a couple when I’m a celebrity… was on.
Where the once unstoppable Big Brother slowly turned to rust and is now mercifully in the juggernaut scrap yard, I A C G M O O H has escaped reality fatigue mainly through the childishly watchable hosting of Ant and Dec, clever editing and some luck (who could have predicted that Shaun Ryder and Stacey Solomon would be such a winning combination?). The plight of Gillian McKeith was the epitome of ‘car-crash TV’ and although watching ‘celebrities’ reach as the struggle to swallow some squelchy morsel of antipodean fauna is getting a little old hat, genius ideas such as making some of them spies have kept it (relatively) fresh.
It is only during the last two series that I have been converted to The Apprentice, I think earlier glimpses of the rampant egos kept me away. However, this is part of the appeal. It is much more satisfying to watch someone with an inflated opinion of themselves crash and burn, rather than someone you liked. Even Stuart “I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m not a ten-trick pony, I’ve got a whole field of ponies” Baggs, who I had no time for initially, proved very entertaining - and you can’t really dislike someone who, on national television, described himself as ‘a bit of a cock’. After his departure I didn’t really care who won, but the way that both Stella and Chris came up with a new product, a good brand name and image under such pressure was very impressive.
I must be getting old. The idea of me enjoying a programme about ballroom dancing would have horrified my younger self. But, as people who voted for Ann Widdecombe and John Sergeant know, it is not about who is the best dancer. It is a combination of the celebrities, the dancers, the band, the staging, the slick hosting, the costumes, the lunacy of Claudia Winkleman and the pantomime judges. Chris and Ola proved last year that it is just as much a personality contest as a dance competition, which is why I think the slightly simpering Pamela Stephenson didn’t reach the final two.
But the biggest, most unstoppable juggernaut - overtaking Strictly’s ratings in the last couple of years - is The X Factor. I’ve moaned about it before…. But I still watch it. But I hope this will be the last year I get suckered into watching it. The auditions can be fun (again, ‘car-crash tv’), but once they get to the final 12 (or the final 16, or whatever number they decide) it quickly becomes boring. Yes, you can watch with incredulity that people actually pay money to vote for some of these acts (nearly fifteen and a half million votes were cast), and, like Jedward last year, there was some horrific fascination in watching Wagner’s progress. But there is only so much out-of-tune, out-of-time singing and ‘dancing’ I can stomach. There is nothing really offensive about Matt and Rebecca’s voices, but there is nothing stunning either - certainly no ‘x factor’, I thought Cher Lloyd was the only one who had anything remotely different about her. Another aspect which (I hope) will deter me from watching it again is the complete lack of content - Their performances take up such a small portion of the show’s running time. I’m not sad enough to have measured it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the adverts took up more time than the performances. And when you add up the constant re-showing of stuff you have already seen and the pointless dramatic pauses when the judges pretend to struggle with a decision, not to mention the endless repetition of clichés from the judges after they have waited for the audience to quieten down, it all adds up to very little indeed.
Unfortunately, whether I like it or not, there is very little I can do about it. While Simon, Cheryl, Louis and Danniiii escape from the X Factor juggernaut in a black helicopter as it crashes in a fireball finale, Matt Cardle, in his white van, races to No.1 in the Christmas charts despite valiant attempts from The Trashmen’s Surfin’ Bird and John Cage’s 4’33” to run him off the road. I enjoyed Radio 1’s dilemma when Reggie Yates was doing the run-down of the chart on Sunday night. When it came to John Cage’s new entry at No.21 would they play 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence? He announced that they would play 30 seconds of it, but they bottled it and only had about 10 seconds of absolute silence. What bemuses me, however, is who on earth pays to download four and a half minutes of silence? While I applaud the sentiment, I do not think it was the best conceived plan to de-rail the X Factor juggernaut. Surfin’ Bird was an inspired (a Family Guy inspired) choice for the anti-Matt Cardle song, but we need to think of something even more inspired for next year. Otherwise we risk X Factor getting even bigger and more pervasive.
Or, as the BBC suggested (in the 1970s, 80s and 90s),Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set and Go Out and Do Something Less Boring Instead?
Friday, 17 December 2010
Wishing I was a Hedgehog
Been a bit slack in the blog writing department this week. It's not that I haven't had time, I just haven't been that stirred up to write. It's been quite an eventful week too, but, overall, a little disappointing.
All week the weather forecasters seem to have taken delight in warning us of the arctic conditions heading our way towards the end of the week. Why can't they look ahead and try to FORECAST when it might end? With five tests this week I was keeping fingers crossed that the snow and ice would stay away long enough for all the tests to go ahead.
With a good rate of test passes recently, it was statistically probable that I would eventually have a bad week; two passed, three failed. Congratulations to Andrew and Caroline; both passing first-time and both with only four minor faults.
The three that didn't pass were all perplexing. One failed for pulling up on a dropped curb, and the other two failed for exceeding the speed limit on the same stretch of road. All three were completely out of character and just silly mistakes to make. Maybe it was nerves, but it just suggests a lack of concentration.
When a pupil fails a driving test we identify the fault(s), analyse the possible consequences and try to find a remedy. Any trainee instructors will hopefully recognise this sequence as the three core competencies - essential to passing Part 3 of the ADI exam and essential in improving a pupil's performance. Identifying the fault is only the start, the pupil must understand why it is a fault and understand the consequences. Then a remedy must be found to avoid recurrence and build confidence.
In these three cases, however, fault identification was easy enough, the examiner did that, and analysis was straightforward, but I was scratching my head when it came to finding the remedy, other than (unnecessarily) saying "Don't do it again!" The first pupil has never had a problem with pulling up by the curb, and speed has never been an issue with the other two. All three of them are kicking themselves now, while I am left scratching my head.
It was only a matter of hours after the last test that the snow arrived. Not too much to start with. In fact, I was actually glad of the snow initially, as it coincided perfectly with Kim's Pass Plus session in Inverness (one of the Pass Plus modules is 'Bad weather driving'). However, by the end of my last lesson in Ullapool on Thursday evening, the snow was beginning to accumulate and drift, and the temperatures were falling fast. I had intended to stay overnight in Ullapool as I had lessons planned for Friday morning there, so, as usual, I wandered along to the weekly quiz at The Argyll. By the end of the evening there was talk in the pub of the A835, the Ullapool - Inverness road, being closed at the snow gates. I had a decision to make: Should I try to drive the 80 miles home before they shut the road, or should I hope that I would be able to get home Friday lunchtime. With heavy snow forecast overnight I decided to try to get home before the roads were closed. It wasn't as deep as I feared, but, at 20 - 40mph, it was a long drive home, especially as the snow had brought many deer closer to the road. Almost three hours later, I arrived home, safe, but wide awake after so much concentration.
Luckily, the 2nd day of the 3rd Ashes Test was about to start so I switched TMS on. After an hour England were 78-0 and surely on the verge of wrapping up the whole series. One Australian bookmaker had already begun paying out to people who had bet on England retaining the Ashes. Another forty-five minutes later and England had scored only 20 more runs for the sickening loss of FIVE wickets. The trauma was relieved by the players taking lunch and I fell asleep. I awoke nearly two hours later and was relieved to hear that no further wickets had been lost, with Bell beginning to build his innings. My awakening was badly timed, however, as, almost immediately, Prior was bowled out (unluckily). I then listened in horror as, within just over an hour, England completely collapsed - I bet the Australian bookie must have been kicking himself. I am a curse - I will not listen to any more live Ashes coverage... they do fine when I am sleeping.
It is now Friday lunchtime. I am hideously sleep-deprived, the weather is worsening (causing the weather forecasters to become almost perversely excited), diesel is £1.35 a litre in some places, I have just two lessons left today (after cancellations), England somehow contrived to end the day 200 runs behind Australia and it seems that the three pupils I mentioned earlier may have to wait until March for another crack at the driving test. All of which means I am far from feeling festive. To cap it all, the quiz team I am part of were finally defeated after 12 or 13 consecutive victories. Some weeks I just wish I could hibernate.
All week the weather forecasters seem to have taken delight in warning us of the arctic conditions heading our way towards the end of the week. Why can't they look ahead and try to FORECAST when it might end? With five tests this week I was keeping fingers crossed that the snow and ice would stay away long enough for all the tests to go ahead.
With a good rate of test passes recently, it was statistically probable that I would eventually have a bad week; two passed, three failed. Congratulations to Andrew and Caroline; both passing first-time and both with only four minor faults.
The three that didn't pass were all perplexing. One failed for pulling up on a dropped curb, and the other two failed for exceeding the speed limit on the same stretch of road. All three were completely out of character and just silly mistakes to make. Maybe it was nerves, but it just suggests a lack of concentration.
When a pupil fails a driving test we identify the fault(s), analyse the possible consequences and try to find a remedy. Any trainee instructors will hopefully recognise this sequence as the three core competencies - essential to passing Part 3 of the ADI exam and essential in improving a pupil's performance. Identifying the fault is only the start, the pupil must understand why it is a fault and understand the consequences. Then a remedy must be found to avoid recurrence and build confidence.
In these three cases, however, fault identification was easy enough, the examiner did that, and analysis was straightforward, but I was scratching my head when it came to finding the remedy, other than (unnecessarily) saying "Don't do it again!" The first pupil has never had a problem with pulling up by the curb, and speed has never been an issue with the other two. All three of them are kicking themselves now, while I am left scratching my head.
It was only a matter of hours after the last test that the snow arrived. Not too much to start with. In fact, I was actually glad of the snow initially, as it coincided perfectly with Kim's Pass Plus session in Inverness (one of the Pass Plus modules is 'Bad weather driving'). However, by the end of my last lesson in Ullapool on Thursday evening, the snow was beginning to accumulate and drift, and the temperatures were falling fast. I had intended to stay overnight in Ullapool as I had lessons planned for Friday morning there, so, as usual, I wandered along to the weekly quiz at The Argyll. By the end of the evening there was talk in the pub of the A835, the Ullapool - Inverness road, being closed at the snow gates. I had a decision to make: Should I try to drive the 80 miles home before they shut the road, or should I hope that I would be able to get home Friday lunchtime. With heavy snow forecast overnight I decided to try to get home before the roads were closed. It wasn't as deep as I feared, but, at 20 - 40mph, it was a long drive home, especially as the snow had brought many deer closer to the road. Almost three hours later, I arrived home, safe, but wide awake after so much concentration.
Luckily, the 2nd day of the 3rd Ashes Test was about to start so I switched TMS on. After an hour England were 78-0 and surely on the verge of wrapping up the whole series. One Australian bookmaker had already begun paying out to people who had bet on England retaining the Ashes. Another forty-five minutes later and England had scored only 20 more runs for the sickening loss of FIVE wickets. The trauma was relieved by the players taking lunch and I fell asleep. I awoke nearly two hours later and was relieved to hear that no further wickets had been lost, with Bell beginning to build his innings. My awakening was badly timed, however, as, almost immediately, Prior was bowled out (unluckily). I then listened in horror as, within just over an hour, England completely collapsed - I bet the Australian bookie must have been kicking himself. I am a curse - I will not listen to any more live Ashes coverage... they do fine when I am sleeping.
It is now Friday lunchtime. I am hideously sleep-deprived, the weather is worsening (causing the weather forecasters to become almost perversely excited), diesel is £1.35 a litre in some places, I have just two lessons left today (after cancellations), England somehow contrived to end the day 200 runs behind Australia and it seems that the three pupils I mentioned earlier may have to wait until March for another crack at the driving test. All of which means I am far from feeling festive. To cap it all, the quiz team I am part of were finally defeated after 12 or 13 consecutive victories. Some weeks I just wish I could hibernate.
Wednesday, 8 December 2010
Grey clouds on the horizon... Yippee!
It's hard to imagine, that yesterday, when the temperature didn't get above -4C all day and actually dipped to -15C at 11.30am, that things could be worse. But conditions were actually much worse in the Central Belt where a combination of slush re-freezing, then more heavy snow and temperatures too low for grit to have an effect caused complete havoc on the motorways and roads around Edingburgh, Glasgow and Sterling. There were tales of people being stuck in their cars for over 20 hours. Not pleasant.
It was almost a relief when, on setting out for my first lesson this morning, the thermometer displayed only -4C
I had my first test cancellation of the winter today. My pupil was supposed to be taking her test in Elgin but the roads there are as bad as anywhere in the areas I cover. I had a chat with the examiners and they said that they did not expect any tests to be taking place in the near future.
However.....
I had a look at the Met Office website just now and tomorrow there are positive temperatures forecast for tomorrow, only 1 - 3 C in Inverness and Elgin, but a whopping 7C in Ullapool. Not only that, but on Friday and Saturday, the temperature could soar to a scorching 9 or 10C! Of course, every silver lining has a cloud, and heavy rain is the price we will have to pay for the comparative warmth.
I used to put as much trust in weather forecasts as I do in horoscopes, but they do seem to be more accurate these days and even if the temperatures forecast are a few degrees out, it should still be enough for a bit of a thaw. Not much of a consolation for my pupil, she has been so looking forward to (hopefully) passing her test, but who knows when it will be re-scheduled for.
It was almost a relief when, on setting out for my first lesson this morning, the thermometer displayed only -4C
I had my first test cancellation of the winter today. My pupil was supposed to be taking her test in Elgin but the roads there are as bad as anywhere in the areas I cover. I had a chat with the examiners and they said that they did not expect any tests to be taking place in the near future.
However.....
I had a look at the Met Office website just now and tomorrow there are positive temperatures forecast for tomorrow, only 1 - 3 C in Inverness and Elgin, but a whopping 7C in Ullapool. Not only that, but on Friday and Saturday, the temperature could soar to a scorching 9 or 10C! Of course, every silver lining has a cloud, and heavy rain is the price we will have to pay for the comparative warmth.
I used to put as much trust in weather forecasts as I do in horoscopes, but they do seem to be more accurate these days and even if the temperatures forecast are a few degrees out, it should still be enough for a bit of a thaw. Not much of a consolation for my pupil, she has been so looking forward to (hopefully) passing her test, but who knows when it will be re-scheduled for.
Monday, 6 December 2010
You can tell I've got too much time on my hands today.....
I'm still wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes after clicking on the various clips on this page: http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/organgrinder/2010/dec/06/james-naughtie-jeremy-hunt-radio-4
When the going gets tough...
It is now nearly two weeks since the snow first arrived. I have given up cleaning my car for the moment; I should be cleaning the car more regularly to keep it clear of salt, grit and ice… maybe tomorrow.
The standard of driving around here has generally been good, but there have certainly been exceptions. Yesterday, I was on my way to Ullapool from early lessons in Inverness, with plenty of snow on the road and more snow falling. I was staggered to see a blue Subaru Impreza WRX overtake me, and the two cars immediately ahead of me, at a speed of at least 70mph. Granted, the WRX, with its all-wheel drive and low centre of gravity, will handle the conditions better than many cars, but it will still skid in a straight line once it loses traction. At 70mph that won’t be funny.
Someone tweeted “Drivers, if you are finding it difficult to control your car in these conditions, try ending your phone call and use both hands to hold the wheel.” The ones that really amaze me are when they have passengers, but it is the driver on the phone.
You may have heard that the police are getting tougher on motorists who fail to clear accumulations of snow from their roof. Apparently, this could lead to a £60 fine and 3 points on your licence. Far worse, it could lead to the snow sliding over your windscreen and your sudden loss of vision leading to a fatal accident. There have also been many reports of frozen blocks of snow flying off vehicles into the path of those following. A few days ago, my pupil had stopped at some traffic lights when car, with approximately 10cm on snow on the roof came up behind us. They braked and we watched as the entire load of snow slid forward and covered their windscreen. The lights changed to green and we drove off while the car behind remained stationary (to the irritation of following vehicle) while their windscreen wipers frantically tried to clear the snow. All it takes is about 20 seconds with a broom. On some forums I have seen people trying to justify that they can’t reach their roof. You have two options: Take an extra 30 seconds to get a stool, a step-ladder, or anything to give you enough height to clear the roof; or leave the snow on your roof and risk killing someone (maybe even yourself).
I have had a few more lessons cancelled, but I have been very impressed with my pupils’ attitude. Only two or three have cancelled because they don’t want to drive in these conditions; most of the cancellations have been because they live out of the area and have been unable to get transport to where I meet them (particularly in the case of my pupils from Kinlochbervie and Durness in the far north. I’m continually impressed with the dedication of these pupils to their lessons. Even in the best of conditions - my Kinlochbervie pupils have to make a 116 mile (three and a half hour) round trip to Ullapool for their lessons, while my pupils from Durness are even further away - 136 mile round trip (three hours, forty-five minutes).
I am really enjoying the lessons in the snow and ice. For their first lessons in these conditions I try to take them somewhere, such as an uncleared car park, where I can get them to safely brake normally to they can see how far the car will slide. Once they see this, I rarely have to tell them to brake on approach to junctions (and other hazards). It encourages them to look well ahead and come off the accelerator in plenty of time. I also explain how to use the gears and clutch effectively and, as a result, it can greatly improve their driving. If you are learning to drive and concerned about driving in these conditions, you may find that professional instruction in the snow and ice can substantially help your coordination of the controls (including steering). In fact, you don’t have to be a learner driver to benefit from qualified instruction.
So, apart from drivers who continue to use their phones while driving and people who can’t be bothered to take a moment to effectively clear their cars of snow and ice, the worst problem caused by these atrocious conditions is cancellation of tests. So far I have been lucky, as I have not had any tests scheduled for the past two weeks. However, I do have a few booked over the next fortnight and the forecast is not promising. I already have several pupils who are disappointed at the length of time they are having to wait for their test, so I am dreading test cancellations leading to the four month waiting times that we experienced earlier in the year. At least I know what I will be asking Father Christmas for - a heatwave.
The standard of driving around here has generally been good, but there have certainly been exceptions. Yesterday, I was on my way to Ullapool from early lessons in Inverness, with plenty of snow on the road and more snow falling. I was staggered to see a blue Subaru Impreza WRX overtake me, and the two cars immediately ahead of me, at a speed of at least 70mph. Granted, the WRX, with its all-wheel drive and low centre of gravity, will handle the conditions better than many cars, but it will still skid in a straight line once it loses traction. At 70mph that won’t be funny.
Someone tweeted “Drivers, if you are finding it difficult to control your car in these conditions, try ending your phone call and use both hands to hold the wheel.” The ones that really amaze me are when they have passengers, but it is the driver on the phone.
I have had a few more lessons cancelled, but I have been very impressed with my pupils’ attitude. Only two or three have cancelled because they don’t want to drive in these conditions; most of the cancellations have been because they live out of the area and have been unable to get transport to where I meet them (particularly in the case of my pupils from Kinlochbervie and Durness in the far north. I’m continually impressed with the dedication of these pupils to their lessons. Even in the best of conditions - my Kinlochbervie pupils have to make a 116 mile (three and a half hour) round trip to Ullapool for their lessons, while my pupils from Durness are even further away - 136 mile round trip (three hours, forty-five minutes).
I am really enjoying the lessons in the snow and ice. For their first lessons in these conditions I try to take them somewhere, such as an uncleared car park, where I can get them to safely brake normally to they can see how far the car will slide. Once they see this, I rarely have to tell them to brake on approach to junctions (and other hazards). It encourages them to look well ahead and come off the accelerator in plenty of time. I also explain how to use the gears and clutch effectively and, as a result, it can greatly improve their driving. If you are learning to drive and concerned about driving in these conditions, you may find that professional instruction in the snow and ice can substantially help your coordination of the controls (including steering). In fact, you don’t have to be a learner driver to benefit from qualified instruction.
So, apart from drivers who continue to use their phones while driving and people who can’t be bothered to take a moment to effectively clear their cars of snow and ice, the worst problem caused by these atrocious conditions is cancellation of tests. So far I have been lucky, as I have not had any tests scheduled for the past two weeks. However, I do have a few booked over the next fortnight and the forecast is not promising. I already have several pupils who are disappointed at the length of time they are having to wait for their test, so I am dreading test cancellations leading to the four month waiting times that we experienced earlier in the year. At least I know what I will be asking Father Christmas for - a heatwave.
In the bleak early winter
Sunday 5th December 20101.
Last winter I liked the snow when it first arrived, I looked forward to going sledging. It was only after a week of several cancelled lessons that I became weary of it. Last week, the snow arrived on Thursday afternoon and I was already sick of it by Friday morning.
Last Friday morning the plan had been for one of my Ullapool pupils to drive the 60 miles to Inverness for a lesson there, concentrating on roundabouts (there are none in Ullapool), then she would take the bus home. With the snowy conditions getting worse I gave her the option of just staying in Ullapool if she did not feel comfortable with the Inverness drive. After her lesson (in Ullapool), I drove back to Inverness for the afternoon’s lessons and was very relieved that my pupil had decided not to drive; the conditions en route were far worse than they had been in Ullapool. I may be biased, but I consider myself to be a competent, safe driver. It may be a 60mph road, but it was rarely safe to go above 40. That didn’t stop the idiot who overtook me when he had no way of knowing what was coming around the approaching bend. I dropped back to keep well clear of him as he tried to overtake the car ahead of me - his tyres weren’t gripping in the snow and the back of his car began fishtailing as he tried to accelerate. Finally he accepted that it was ridiculous trying to overtake in such conditions and pulled in behind the car. Part of me almost hoped that he had spun (safely) off the road, then, maybe, he might have learned how dangerously stupid he had been.
To be fair, I have been impressed with the driving of most people over the last week. The conditions have been lethal, even on the main roads. Of course, you get the odd numpty who drives too closely behind, at a distance that would be risky in good conditions, but most people seem to be patient and keeping at appropriate speeds (driving far too slowly is just as bad because it may encourage people to overtake when it is unsafe).
So far, I have only had 7 hours of cancellations due to the weather, so I am keeping everything tightly crossed in the hope that the thaw is not too far away. My pupils in Elgin have been most badly affected due to the continuing snow-fall. Saturday afternoon I completely cleared my car of snow and ice, only for it to be completely covered in 20cm of snow within a couple of hours. Inverness and Ullapool haven’t had quite as much snow, but the sub-zero temperatures mean that none of it is melting. Loch Glascarnoch (between Inverness and Ullapool) recorded -16°C on Sunday night, while Altnaharra (further north) dropped to -20°C two days later. This morning, in Ullapool, my car looked like a dirty, black ice-cube, but I had no lessons until 11am, by which time the sun had completely melted two sides of it. In fact, judging by the forecast, the West Highlands seem to have the best weather in almost the whole of the UK for the next few days - no more snow and even positive temperatures - but I’m still less than optimistic about the outlook in Moray.
It is at times like this - atrocious weather, etc - that the smallest crumbs of good news provide much needed relief. Today has been brightened up every half-hour when, during the sports news, the various correspondents all refer to West Ham Utd’s 4 - 0 victory over Manchester Utd as a ‘thrashing’. With Liverpool’s recent failure to build on good results (plus the loss of Steve Gerrard and Jamie Carragher to injury), it is always a warm consolation to see Sir Alex Ferguson's face (beneath his comedy pixie hat) and hear Man Utd fans unconvincingly trying to dismiss such results because ‘the Carling Cup doesn’t matter.’ One of life’s little pleasures.
Last winter I liked the snow when it first arrived, I looked forward to going sledging. It was only after a week of several cancelled lessons that I became weary of it. Last week, the snow arrived on Thursday afternoon and I was already sick of it by Friday morning.
Last Friday morning the plan had been for one of my Ullapool pupils to drive the 60 miles to Inverness for a lesson there, concentrating on roundabouts (there are none in Ullapool), then she would take the bus home. With the snowy conditions getting worse I gave her the option of just staying in Ullapool if she did not feel comfortable with the Inverness drive. After her lesson (in Ullapool), I drove back to Inverness for the afternoon’s lessons and was very relieved that my pupil had decided not to drive; the conditions en route were far worse than they had been in Ullapool. I may be biased, but I consider myself to be a competent, safe driver. It may be a 60mph road, but it was rarely safe to go above 40. That didn’t stop the idiot who overtook me when he had no way of knowing what was coming around the approaching bend. I dropped back to keep well clear of him as he tried to overtake the car ahead of me - his tyres weren’t gripping in the snow and the back of his car began fishtailing as he tried to accelerate. Finally he accepted that it was ridiculous trying to overtake in such conditions and pulled in behind the car. Part of me almost hoped that he had spun (safely) off the road, then, maybe, he might have learned how dangerously stupid he had been.
To be fair, I have been impressed with the driving of most people over the last week. The conditions have been lethal, even on the main roads. Of course, you get the odd numpty who drives too closely behind, at a distance that would be risky in good conditions, but most people seem to be patient and keeping at appropriate speeds (driving far too slowly is just as bad because it may encourage people to overtake when it is unsafe).
So far, I have only had 7 hours of cancellations due to the weather, so I am keeping everything tightly crossed in the hope that the thaw is not too far away. My pupils in Elgin have been most badly affected due to the continuing snow-fall. Saturday afternoon I completely cleared my car of snow and ice, only for it to be completely covered in 20cm of snow within a couple of hours. Inverness and Ullapool haven’t had quite as much snow, but the sub-zero temperatures mean that none of it is melting. Loch Glascarnoch (between Inverness and Ullapool) recorded -16°C on Sunday night, while Altnaharra (further north) dropped to -20°C two days later. This morning, in Ullapool, my car looked like a dirty, black ice-cube, but I had no lessons until 11am, by which time the sun had completely melted two sides of it. In fact, judging by the forecast, the West Highlands seem to have the best weather in almost the whole of the UK for the next few days - no more snow and even positive temperatures - but I’m still less than optimistic about the outlook in Moray.
It is at times like this - atrocious weather, etc - that the smallest crumbs of good news provide much needed relief. Today has been brightened up every half-hour when, during the sports news, the various correspondents all refer to West Ham Utd’s 4 - 0 victory over Manchester Utd as a ‘thrashing’. With Liverpool’s recent failure to build on good results (plus the loss of Steve Gerrard and Jamie Carragher to injury), it is always a warm consolation to see Sir Alex Ferguson's face (beneath his comedy pixie hat) and hear Man Utd fans unconvincingly trying to dismiss such results because ‘the Carling Cup doesn’t matter.’ One of life’s little pleasures.
Wednesday, 24 November 2010
Be prepared
Remember all those news reports of people being trapped in their cars overnight? Don't be so ignorant to think that it won't happen to you. It will only take a matter of minutes to prepare your car.
'Heavy snow' is forecast for parts of the Highlands over the next few days. The sensible thing is to decide whether you really need to make that journey? If so, then allow plenty of time, make sure your windows are all completely clear (not just a tiny hole scraped clear of ice) , keep WELL back from the vehicle ahead and let people know what time you are setting off and where you are going. I'm not just talking about the North of Scotland. There is no reason why this winter should be any better than last winter, so learn from last year and get yourself prepared.
Friday, 19 November 2010
Intense
A few months ago someone contacted me to ask if I do 'intensive courses'. They said that they wanted to learn as quickly as possible. This set alarm bells ringing in my head; learning to drive should not be something to 'get over and done with'. I tried to steer him towards a more conventional course, or even a semi-intensive course. He then explained that he was busy at work and college, including evenings and weekends, annd would rather take a week off work to learn to drive. Hmmmm..... Ok then, I agreed and explained the plan: I said he would have to study for and pass his Theory Test, then go ahead and book his test the week after his intensive course. He wanted to have the test in the same week, but I explained that he would have to pass a mock test at least one week before his driving test, or else I would advise postponing the test.
I have had a couple of enquiries like this before, but never heard anything from them after. So it was with slight surprise that, last month, he called me to say that he had passed his theory and had booked his test for 10.44am on Friday 19th November, in Inverness. He then said he would like to book a 20 hour course the week before. 20 hours? Had he already had some lessons then? No. Will he be able to get extra practice with friends of family? No. Well, in that case, 20 hours will not be enough. I have got some of my Ullapool pupils through their test in less than 20 hours (without any other driving experience), but never in Inverness. Ullapool has no roundabouts, dual-carriageways or even a traffic light, so 20 hours is feasible. But Inverness has it all: multi-lane roads, fiendishly complex roundabouts, plenty of traffic lights, pedestrian crossings, 70mph dual-carriageways, buses, cyclists etc.... in short, everything you would expect to find in a city. I was thrilled, a few years back, when Catriona passed in Inverness, first time, after only 23 hours with me, from scratch. But she was exceptional. So I suggested that we start with a 20 hour course, and see how that goes, but I would not make any promises and repeated my warning that he would have to pass a mock test with at least a week to spare.
So, Saturday 6th November, I met Calum for the first time for a three hour lesson: Cockpit drill; controls; Moving off/stopping; Basic junctions. That was the plan, but everything was going well, so I decided to push him and we covered crossroads and roundabouts.
Sunday 7th November: Recap of yesterday's lesson. More complex junctions and roundabouts. Use of signals. All going well, so time to introduce reversing and the manoeuvres (Turn in the road, reversing to the left, reversing to the right - important for him as he will need to drive a van at work - parallel park and bay park).
Monday 8th November: Recap of everything so far. Meeting and crossing traffic. Traffic lights, Pedestrian crossings, Emergency stop. Rural roads.
Tuesday 9th November: Recap. Making progress (not holding up traffic). Dual-carriageways. Overtaking. Independent driving.
Wednesday 10th November: Recap everything.
Thursday 11th - Friday 12th November: Days off.
Saturday 13th November: Practice, practice, practice. MOCK TEST. Hmmmm. Not too bad. Getting a little ahead of himself on gear selection - changing down before he had sufficiently brought the speed down - and being a bit too hasty to select 2nd and 1st gears. We analysed the possible consequences of this. However, he failed his mock test because he indicated left on approach to a roundabout when I had asked him to 'turn left, taking the second exit'. We had used 17 of his 20 hours. Options: Postpone his test, take more lessons, or work damn hard in the last three hours to iron out all wrinkles...... We chose the third option as he would be going back to work and not have much time, and I was fully-booked in Elgin, Gairloch and Ullapool in the days before his test.
So, this morning, I set off from Ullapool at 6am to pick Calum up at 7.30am for three very concentrated hours before the test. He had not driven for the six days since his mock test and, though fine to start with, nerves started to creep in, causing silly mistakes with the gears. To make matters worse, the morning sun was very bright and me cleaning the car yesterday had been a waste of time as, in 24 hours, the car and the windscreen were already covered in spray, making visibility difficult. Time to swap seats.
I explained that I would give him a break from his driving. I would drive to a drive-through car wash, giving him a commentary drive as I did so. An instructor may often demonstrate a technique, or manoeuvre, when teaching it for the first time; it is a useful tool. Occasionally, I have found it helpful to use a demonstration when the pupil can already do what is being asked, but is not quite getting it right. I demonstrated how much easier driving is when I use the brakes to give me plenty of time to decide which gear to select. Whilst in the car-wash we re-capped all the 'show me/tell me' questions and then I drove for another few minutes. "Now, I want you to drive like that."
It worked a treat. He stopped rushing for the gearstick and used his brakes to give him more time to assess hazards and junctions. His driving became much more relaxed and I hope he went into his test a little less nervous.
Nervous or not, Calum passed with 6 minor faults. I was particularly impressed when he described his route, as the independent driving section had involved him following signposts to Aberdeen, taking in several dual-carriageways with very careful lane-planning required and deceptively low speed limits.
Would I take on anyone else for an 'intensive course'? Yes. I would still recommend a more traditional, gradual course, but, there is no denying, it worked for Calum and it completed a successful week for me with 5 passes in 7 tests.
I have had a couple of enquiries like this before, but never heard anything from them after. So it was with slight surprise that, last month, he called me to say that he had passed his theory and had booked his test for 10.44am on Friday 19th November, in Inverness. He then said he would like to book a 20 hour course the week before. 20 hours? Had he already had some lessons then? No. Will he be able to get extra practice with friends of family? No. Well, in that case, 20 hours will not be enough. I have got some of my Ullapool pupils through their test in less than 20 hours (without any other driving experience), but never in Inverness. Ullapool has no roundabouts, dual-carriageways or even a traffic light, so 20 hours is feasible. But Inverness has it all: multi-lane roads, fiendishly complex roundabouts, plenty of traffic lights, pedestrian crossings, 70mph dual-carriageways, buses, cyclists etc.... in short, everything you would expect to find in a city. I was thrilled, a few years back, when Catriona passed in Inverness, first time, after only 23 hours with me, from scratch. But she was exceptional. So I suggested that we start with a 20 hour course, and see how that goes, but I would not make any promises and repeated my warning that he would have to pass a mock test with at least a week to spare.
So, Saturday 6th November, I met Calum for the first time for a three hour lesson: Cockpit drill; controls; Moving off/stopping; Basic junctions. That was the plan, but everything was going well, so I decided to push him and we covered crossroads and roundabouts.
Sunday 7th November: Recap of yesterday's lesson. More complex junctions and roundabouts. Use of signals. All going well, so time to introduce reversing and the manoeuvres (Turn in the road, reversing to the left, reversing to the right - important for him as he will need to drive a van at work - parallel park and bay park).
Monday 8th November: Recap of everything so far. Meeting and crossing traffic. Traffic lights, Pedestrian crossings, Emergency stop. Rural roads.
Tuesday 9th November: Recap. Making progress (not holding up traffic). Dual-carriageways. Overtaking. Independent driving.
Wednesday 10th November: Recap everything.
Thursday 11th - Friday 12th November: Days off.
Saturday 13th November: Practice, practice, practice. MOCK TEST. Hmmmm. Not too bad. Getting a little ahead of himself on gear selection - changing down before he had sufficiently brought the speed down - and being a bit too hasty to select 2nd and 1st gears. We analysed the possible consequences of this. However, he failed his mock test because he indicated left on approach to a roundabout when I had asked him to 'turn left, taking the second exit'. We had used 17 of his 20 hours. Options: Postpone his test, take more lessons, or work damn hard in the last three hours to iron out all wrinkles...... We chose the third option as he would be going back to work and not have much time, and I was fully-booked in Elgin, Gairloch and Ullapool in the days before his test.
So, this morning, I set off from Ullapool at 6am to pick Calum up at 7.30am for three very concentrated hours before the test. He had not driven for the six days since his mock test and, though fine to start with, nerves started to creep in, causing silly mistakes with the gears. To make matters worse, the morning sun was very bright and me cleaning the car yesterday had been a waste of time as, in 24 hours, the car and the windscreen were already covered in spray, making visibility difficult. Time to swap seats.
I explained that I would give him a break from his driving. I would drive to a drive-through car wash, giving him a commentary drive as I did so. An instructor may often demonstrate a technique, or manoeuvre, when teaching it for the first time; it is a useful tool. Occasionally, I have found it helpful to use a demonstration when the pupil can already do what is being asked, but is not quite getting it right. I demonstrated how much easier driving is when I use the brakes to give me plenty of time to decide which gear to select. Whilst in the car-wash we re-capped all the 'show me/tell me' questions and then I drove for another few minutes. "Now, I want you to drive like that."
It worked a treat. He stopped rushing for the gearstick and used his brakes to give him more time to assess hazards and junctions. His driving became much more relaxed and I hope he went into his test a little less nervous.
Nervous or not, Calum passed with 6 minor faults. I was particularly impressed when he described his route, as the independent driving section had involved him following signposts to Aberdeen, taking in several dual-carriageways with very careful lane-planning required and deceptively low speed limits.
Would I take on anyone else for an 'intensive course'? Yes. I would still recommend a more traditional, gradual course, but, there is no denying, it worked for Calum and it completed a successful week for me with 5 passes in 7 tests.
Wild is the wind
………. Not the best start to the day. I am staying for three nights in Ullapool and I woke this morning with an annoying headache - I don’t get headaches…. It must have been caused by Gillian McKeith’s constant whining on ‘I’m a celebrity….’ last night. Not only that, but the cold, bright, crystalline weather has been replaced by a howling gale that intensifies by the minute, I managed to spill boiling water on my leg whilst making tea and, worst of all, they forgot to put any biscuits in my hotel room…. I shall have to have strong words with the management.
Right…. Another three more pupils taking their tests today and all of them are first-timers. Cue lots of pep talks from me, explaining that it is ‘just like another lesson’. They are not stupid, they know it is NOT ‘just another lesson’, but they sometimes forget that it is not a matter of life or death either. Apart from a minor dent to their pride, and their wallet, it is no big deal if they fail, after all, most people DON’T pass first time (nationally).
I have just popped back to the hotel for a cup of tea and an update. It is a very wild day out there; the trees, even the palm trees (conned by the gulf stream into growing here), are swaying from side to side and I have twice had to stop to move wheelie bins that had blown into the road. So far so good. Jorg passed with three minor faults and my next pupil, Jonathan, is currently out on test as I write. If he drives the way he usually does not only will he pass his test easily, but the DSA will be asking him to star in instructional videos, I have rarely met a pupil who is so textbook in his driving, - all mirror checks, indicators, positions, brakes and gears are perfectly timed - let’s hope it stays that way.
Delighted to report that Jonathan also passed, again with three minor faults, and wasted no time in going off to pick up his car to go out for a drive (just like I did when I passed). So far, all my pupils have been quite happy for me not to be in the car with them during their test, and, with Ullapool not having a cosy test centre for me to wait in, I am grateful that I only have a short walk back to my hotel while they are out on test. I say ‘short walk’, it depends on the wind direction. Amazingly, the wind seems to be getting stronger, so walking towards the hotel I stagger at an average speed of 0.01mph, but walking back to the car park I simply open out my coat to catch the wind and fly at 30mph (20mph when the school lights are flashing). On the bright side, the hurricane has blown my headache away (and messed my hair up).
Still no clean sweep in Ullapool because, sadly, my third pupil did not pass. Only a few minor faults, but their steering wasn‘t accurate enough. That’s easy enough to fix; it has never been an issue before, so perhaps they just felt a bit rushed on the day.
It is now Thursday morning and STILL no let up with the wind. Another day full of lessons in Ullapool, taking me right through to 8pm tonight. But I do have a couple of hours off this morning and, for the third time this week I am going to clean my car. The combination of melted frost and grit makes a bit of a mess of the black paintwork and sometimes it feels pointless cleaning the car because I know it will look dirty again in a few hours time. But another pupil’s test in Inverness tomorrow means I would like my car looking at least semi-respectable, so another wash it has to be. Speaking of which…. While Jorg and I were having a lesson yesterday morning before his test, someone else who was also taking their test in Ullapool stopped me and asked where they meet the examiner. As I gave her the information I could see that the back seat of her car was full of CDs, clothes and disposable coffee cups. I just hope she did not get asked to do an emergency stop on her test, otherwise someone else would have a headache.
Right…. Another three more pupils taking their tests today and all of them are first-timers. Cue lots of pep talks from me, explaining that it is ‘just like another lesson’. They are not stupid, they know it is NOT ‘just another lesson’, but they sometimes forget that it is not a matter of life or death either. Apart from a minor dent to their pride, and their wallet, it is no big deal if they fail, after all, most people DON’T pass first time (nationally).
I have just popped back to the hotel for a cup of tea and an update. It is a very wild day out there; the trees, even the palm trees (conned by the gulf stream into growing here), are swaying from side to side and I have twice had to stop to move wheelie bins that had blown into the road. So far so good. Jorg passed with three minor faults and my next pupil, Jonathan, is currently out on test as I write. If he drives the way he usually does not only will he pass his test easily, but the DSA will be asking him to star in instructional videos, I have rarely met a pupil who is so textbook in his driving, - all mirror checks, indicators, positions, brakes and gears are perfectly timed - let’s hope it stays that way.
Still no clean sweep in Ullapool because, sadly, my third pupil did not pass. Only a few minor faults, but their steering wasn‘t accurate enough. That’s easy enough to fix; it has never been an issue before, so perhaps they just felt a bit rushed on the day.
It is now Thursday morning and STILL no let up with the wind. Another day full of lessons in Ullapool, taking me right through to 8pm tonight. But I do have a couple of hours off this morning and, for the third time this week I am going to clean my car. The combination of melted frost and grit makes a bit of a mess of the black paintwork and sometimes it feels pointless cleaning the car because I know it will look dirty again in a few hours time. But another pupil’s test in Inverness tomorrow means I would like my car looking at least semi-respectable, so another wash it has to be. Speaking of which…. While Jorg and I were having a lesson yesterday morning before his test, someone else who was also taking their test in Ullapool stopped me and asked where they meet the examiner. As I gave her the information I could see that the back seat of her car was full of CDs, clothes and disposable coffee cups. I just hope she did not get asked to do an emergency stop on her test, otherwise someone else would have a headache.
From frozen Forres to the wild West
Six o’clock this morning, the temperature was -5°C and the sparkling ice carapace that encrusted my car mirrored the millions of stars in the Moray Firth sky. CD player loaded with Arcade Fire’s The Suburbs and I set off on a two hour journey to Gairloch.
Once again, the waiting time for a test has started to creep up at some test centres. Not too bad in Elgin and Inverness, but over twelve weeks in Ullapool at the moment. A little disappointing for those learners who are at, or near, test standard, but especially disappointing for anyone who has recently failed a test that they have to wait so long for another chance.
Last month, I had four pupils taking their test in Ullapool (see ‘And I ask myself ‘How did I get here?’’). Three passed, but the one that did not was a big surprise (insufficient observations on parallel park), I was so confident he would pass easily. Anyway, he wasn’t happy to wait so long for another test, so he asked if he could take it in Gairloch.
It may be a two hour drive for me, but, as I have said before, it is a stunning journey and well worth it just for the views of Slioch and Loch Maree as the sun rises. In the 100 mile section from Garve - Gairloch - Ullapool I barely saw another vehicle and, you can test yourself here, about the only road signs are these:
This success was quickly followed by another of my pupils taking their test in Gairloch due to the lack of Ullapool tests. This was Neil’s first attempt and he passed with five minors.So, well done Gavin and Neil. Enjoy your driving and I look forward to seeing Gavin again for your Pass Plus.
(Gavin in Gairloch)
Once again, the waiting time for a test has started to creep up at some test centres. Not too bad in Elgin and Inverness, but over twelve weeks in Ullapool at the moment. A little disappointing for those learners who are at, or near, test standard, but especially disappointing for anyone who has recently failed a test that they have to wait so long for another chance.
Last month, I had four pupils taking their test in Ullapool (see ‘And I ask myself ‘How did I get here?’’). Three passed, but the one that did not was a big surprise (insufficient observations on parallel park), I was so confident he would pass easily. Anyway, he wasn’t happy to wait so long for another test, so he asked if he could take it in Gairloch.
It may be a two hour drive for me, but, as I have said before, it is a stunning journey and well worth it just for the views of Slioch and Loch Maree as the sun rises. In the 100 mile section from Garve - Gairloch - Ullapool I barely saw another vehicle and, you can test yourself here, about the only road signs are these:
Now, Gairloch is not the hardest place in the world to take your test - sheep are the most likely hazard - and, before I let my pupils take their test, I like to be confident that they can drive anywhere. No such worries with my pupil, I am sure he could cope with any location.
I met my pupil, Gavin, and we had an unusually relaxed drive - he didn’t seem the slightest bit nervous - before he set off on his test. Unfortunately, disaaarrrrster then struck….. I went to Mountain Café for a coffee, but, zut alors! No marmalade scones! I had been looking forward to one of these lip-smacking beauties ever since Gavin told me he had booked his test here.
Oh yes…. Gavin‘s test…… Never in doubt. He passed with three minor faults.
It was tempting to sneak back to the café to see if they had baked any marmalade scones yet, but, with an iron will, I got back in my car and set off for three full days of tests, lessons and a quiz in Ullapool…………
(Gavin in Gairloch)
Monday, 15 November 2010
110% Pass Rate
Who doesn't use Google these days? Does anyone use Yahoo, Alta Vista, Ask Jeeves, Cuil, Lycos, Excite or Dogpile anymore? I thought I would give Microsoft's Bing a try this morning. I typed in 'Driving instructor' and added various locations and was then alarmed to see that it came up 'Martin's Driving: My pass rate plummets'. Not really what I want people to see when they are searching for a driving instructor! Of course, this was a link to a previous post where, after picking up my new car I had a run of passes (so, 100%), but one fail in seven tests dropped my pass rate (in my new car) to 86%.
So, to counter this adverse publicity I thought I had better write this post so that anyone in Lossiemouth, Elgin, Forres, Nairn, Inverness, Culloden, Ullapool, etc looking for a driving instructor might be enticed by Bing listing this post's title instead of the 'pass rate plummets' title. Yes, I know it is impossible to have a pass rate of 110%, but if footballers and talent show contestants are allowed to say they "Gave it 110%", why can't I?
I'm sticking with Google in future.
(Edit: I totted up my pupils' test results since I started Farle Driving School at the start of July and, over 36 tests, there have been 27 passes and 9 fails - A not-too-shabby pass rate of 75%. On the X Factor this weekend Simon Cowell just made some reference to "One hundred million percent".... That would be an impressive pass rate)
So, to counter this adverse publicity I thought I had better write this post so that anyone in Lossiemouth, Elgin, Forres, Nairn, Inverness, Culloden, Ullapool, etc looking for a driving instructor might be enticed by Bing listing this post's title instead of the 'pass rate plummets' title. Yes, I know it is impossible to have a pass rate of 110%, but if footballers and talent show contestants are allowed to say they "Gave it 110%", why can't I?
I'm sticking with Google in future.
(Edit: I totted up my pupils' test results since I started Farle Driving School at the start of July and, over 36 tests, there have been 27 passes and 9 fails - A not-too-shabby pass rate of 75%. On the X Factor this weekend Simon Cowell just made some reference to "One hundred million percent".... That would be an impressive pass rate)
Saturday, 13 November 2010
From the ridiculous to the sublime
Awww, I'm disappointed today.
The other day I started off with a six hour Pass Plus course, followed by a two hour lesson with someone who has their test next week, then, to finish the day, the last lesson for a pupil before her test. A long day.
The Pass Plus pupil was someone who had passed their driving test in England, last Spring, but had recently moved to Scotland. In between they had not been able to much driving due to working abroad. I was horrified. Pass Plus is part instruction, but part assessment. They have already passed their test, so I should not need to teach them the basics, but we look at how we can improve their driving with respect to Town driving, rural driving, night driving, bad weather driving, dual-carriageways and motorways. There are no motorways within 100 miles of here and they had to be back in Inverness by 3 o'clock, so night driving and motorways had to be addressed in theory, but not in practice.
To say their driving was 'rusty' was a severe understatement. After fifteen minutes driving around Inverness I asked them to stop so that I could put the 'L'-plates back on. I lied and told him that it was because he was 'under instruction' and I had forgotten to put them on to start with. In truth it was because I wanted other drivers not to expect my pupil's driving to be that great. He had wanted to do the six hour course in one go because he lived so far away from Inverness. I always interrupt a 6-hour lesson with a tea break, otherwise it is too long for someone to concentrate, but it was still a very long 6 hours. Instead of me assessing his driving and offering advanced instruction only when necessary, I found myself having to give almost constant instruction. In fact, at the end of the course, for the first time ever, I had to explain that I did not think he was yet at the required standard (and I was being very diplomatic) and more instruction would be needed before I could sign off his Pass Plus assessment. It was not the most pleasant lesson I have ever given.
The next lesson wasn't great either. This pupil's driving has improved rapidly and, with his test booked for next week, he was easily at the required standard.... until this lesson. I don't know what happened, maybe a lack of concentration, but he began making quite basic errors and this led to worse driving and more errors. Not a good day so far.
My last lesson, was therefore, like relaxing in a scented bath, sipping Lagavulin and listening to Beth Orton's The sweetest decline after eight hours sitting in a tub of ants while chewing tin foil and being forced to listen to the X Factor's Aiden Grimshaw and Wagner take it in turns to sing Westlife songs and scrape their nails down a blackboard. Tracy's lesson was so good and so smooth that I could have nodded off. Where, a few weeks ago, she had been very worried about taking her test, we were both now full of confidence.
So today was the day of her test. The lesson before was not her best, but that often happens. She asked me to sit in on the test and, unfortunately, nerves just got the better of her. One early minor fault played on her mind and she began to make more mistakes, including a couple of serious faults. I just need to reassure her that I think her driving is (usually) excellent, but rushing around the test route will not get the test finished any earlier. I will just add that I thought the examiner was excellent, particularly in the manner she tried to relax Tracy.
My birthday today, and it was great to receive so many emails and facebook messages. Just a shame that Tracy passing her test would have been the most welcome present. On the bright side, it does mean I get to enjoy her driving again.
The other day I started off with a six hour Pass Plus course, followed by a two hour lesson with someone who has their test next week, then, to finish the day, the last lesson for a pupil before her test. A long day.
The Pass Plus pupil was someone who had passed their driving test in England, last Spring, but had recently moved to Scotland. In between they had not been able to much driving due to working abroad. I was horrified. Pass Plus is part instruction, but part assessment. They have already passed their test, so I should not need to teach them the basics, but we look at how we can improve their driving with respect to Town driving, rural driving, night driving, bad weather driving, dual-carriageways and motorways. There are no motorways within 100 miles of here and they had to be back in Inverness by 3 o'clock, so night driving and motorways had to be addressed in theory, but not in practice.
To say their driving was 'rusty' was a severe understatement. After fifteen minutes driving around Inverness I asked them to stop so that I could put the 'L'-plates back on. I lied and told him that it was because he was 'under instruction' and I had forgotten to put them on to start with. In truth it was because I wanted other drivers not to expect my pupil's driving to be that great. He had wanted to do the six hour course in one go because he lived so far away from Inverness. I always interrupt a 6-hour lesson with a tea break, otherwise it is too long for someone to concentrate, but it was still a very long 6 hours. Instead of me assessing his driving and offering advanced instruction only when necessary, I found myself having to give almost constant instruction. In fact, at the end of the course, for the first time ever, I had to explain that I did not think he was yet at the required standard (and I was being very diplomatic) and more instruction would be needed before I could sign off his Pass Plus assessment. It was not the most pleasant lesson I have ever given.
The next lesson wasn't great either. This pupil's driving has improved rapidly and, with his test booked for next week, he was easily at the required standard.... until this lesson. I don't know what happened, maybe a lack of concentration, but he began making quite basic errors and this led to worse driving and more errors. Not a good day so far.
My last lesson, was therefore, like relaxing in a scented bath, sipping Lagavulin and listening to Beth Orton's The sweetest decline after eight hours sitting in a tub of ants while chewing tin foil and being forced to listen to the X Factor's Aiden Grimshaw and Wagner take it in turns to sing Westlife songs and scrape their nails down a blackboard. Tracy's lesson was so good and so smooth that I could have nodded off. Where, a few weeks ago, she had been very worried about taking her test, we were both now full of confidence.
So today was the day of her test. The lesson before was not her best, but that often happens. She asked me to sit in on the test and, unfortunately, nerves just got the better of her. One early minor fault played on her mind and she began to make more mistakes, including a couple of serious faults. I just need to reassure her that I think her driving is (usually) excellent, but rushing around the test route will not get the test finished any earlier. I will just add that I thought the examiner was excellent, particularly in the manner she tried to relax Tracy.
My birthday today, and it was great to receive so many emails and facebook messages. Just a shame that Tracy passing her test would have been the most welcome present. On the bright side, it does mean I get to enjoy her driving again.
Sunday, 7 November 2010
And I ask myself "How did you get here?"
A while back I mentioned that I had installed statistical tools on this blog (and my website) that enable me to see what criteria people use to find me - Are they Googling for ‘Driving lessons in Nairn’? Have they seen my car and searched for ‘Farle Driving School’? Or are they bored at work and coming to this blog to feed the fish? Most people visiting these sites are searching for ‘Driving school Elgin’, or ‘Driving lessons in Ullapool’, or ‘The best instructor in Culloden, probably’ for example. But I also get lots of views from people who have searched for ‘Gairloch Harbour’ and get a link to here simply because I put a pretty picture of the harbour on these pages several months back. Other unlikely search terms include ‘John Otway’, ‘Peer pressure’, ‘What’s the worst road to turn out of?’ and (worryingly) ‘Paedophile Boat of Garten’. I must hastily explain that this search directed them to my post, last Christmas, where I described a Santa’s train journey through Boat of Garten (a place in the Cairngorms) and pondered on the social acceptability of including Gary Glitter’s Rock and Roll Christmas on our party playlist. However, I can’t help but wonder what they were actually looking for.
Perhaps I should try to capitalise on this and slip words into this blog which may attract millions of hits on search engines. So don’t be Lady Gaga confused if, while you are reading about the X Factors which cause skidding, or you want to know when to Justin Bieber your horn, or what I think about the complete Wagners who tailgate my pupils, you notice the odd pop culture reference slipped in.
One topic that does seem to be on the increase is ‘BSM’. recent search terms have included ‘Is BSM a good company to work for?’ (You don’t work FOR BSM - their instructors are self-employed driving instructors with a BSM franchise) And ‘AA or BSM?’ (I can’t say, I have little knowledge of an AA franchise). Obviously, if you are looking for driving lessons you should come to me, rather than BSM, but, if you are thinking of becoming a Driving Instructor, I would gladly recommend BSM. Personally, if I was still with BSM I would be disappointed at their recent decision to switch back to Corsas from the Fiat 500 (the Vauxhall is a lesser car in my opinion), but I know many instructors will be happy with the decision. BSM’s is certainly not the cheapest franchise, but I found their training very thorough. I recently had a blitz on old paperwork and was amazed at the amount of training material I accumulated.
Another reason to recommend BSM to new instructors is the level of support they provide; at least, the support was certainly good in Inverness. The office would do everything they could to keep my diary booked up weeks, even months, ahead. Since I left BSM I sometimes miss that planning. At the moment I have more pupils than I have ever had before, but my diary has large gaps after the next three weeks. Nothing for me to worry about (I hope), as many of my pupils work shifts, or have other reasons for not being able to plan too far ahead and I know they will book lessons nearer the time. Even so, not having the office to plan ahead for me keeps me on my toes and I have to keep looking ahead to where the next pupils are coming from, especially with ten pupils taking their tests during the next month.
Facebook, The Inbetweeners, Call of Duty, Cheryl Cole, Ipad, Obama, The Wanted, Wii, Free games, One Direction, Twitter, Football, Amazon, Take That, Hurricane, Top Gear, Zac Efron, Twilight saga, Playstation, Robert Pattinson, Free porn….. There, that should boost the number of people reaching my site via search engines.
Perhaps I should try to capitalise on this and slip words into this blog which may attract millions of hits on search engines. So don’t be Lady Gaga confused if, while you are reading about the X Factors which cause skidding, or you want to know when to Justin Bieber your horn, or what I think about the complete Wagners who tailgate my pupils, you notice the odd pop culture reference slipped in.
One topic that does seem to be on the increase is ‘BSM’. recent search terms have included ‘Is BSM a good company to work for?’ (You don’t work FOR BSM - their instructors are self-employed driving instructors with a BSM franchise) And ‘AA or BSM?’ (I can’t say, I have little knowledge of an AA franchise). Obviously, if you are looking for driving lessons you should come to me, rather than BSM, but, if you are thinking of becoming a Driving Instructor, I would gladly recommend BSM. Personally, if I was still with BSM I would be disappointed at their recent decision to switch back to Corsas from the Fiat 500 (the Vauxhall is a lesser car in my opinion), but I know many instructors will be happy with the decision. BSM’s is certainly not the cheapest franchise, but I found their training very thorough. I recently had a blitz on old paperwork and was amazed at the amount of training material I accumulated.
Another reason to recommend BSM to new instructors is the level of support they provide; at least, the support was certainly good in Inverness. The office would do everything they could to keep my diary booked up weeks, even months, ahead. Since I left BSM I sometimes miss that planning. At the moment I have more pupils than I have ever had before, but my diary has large gaps after the next three weeks. Nothing for me to worry about (I hope), as many of my pupils work shifts, or have other reasons for not being able to plan too far ahead and I know they will book lessons nearer the time. Even so, not having the office to plan ahead for me keeps me on my toes and I have to keep looking ahead to where the next pupils are coming from, especially with ten pupils taking their tests during the next month.
Facebook, The Inbetweeners, Call of Duty, Cheryl Cole, Ipad, Obama, The Wanted, Wii, Free games, One Direction, Twitter, Football, Amazon, Take That, Hurricane, Top Gear, Zac Efron, Twilight saga, Playstation, Robert Pattinson, Free porn….. There, that should boost the number of people reaching my site via search engines.
Freakshows and Eggheads
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! What is WRONG with you people. Maybe it’s just me….. It must be. I know you must be getting fed up with my little rants, but please, please, please USE YOUR INDICATORS. It really isn’t that difficult. I’m beginning to suspect that people are not indicating just to deliberately wind me up, because it seems that no-one indicates anymore.
Right, I’ve got that off my chest and I promise I will not mention it anymore (at least not this year).
Other than that, life is currently full of little pleasures: Steven Gerrard being an absolute legend AGAIN and rescuing Liverpool; several of my pupils really putting extra effort into their driving this week; a BBC sports correspondent describing a goal today as ‘a crapping shot’, watching with horrified incredulity at the freak show that is X Factor (Wagner, Louie Walsh and Simon “You know what, that was, without question, blah blah blah” Cowell in particular); watching with side-splitting hilarity at the preening, narcissistic, self-loving freak show that is Gavin Henson on Strictly come dancing (especially when he screwed up the Welsh flag rather than wear it); listening to Joy Division’s Les Bains Douches and being reminded just how utterly godlike they were.
But the best thing this week was Pam.
A couple of months ago I sat by my sad little self, taking part in the weekly quiz in The Argyl, in Ullapool. At the end of the night Pam, a member of one the quiz teams, approached me and asked for an appraisal lesson as she had her driving test booked. Pam has been driving (mainly automatics) in New York for many years and, maybe as a result, her driving wasn’t quite as precise as it should be. Unfortunately she failed her test. The following Thursday she kindly invited me to join their quiz team. The quiz is hosted by Bob. Magnus Magnusson he is not…… He much prefers it when there are no children in the pub so that he may explore the more colourful extremities of the English language and put forward his own personal slant on the questions. Bob’s occasional references to my occupation has put pressure on me to help Pam pass her test, so, with Pam being unable to get a test date in Ullapool, it was especially pleasing when she passed in Lairg this week.
So the pressure is off Pam (and me), but there is increasing pressure on our quiz team. This week we recorded our tenth consecutive win. It’s getting a bit like when Liverpool used to win match after match after match. I’ve obviously got a long memory.
Right, I’ve got that off my chest and I promise I will not mention it anymore (at least not this year).
Other than that, life is currently full of little pleasures: Steven Gerrard being an absolute legend AGAIN and rescuing Liverpool; several of my pupils really putting extra effort into their driving this week; a BBC sports correspondent describing a goal today as ‘a crapping shot’, watching with horrified incredulity at the freak show that is X Factor (Wagner, Louie Walsh and Simon “You know what, that was, without question, blah blah blah” Cowell in particular); watching with side-splitting hilarity at the preening, narcissistic, self-loving freak show that is Gavin Henson on Strictly come dancing (especially when he screwed up the Welsh flag rather than wear it); listening to Joy Division’s Les Bains Douches and being reminded just how utterly godlike they were.
But the best thing this week was Pam.
A couple of months ago I sat by my sad little self, taking part in the weekly quiz in The Argyl, in Ullapool. At the end of the night Pam, a member of one the quiz teams, approached me and asked for an appraisal lesson as she had her driving test booked. Pam has been driving (mainly automatics) in New York for many years and, maybe as a result, her driving wasn’t quite as precise as it should be. Unfortunately she failed her test. The following Thursday she kindly invited me to join their quiz team. The quiz is hosted by Bob. Magnus Magnusson he is not…… He much prefers it when there are no children in the pub so that he may explore the more colourful extremities of the English language and put forward his own personal slant on the questions. Bob’s occasional references to my occupation has put pressure on me to help Pam pass her test, so, with Pam being unable to get a test date in Ullapool, it was especially pleasing when she passed in Lairg this week.
So the pressure is off Pam (and me), but there is increasing pressure on our quiz team. This week we recorded our tenth consecutive win. It’s getting a bit like when Liverpool used to win match after match after match. I’ve obviously got a long memory.
Monday, 1 November 2010
Did you know you can indicate 'right' as well as 'left'?
Enjoying a leisurely drive home from Ullapool just now when something happened which really shocked me: I was quite comfortable at 60mph when I noticed a car gradually gaining on me. For a few minutes the driver held back at a safe distance then, when a suitable opportunity arose, I watched him check his mirrors, indicate right, overtake me and, once he was a safe distance ahead, he moved back to the left (with no indicator). If any of you are puzzled and thinking 'Well, what's shocking about that?', the reason I found it shocking is because it was a patient, safe and correct overtaking manoeuvre (even if it was slightly over the speed limit) and that is becoming increasingly rare.
I have previously talked about what my driving used to be like, but these days I simply leave plenty of time for the journey if I have a deadline to meet. I keep up to the speed limits (where safe to do so), but accept that some people can safely exceed them. I'm not saying I condone it, I just accept it.
I'm going a bit off-track here because I wanted to talk about overtaking, and how poorly it is usually executed. It had almost got to the stage where I was beginning to worry that I had missed a new Driving Standards Authority directive, stating that they had decided on a different way of overtaking. A far more common way of overtaking now seems to be as follows:
1. Accelerate right up to the vehicle in front (ending up so close that the view of the road ahead is reduced).2. Drive along with your head tilted to the right (because you can't see the road ahead).
3. Edge out to the right (because you still can't see the road ahead).
4. Quickly duck back in because a timber lorry is heading towards you.
5. Repeat steps 2 - 4 until you spot a tiny gap in the oncoming traffic.
6. Put your foot down and accelerate towards the vehicle in front, swerving out at the last moment (with no indicator and definitely no mirror checks).
7. Realise that you had not anticipated the possibility of oncoming cars coming around the bend ahead.
8. Indicate left (although it is BLOODY OBVIOUS you are going to return to the left).
9. Cut back in front of the vehicle you have (almost) overtaken.
10. Forget to cancel your indicator, which is still blinking away.
11. Repeat steps 1 - 10 until you have overtaken maybe a few more cars and got to your destination maybe 20 seconds earlier than if you had just accepted that the flow of traffic was fine at 60 mph.
You may have read my rants about indicators previously, but the use (or lack of) when overtaking is baffling. I would say that, usually, if a driver indicates at all during overtaking, it is only to indicate left after passing the car. Now, correct me if you think I am wrong, but surely an indicator is to warn other road users that you are about to do something they may not expect, or know, you are about to do? I know (or at least hope) that a car will return to left after it has overtaken me.
Is there any problem in indicating left after overtaking? Not usually, so long as it is soon cancelled, but it likely to be unnecessary. In fact, I once had a pupil who failed her test for doing such a thing. She was slowed by a bin lorry and indicated right to signal her intentions to overtake. As she began to pass the bin lorry she (for some reason she could not explain) signalled left. The problem was, there was a left turn ahead and a pedestrian further ahead waiting to cross the main road. Because she did not cancel her left indicator after starting to move back to the left, the pedestrian assumed she was turning left and began to cross the road. Fortunately this was all at a slow speed, so no real danger (this time), but it cost her her test.
I will quickly add that there are occasions when a left indicator IS necessary after overtaking, such as when overtaking in the third lane of a motorway and letting drivers in the left lane that you intend to return to the middle (or left) lane.
Perhaps some people don't realise that you can also push the indicator stalk up as well as down? Perhaps there is some superstition (unknown to me) that means it is bad luck to indicate right? This may explain the amount of drivers who turn right at a roundabout without a right indicator, but who then indicate left as they are leaving the roundabout (as opposed to before they leave the roundabout). What's the point?
Not a lot is happening up here. It's all quiet on the Northern front. A couple of test-free weeks, but it gets busy again towards the end of next week.
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| Near Randolph's Leap - The River Findhorn |
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| Matthew and I at the River Findhorn |
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| An Teallach on my way to work last week. |
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| Loch Broom (from Ullapool harbour) this weekend |
Friday, 22 October 2010
And I ask myself "How did I get here?"
Yuck. Wednesday morning in Ullapool. Frost covers my car, sleet is falling steadily and it is the monthly driving test day. I have four pupils taking their test but, unusually, they all have the later test times, meaning I enjoyed a leisurely breakfast at the hotel. After breakfast, I went back up the stairs to my room, then stopped…….. Where was I going? I had gone in completely the wrong direction.
Since I began staying at this hotel, they have invariably put me in a room on one side of the hotel. Last night they put me in a room on the other side. Consequently, after breakfast, my feet simply went where they usually go. My brain had switched off.
Is this an early warning sign of dementia? Will I need to start carrying a satnav just to get me around hotels? I can reassure myself that this is far from being a rare event. Everyone does this from time to time, even when they are driving.
My friend, Bearde, and I both passed our driving test soon after turning 17 and would drive around everywhere, enjoying the freedom that driving provides. I remember numerous times, when Bearde was driving, that we were so engrossed in our conversation that he would start driving somewhere completely different to where we had intended to go. On realising this, I would immediately question his direction, then immediately regret doing so because it would have been fun to see where we ended up.
Today is the first day ‘independent driving’ will be included in a test in Ullapool. But independent driving is nothing new…. Bearde and I were doing it years ago. Except, in our case, our driving was independent of our brains.
(Later, the same day….)
Of my four pupils, three of them passed. So congratulations to Kyle, Taylor and Kim on three nice drives, with only a few minor faults each. A big surprise that my other pupil did not pass - the examiner wasn’t completely satisfied with his observations on the parallel park, but, not being there, I can’t comment.
Ullapool does not have much in the way of road direction signs, so the independent driving section was very straightforward - three sequences of consecutive junctions. Two of my pupils asked me to sit on their tests and both of them were sensible enough to ask for confirmation of the directions when they weren’t sure. Just as they will have to do now they have passed their test, I advised them to know where they are going at each junction in plenty of time.
One of them did have me a little worried immediately before their test. They were going over how to switch between side-lights, dipped headlights, full-beam and fog lights (somewhat unnecessarily, I thought, as they knew all this, but I guess it was just nerves).
“So turning it away from me switches to side-lights, then dipped lights, and if I want full-beam I pull it towards me?”
“Yes.” I confirmed.
“Ok. So what happens if I click the switch up or down?”
I looked at them incredulously, waiting for the penny to drop…… it didn’t.
“Try it and see what happens.” I suggested.
They clicked the switch and immediately flushed with embarrassment as they realised it was the indicator switch.
“I can’t believe I just asked you that?” They apologised.
We’ll discreetly overlook that little ‘blip’ and I wish all three of you happy and safe driving.
Since I began staying at this hotel, they have invariably put me in a room on one side of the hotel. Last night they put me in a room on the other side. Consequently, after breakfast, my feet simply went where they usually go. My brain had switched off.
Is this an early warning sign of dementia? Will I need to start carrying a satnav just to get me around hotels? I can reassure myself that this is far from being a rare event. Everyone does this from time to time, even when they are driving.
My friend, Bearde, and I both passed our driving test soon after turning 17 and would drive around everywhere, enjoying the freedom that driving provides. I remember numerous times, when Bearde was driving, that we were so engrossed in our conversation that he would start driving somewhere completely different to where we had intended to go. On realising this, I would immediately question his direction, then immediately regret doing so because it would have been fun to see where we ended up.
Today is the first day ‘independent driving’ will be included in a test in Ullapool. But independent driving is nothing new…. Bearde and I were doing it years ago. Except, in our case, our driving was independent of our brains.
(Later, the same day….)
Ullapool does not have much in the way of road direction signs, so the independent driving section was very straightforward - three sequences of consecutive junctions. Two of my pupils asked me to sit on their tests and both of them were sensible enough to ask for confirmation of the directions when they weren’t sure. Just as they will have to do now they have passed their test, I advised them to know where they are going at each junction in plenty of time.
One of them did have me a little worried immediately before their test. They were going over how to switch between side-lights, dipped headlights, full-beam and fog lights (somewhat unnecessarily, I thought, as they knew all this, but I guess it was just nerves).
“So turning it away from me switches to side-lights, then dipped lights, and if I want full-beam I pull it towards me?”
“Yes.” I confirmed.
“Ok. So what happens if I click the switch up or down?”
I looked at them incredulously, waiting for the penny to drop…… it didn’t.
“Try it and see what happens.” I suggested.
They clicked the switch and immediately flushed with embarrassment as they realised it was the indicator switch.
“I can’t believe I just asked you that?” They apologised.
We’ll discreetly overlook that little ‘blip’ and I wish all three of you happy and safe driving.
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
I see no ships (or cars or cyclists or furry animals)
Not the best of days. We awoke to see the first fall of snow on the hills; only a dusting on the tops of the highest hills, but an early reminder of the horrors of last winter. However, even the months of snow and ice last year were nothing compared to the sledgehammer-blow Cameron inflicted on our neighbouring town of Forres today by announcing the closure of RAF Kinloss. So many local businesses will suffer as a result and, even worse, there are still rumours about nearby RAF Lossiemouth facing closure, which would be absolutely catastrophic for Elgin and the surrounding area. Cheers David, thanks for that, you #@%#!
They say bad things come in threes and it was so nearly the case today. My pupil had just turned the car around in a very quiet no-through road. We were passing a road on the left when a car came straight out of the road without even a glance our way. I had to slam on the brakes just as they did the same and we both stopped with a matter of inches between the cars. What had fallen as snow on the hills was just rain at sea level, but if the temperature had been just five degrees colder the roads would have been icy and we would never have stopped in time. Why did the other driver emerge from the junction without looking? I suspect it was because, being such a quiet road, he simply assumed that there would be nothing coming from his right.
A while ago I read a post from a driving instructor about one of his pupils who tried to enter a roundabout when a cyclist was coming round. He asked her why she didn’t see the cyclist and she explained “I didn’t expect there to be a cyclist.” This is not as lame as it first sounds. The pupil was so conditioned to looking for oncoming cars that, although her eyes may have seen the cyclist, it didn’t register in her brain.
Don’t believe me? Ok, time for a little experiment then. Do you think you are capable of counting the number of times a group of people pass a basketball between themselves for a short time? Sounds easy doesn’t it? Click on this link and follow the instructions.
They say bad things come in threes and it was so nearly the case today. My pupil had just turned the car around in a very quiet no-through road. We were passing a road on the left when a car came straight out of the road without even a glance our way. I had to slam on the brakes just as they did the same and we both stopped with a matter of inches between the cars. What had fallen as snow on the hills was just rain at sea level, but if the temperature had been just five degrees colder the roads would have been icy and we would never have stopped in time. Why did the other driver emerge from the junction without looking? I suspect it was because, being such a quiet road, he simply assumed that there would be nothing coming from his right.
A while ago I read a post from a driving instructor about one of his pupils who tried to enter a roundabout when a cyclist was coming round. He asked her why she didn’t see the cyclist and she explained “I didn’t expect there to be a cyclist.” This is not as lame as it first sounds. The pupil was so conditioned to looking for oncoming cars that, although her eyes may have seen the cyclist, it didn’t register in her brain.
Don’t believe me? Ok, time for a little experiment then. Do you think you are capable of counting the number of times a group of people pass a basketball between themselves for a short time? Sounds easy doesn’t it? Click on this link and follow the instructions.
Saturday, 16 October 2010
Subterranean Homesick News
There are some very strange people out there. This morning I was driving to Ullapool, enjoying Radio 5Live’s coverage of the amazing Chilean mine rescue. After a while the presenter began reading texts from listeners complaining that there was too much coverage of the event. “Are we going to have our regular programmes interrupted for the next two days, every time a complete stranger is brought out of the mine?” was one such text.
What is wrong with you people?! Thirty-three men were buried, presumed dead for seventeen days, living in fear of death by starvation. Then they are found, all alive and well. And today they are rescued and reunited with their families. What would you rather was on the radio/television? More job losses? More soldiers killed in Afghanistan? More reports of child cruelty/paedophilia? It was so cheering to hear of every single rescue that even the most idiotic driving could not wipe my smile today..… since when did it become ok to drive through a red light because there were no pedestrians crossing? It happened twice today.
And then… more good news! The courts ruled (twice... or was it three times?) that Hicks and Gillette could no longer keep their grubby mitts on Liverpool FC - they were like a pair of rotting octopi desperate to keep their tentacles wrapped around the club. I don’t want to get too carried away by this news; there is no guarantee that any future owner(s) will run the club any better. And then, even if the new owner proves to be the best football club owner ever, it still doesn’t mean the team’s results will improve. Personally, I would rather sacrifice a couple of seasons of mid-table mediocrity (or even non-relegation mediocrity) if the manager (and the club) used that time to develop and promote the younger players.
It rounded off a great 24 hours because, on Tuesday, my pupil, Sarah, passed her driving test with only two minor faults. It was actually her eighth test, but her first with me as her instructor. I can’t take the credit for her driving, she and previous instructors, had already done the hard work there. But she was terrified of the test and I hope that I contributed simply by giving her (justified) confidence in her own abilities. Anyway, very well done Sarah and you must be thrilled that you no longer have to walk four miles to visit your friends (or take another driving test).
What is wrong with you people?! Thirty-three men were buried, presumed dead for seventeen days, living in fear of death by starvation. Then they are found, all alive and well. And today they are rescued and reunited with their families. What would you rather was on the radio/television? More job losses? More soldiers killed in Afghanistan? More reports of child cruelty/paedophilia? It was so cheering to hear of every single rescue that even the most idiotic driving could not wipe my smile today..… since when did it become ok to drive through a red light because there were no pedestrians crossing? It happened twice today.
And then… more good news! The courts ruled (twice... or was it three times?) that Hicks and Gillette could no longer keep their grubby mitts on Liverpool FC - they were like a pair of rotting octopi desperate to keep their tentacles wrapped around the club. I don’t want to get too carried away by this news; there is no guarantee that any future owner(s) will run the club any better. And then, even if the new owner proves to be the best football club owner ever, it still doesn’t mean the team’s results will improve. Personally, I would rather sacrifice a couple of seasons of mid-table mediocrity (or even non-relegation mediocrity) if the manager (and the club) used that time to develop and promote the younger players.
It rounded off a great 24 hours because, on Tuesday, my pupil, Sarah, passed her driving test with only two minor faults. It was actually her eighth test, but her first with me as her instructor. I can’t take the credit for her driving, she and previous instructors, had already done the hard work there. But she was terrified of the test and I hope that I contributed simply by giving her (justified) confidence in her own abilities. Anyway, very well done Sarah and you must be thrilled that you no longer have to walk four miles to visit your friends (or take another driving test).
Sunday, 10 October 2010
Independent driving and squashed frogs
Last Monday the media was full of reports about the changes to the driving test …. cue several pupils calling me with concerns that their test would now be mission impossible. “Is it true that we are going to have to drive where we want for ten minutes; what happens if I don’t know where I want to go?” one of my pupils asked me.
The power of the media. If I ask a pupil in Elgin, for example, to drive to Lossiemouth they’ll do it without me giving directions. Usually, at the end of a lesson, I will ask my pupil to head home. They all do this without having to ask me which way to go. Now, after Monday’s news reports, it has suddenly become a problem.
“What happens if I forget which way to go?” has been a common question. I like to scare them by thinking up outrageous consequences of forgetting the directions. They usually twig that I am joking, but sometimes I have to reassure them that they can ask the examiner to repeat the directions if they are unsure.
I haven’t had any pupils on test this week, so I can only base my advice on information the DSA has provided, but I would assume that the examiner would intervene if he/she saw a test candidate about to indicate the wrong way. If anyone knows different feel free to correct me.
The DSA have provided this video for information, but this video may be more realistic (or not).
Finally, my pupils ask me lots of unusual questions, but one question today was possibly the most strange: “Is it illegal to run over a frog?”
I gravely informed her that, if caught, it would mean a minimum of three years in prison. She gave me a long sideways look.
I was curious, “Why do you ask?”
“Oh, it’s my dad. He’s always running them over.”
So there you are. If you know of any frogs in the west Highlands, tell them to be careful out there.
The power of the media. If I ask a pupil in Elgin, for example, to drive to Lossiemouth they’ll do it without me giving directions. Usually, at the end of a lesson, I will ask my pupil to head home. They all do this without having to ask me which way to go. Now, after Monday’s news reports, it has suddenly become a problem.
“What happens if I forget which way to go?” has been a common question. I like to scare them by thinking up outrageous consequences of forgetting the directions. They usually twig that I am joking, but sometimes I have to reassure them that they can ask the examiner to repeat the directions if they are unsure.
I haven’t had any pupils on test this week, so I can only base my advice on information the DSA has provided, but I would assume that the examiner would intervene if he/she saw a test candidate about to indicate the wrong way. If anyone knows different feel free to correct me.
The DSA have provided this video for information, but this video may be more realistic (or not).
Finally, my pupils ask me lots of unusual questions, but one question today was possibly the most strange: “Is it illegal to run over a frog?”
I gravely informed her that, if caught, it would mean a minimum of three years in prison. She gave me a long sideways look.
I was curious, “Why do you ask?”
“Oh, it’s my dad. He’s always running them over.”
So there you are. If you know of any frogs in the west Highlands, tell them to be careful out there.
Monday, 4 October 2010
Profanity and professionalism
This summer I taught a very bright young girl who attended an expensive private school. She was great company, very polite and the lessons were going well. One day she made a mistake (I can’t remember what) causing her to exclaim “OH F#@K!!”. Now, that’s a word that has lost its impact through ubiquity, but, coming from her mouth, it was a minor shock, so I told her I couldn’t possibly accept such language in my car - she was smart enough to realise that I was not being serious. The following week I was talking to her mum on the phone and she said that her daughter had ‘confessed’ her sin. “So much for all that education!” she laughed.
She was not the only one. It is far from rare to have pupils who seem quiet and polite, then something happens and triggers a torrent of expletives to erupt from their mouths. On the whole, they are very polite and often apologise afterwards. We then have a little chat and I explain that other drivers and pedestrians are not perfect and may make the odd mistake from time to time. And if it is their own mistake that has caused the outburst I reassure them that they are learning to drive and these mistakes will diminish. The best thing is to accept mistakes; accept that drivers will get far too close behind us, accept that pedestrians will step out in front of them, accept that buses will pull out THEN indicate, accept that cars will pull out dangerously in front of us for fear of being stuck behind a learner driver, and accept that, for the rest of their driving life, they will make mistakes. Once they realise that, the actions of others are easier to anticipate and driving becomes a lot less stressful.
“HYPOCRITE!” you may think, if you have read my previous post. Fair enough, I never said I was perfect.
Actually, it was my previous post that caused me to write this. A few days ago a lady called me and asked if I would teach her daughter to drive. After discussing the basic details she asked if it was possible to pay by card. Well, until a couple of weeks ago, it wasn’t. Cash, cheques, gold, bed & breakfast, malt whisky, even buckets of mushrooms I would accept, but plastic I couldn’t. However, now I have a website with the facility to buy lessons online I was happy to tell her that she could go to www.farledrivingschool.co.uk and pay for her daughter’s lessons by card. The next day I received an email informing me that she had bought a block of lessons for her daughter. I then went to the statistical website that analyses who is looking at my own website (and this blog). Amongst the information it provides is which website they were previously looking at (such as which search engine) and which website they went to next. From this I saw that this lady, this customer, had read my last post where I made it clear what I thought of the chap who led me to think he was going one way, then went the other. Oops! She has entrusted me to teach her daughter how to drive and how to react to other drivers and then she reads that.
So perhaps I should be a bit more careful, a bit more professional about what I write here. After all, I have provided a link from my ‘professional’ website to this blog, so I have to expect that pupils and customers may sometimes read these pages.
I hope you understand. Driving tuition is my business and I must be professional. So, if that means this blog is more sanitised, more bland, then that’s the way it has to be.
Right, I’m off now to see how many goals my mighty Liverpool have put past little Blackpool.
OH, FOR F#@K’S SAKE!!!
She was not the only one. It is far from rare to have pupils who seem quiet and polite, then something happens and triggers a torrent of expletives to erupt from their mouths. On the whole, they are very polite and often apologise afterwards. We then have a little chat and I explain that other drivers and pedestrians are not perfect and may make the odd mistake from time to time. And if it is their own mistake that has caused the outburst I reassure them that they are learning to drive and these mistakes will diminish. The best thing is to accept mistakes; accept that drivers will get far too close behind us, accept that pedestrians will step out in front of them, accept that buses will pull out THEN indicate, accept that cars will pull out dangerously in front of us for fear of being stuck behind a learner driver, and accept that, for the rest of their driving life, they will make mistakes. Once they realise that, the actions of others are easier to anticipate and driving becomes a lot less stressful.
“HYPOCRITE!” you may think, if you have read my previous post. Fair enough, I never said I was perfect.
Actually, it was my previous post that caused me to write this. A few days ago a lady called me and asked if I would teach her daughter to drive. After discussing the basic details she asked if it was possible to pay by card. Well, until a couple of weeks ago, it wasn’t. Cash, cheques, gold, bed & breakfast, malt whisky, even buckets of mushrooms I would accept, but plastic I couldn’t. However, now I have a website with the facility to buy lessons online I was happy to tell her that she could go to www.farledrivingschool.co.uk and pay for her daughter’s lessons by card. The next day I received an email informing me that she had bought a block of lessons for her daughter. I then went to the statistical website that analyses who is looking at my own website (and this blog). Amongst the information it provides is which website they were previously looking at (such as which search engine) and which website they went to next. From this I saw that this lady, this customer, had read my last post where I made it clear what I thought of the chap who led me to think he was going one way, then went the other. Oops! She has entrusted me to teach her daughter how to drive and how to react to other drivers and then she reads that.
So perhaps I should be a bit more careful, a bit more professional about what I write here. After all, I have provided a link from my ‘professional’ website to this blog, so I have to expect that pupils and customers may sometimes read these pages.
I hope you understand. Driving tuition is my business and I must be professional. So, if that means this blog is more sanitised, more bland, then that’s the way it has to be.
Right, I’m off now to see how many goals my mighty Liverpool have put past little Blackpool.
OH, FOR F#@K’S SAKE!!!
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
Do as I say AND as I do.
If you are thinking about becoming a driving instructor, you may want to have a good look at the way you drive, and not just because the second part of your Driving Instructor qualification is an extended driving test.
When I began my training to become a driving instructor I had a 2 litre V6 24-valve sports carwhich I absolutely loved. I loved the way hugged the corners and I loved the ease with which it could overtake anything in its path. The trouble was, the way I drove was NOT how I should be teaching pupils to drive. In other words, the way I was driving was not just illegal, but wrong: Mirrors? No need - there wasn't likely to be much catching up with me. Speed limits? No problem, I would just do the same as everyone else and slow down for the speed cameras.
When I was with my trainer, however, I did everything a driver is supposed to do. For an experienced driver, this is not difficult. It involves the correct use of mirrors, especially before any change of speed or direction; correct use of signals at the appropriate time; progressive braking and accelerating with sympathetic use of the gears; and constant and effective observation, with awareness and anticipation of others. Then, when training had finished, I would get in my own car and revert to my bad ways.
What's wrong with that? My driving didn't cause anyone any harm, so what's the problem? The problem is, learners, by definition, are not experienced, so they have to consider every single movement of their eyes, hands and feet. Their instructor then, has to be a few seconds ahead of them and thinking 'what should they be doing now?' before the pupil (hopefully) does it. The best way for me to improve my instruction was to improve my driving. I'm not saying I started driving like a learner, but I started driving exactly as I wanted my learners to drive. I kept my sports car (for a while), but I began driving to the standard which would be good enough to pass test after test without fault. I still drive like that, much to the surprise of people who had experience of how I used to drive. In fact, every day, I am always thinking of how to improve my driving. Then, by thinking like that, I will be looking for my pupils to do the same.
Despite all my claims to (now) be a good, safe driver, even I get caught out sometimes.
When approaching a junction, you should approach at a speed which affords you ample time to decide whether it is safe to progress. However, you should not be going so slowly that it causes confusion to other road users. This morning, I was heading along the A96 into Inverness. The speed limit is 50 mph; road, traffic and weather conditions were good, so I was doing 50mph and in 5th gear. Approaching the retail park roundabout - a 3-lane roundabout with good visibility - I checked my mirrors (nothing behind), braked gently and selected 3rd gear as I watched a car approaching from the other side of the roundabout. It was ok, he was approaching in his far left lane, with no signal, so I had to assume he was going straight ahead. Just as I decided it was safe to proceed he swung round to the right so I had to brake....
"STUPID, DROOL-SWIGGING SCROTAL-SMEAR!!! IDIOTIC, SPHINCTER-PLUCKING PUBE-FLOSS!!!" As you may have guessed, I was not a happy bunny.
I just don't get it. What is so difficult about extending your left finger and clicking the right indicator on? And even if your indicators have broken (as they often seem to do on taxis and Audis), is it really so complicated understanding that approaching in the right lane (as opposed to left) would make a right turn so much more easy (and obvious). I teach my pupils not to trust other vehicles' indicators, but to watch the vehicle's position and where their wheels are pointing. In this case, the (lack of) indicators and the fact that they were in the far left lane clearly suggested that they were NOT turning right. I'm so glad I was driving, and not a pupil. If a learner had been driving, they would subsequently have approached roundabouts at excessively slow speeds, causing potential confusion and frustration for following vehicles.
As I have said before (certainly to my pupils), 'EXPECT other road users and pedestrians to do stupid things - because they will'. But there is a limit. I can't start approaching roundabouts expecting everyone in the outside lane to be stupid and turn right at the last moment. Therefore, I can't start teaching my pupils that.
While I'm having a little rant about setting an example, I will return to my held opinions on reference points. A couple of days ago, I had my first lesson with a new pupil. She had moved from a different area where she had undertaken a 30 hour intensive driving course. Her general driving was good, so I had a look at her reversing manoeuvres. We stopped before a turning on the left and I asked her to go past it, then reverse into the road. She checked her mirrors and blind-area, then drove past the road, having a glance into the road as she did so....
"Aargh!" She groaned.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I forgot to count the curbs."
"Sorry?"
"I forgot to count the curbstones. My instructor told me that if there are lots of curved curbstones then it will be half a turn of the wheel. If there are only a few curved curbstones it will be full left-lock. And if there are about 7 - 9 curbstones in the bend then I will need to turn the wheel about three-quarters of a turn."
COME ON!?! Am I supposed to believe that her instructor would count curbstones in a bend before he reversed into it? Of course he wouldn't! He would just drive past the road, then reverse around the corner using regular checks in his rear windows and left mirror to assess whether to steer closer to or further from the curb. And if we (instructors) would do this, then should we not be teaching our pupils the same? Yes, yes, I agree that 'reference points' are a useful tool, and should not be ruled out, but can you imagine a pupil going for his/her test and panicking because they forgot to count the curbstones, or because they could not remember whether it was half a turn or three-quarters of a turn? Why make things difficult for them? When going forward you turn where you want the front of the car to go. When reversing you turn in the direction you want the back of the car to go. That's it. Simple.
On a final note about instructors driving as they would like their pupils to drive, I was teaching in Inverness today when the RED driving school car in front of us stopped at a traffic light, way over the area reserved for cycles. I was then gobsmacked to see that the car was being driven by the instructor. D'oh!
When I began my training to become a driving instructor I had a 2 litre V6 24-valve sports carwhich I absolutely loved. I loved the way hugged the corners and I loved the ease with which it could overtake anything in its path. The trouble was, the way I drove was NOT how I should be teaching pupils to drive. In other words, the way I was driving was not just illegal, but wrong: Mirrors? No need - there wasn't likely to be much catching up with me. Speed limits? No problem, I would just do the same as everyone else and slow down for the speed cameras.
When I was with my trainer, however, I did everything a driver is supposed to do. For an experienced driver, this is not difficult. It involves the correct use of mirrors, especially before any change of speed or direction; correct use of signals at the appropriate time; progressive braking and accelerating with sympathetic use of the gears; and constant and effective observation, with awareness and anticipation of others. Then, when training had finished, I would get in my own car and revert to my bad ways.
What's wrong with that? My driving didn't cause anyone any harm, so what's the problem? The problem is, learners, by definition, are not experienced, so they have to consider every single movement of their eyes, hands and feet. Their instructor then, has to be a few seconds ahead of them and thinking 'what should they be doing now?' before the pupil (hopefully) does it. The best way for me to improve my instruction was to improve my driving. I'm not saying I started driving like a learner, but I started driving exactly as I wanted my learners to drive. I kept my sports car (for a while), but I began driving to the standard which would be good enough to pass test after test without fault. I still drive like that, much to the surprise of people who had experience of how I used to drive. In fact, every day, I am always thinking of how to improve my driving. Then, by thinking like that, I will be looking for my pupils to do the same.
Despite all my claims to (now) be a good, safe driver, even I get caught out sometimes.
When approaching a junction, you should approach at a speed which affords you ample time to decide whether it is safe to progress. However, you should not be going so slowly that it causes confusion to other road users. This morning, I was heading along the A96 into Inverness. The speed limit is 50 mph; road, traffic and weather conditions were good, so I was doing 50mph and in 5th gear. Approaching the retail park roundabout - a 3-lane roundabout with good visibility - I checked my mirrors (nothing behind), braked gently and selected 3rd gear as I watched a car approaching from the other side of the roundabout. It was ok, he was approaching in his far left lane, with no signal, so I had to assume he was going straight ahead. Just as I decided it was safe to proceed he swung round to the right so I had to brake....
"STUPID, DROOL-SWIGGING SCROTAL-SMEAR!!! IDIOTIC, SPHINCTER-PLUCKING PUBE-FLOSS!!!" As you may have guessed, I was not a happy bunny.
I just don't get it. What is so difficult about extending your left finger and clicking the right indicator on? And even if your indicators have broken (as they often seem to do on taxis and Audis), is it really so complicated understanding that approaching in the right lane (as opposed to left) would make a right turn so much more easy (and obvious). I teach my pupils not to trust other vehicles' indicators, but to watch the vehicle's position and where their wheels are pointing. In this case, the (lack of) indicators and the fact that they were in the far left lane clearly suggested that they were NOT turning right. I'm so glad I was driving, and not a pupil. If a learner had been driving, they would subsequently have approached roundabouts at excessively slow speeds, causing potential confusion and frustration for following vehicles.
As I have said before (certainly to my pupils), 'EXPECT other road users and pedestrians to do stupid things - because they will'. But there is a limit. I can't start approaching roundabouts expecting everyone in the outside lane to be stupid and turn right at the last moment. Therefore, I can't start teaching my pupils that.
While I'm having a little rant about setting an example, I will return to my held opinions on reference points. A couple of days ago, I had my first lesson with a new pupil. She had moved from a different area where she had undertaken a 30 hour intensive driving course. Her general driving was good, so I had a look at her reversing manoeuvres. We stopped before a turning on the left and I asked her to go past it, then reverse into the road. She checked her mirrors and blind-area, then drove past the road, having a glance into the road as she did so....
"Aargh!" She groaned.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I forgot to count the curbs."
"Sorry?"
"I forgot to count the curbstones. My instructor told me that if there are lots of curved curbstones then it will be half a turn of the wheel. If there are only a few curved curbstones it will be full left-lock. And if there are about 7 - 9 curbstones in the bend then I will need to turn the wheel about three-quarters of a turn."
COME ON!?! Am I supposed to believe that her instructor would count curbstones in a bend before he reversed into it? Of course he wouldn't! He would just drive past the road, then reverse around the corner using regular checks in his rear windows and left mirror to assess whether to steer closer to or further from the curb. And if we (instructors) would do this, then should we not be teaching our pupils the same? Yes, yes, I agree that 'reference points' are a useful tool, and should not be ruled out, but can you imagine a pupil going for his/her test and panicking because they forgot to count the curbstones, or because they could not remember whether it was half a turn or three-quarters of a turn? Why make things difficult for them? When going forward you turn where you want the front of the car to go. When reversing you turn in the direction you want the back of the car to go. That's it. Simple.
On a final note about instructors driving as they would like their pupils to drive, I was teaching in Inverness today when the RED driving school car in front of us stopped at a traffic light, way over the area reserved for cycles. I was then gobsmacked to see that the car was being driven by the instructor. D'oh!
Sunday, 26 September 2010
Cobblers
I’m not too sure which is worse, Inverness being thumped 6 - 0 by Celtic, or Liverpool losing to Northampton. Actually, I do know… Liverpool was far worse. Inverness losing heavily to Celtic was always a possibility. Still, congratulations to the Cobblers, but it is not the best time to be a Liverpool fan at the moment.
The week had started so well too.
On Tuesday, Sandy had his second attempt at his driving test. Despite the fact that he had almost all his lessons in Ullapool, I was very confident that he would pass first time in Inverness last month. But, for some reason, unknown to him or I, he failed to see a red traffic light and the examiner had to tell him to brake. Anyway, no such problems this time and he breezed round the test, passing with just one minor fault. An excellent result. I’m still waiting for my first pupil to pass with no faults, but only one in 10,000 people manage that apparently.
Off to Ullapool on Wednesday for three full days of tests and lessons. I have posted enough blow by blow accounts of Ullapool test days for now. Exciting for my pupils and me, but yawnsville for everyone else. Still, I am proud to report that I had six pupils on test, and four of them passed (with barely a dozen minor faults between them). So congratulations to Dean, Kerry, Tracey and Stuart.
The fact that Ullapool only has one test day a month sometimes gives an ‘end of school year’ feeling to test days; pupils who have been with me several months finally ‘graduate’ and I’m usually slightly sad to see them go. The days following then seemed like the start of a new school year as three brand new pupils started with me.
The week had started so well too.
On Tuesday, Sandy had his second attempt at his driving test. Despite the fact that he had almost all his lessons in Ullapool, I was very confident that he would pass first time in Inverness last month. But, for some reason, unknown to him or I, he failed to see a red traffic light and the examiner had to tell him to brake. Anyway, no such problems this time and he breezed round the test, passing with just one minor fault. An excellent result. I’m still waiting for my first pupil to pass with no faults, but only one in 10,000 people manage that apparently.
Off to Ullapool on Wednesday for three full days of tests and lessons. I have posted enough blow by blow accounts of Ullapool test days for now. Exciting for my pupils and me, but yawnsville for everyone else. Still, I am proud to report that I had six pupils on test, and four of them passed (with barely a dozen minor faults between them). So congratulations to Dean, Kerry, Tracey and Stuart.
The fact that Ullapool only has one test day a month sometimes gives an ‘end of school year’ feeling to test days; pupils who have been with me several months finally ‘graduate’ and I’m usually slightly sad to see them go. The days following then seemed like the start of a new school year as three brand new pupils started with me.
It’s now Saturday night and I’m off to bed as another two new pupils start tomorrow. To put the cherry on the cake, Inverness beat St. Mirren away and Liverpool managed to avoid another defeat (just). I’ll leave you with (three-quarters of) Ullapool’s Class of September 2010.
Saturday, 18 September 2010
Say 'cheese'.
Not long after that Jane and I were riding the ponies through Culbin Forest, a 9-mile wide stretch of pristine forest between Nairn and Findhorn Bay, that lies a mile north, between our house and the sea. As usual, Jane was riding Dave (she only bought him because he was called 'Dave'), a part-bred Arab, and I was riding Lachie, our Highland pony (because he has sturdy little legs and take my weight). Although Jane is always out on the ponies, come rain or shine, I have to confess I don't join her as much as I should. Therefore, as we came out of the forest, and the gentle waves of the Moray Firth lay ahead, I took a few photos of Jane and Dave, then passed the camera to her so that she could capture this rare moment of me riding Lachie. Unfortunately, just as I passed the camera to her, a wave crashed on the shore causing Lachie to spook a little and the camera dropped to the floor. Zut alors, caramba and dagnabbit!
I didn't get around to replacing that camera and settled for taking the odd photo with my mobile phone, a phone so old that I have to ask people to sit still for three minutes during exposure. There was no rush to replace the camera, even when everyone I know on Facebook and Twitter seemed to be replacing their profile pictures daily (apart from Helen, who, like me, thinks that a 30+ year-old photo of half of her face will suffice). Even with this blog, I have been quite content to pilfer, pillage, plunder and purloin various images from the web to add a dash of colour to these pages (including the photos in this post).
As you may know, I have dabbled in creating my own website during the last eighteen months. Recently I managed to secure the domain name 'Farle.co.uk' for free, but had difficulties getting the layout I wanted. Finally, I decided to buy a website package that would allow me to do what I wanted with the pages. I think the name (Farledrivingschool) is a wee bit long-winded, but it has been (comparatively) easy for me to set up. It is far from finished yet, but I tinker with it from time to time and, one day, I will finish it.
The last couple of days I have even managed to add a facility for people to buy lessons online. Jane was very dubious about this and I guess I was not expecting a deluge of new customers as a result. Therefore, I was thrilled to receive an email this morning, informing me that someone (new) had paid, via PayPal, for a block of ten hours through my website. I must reassure you that PayPal is not linked in any way with the current visit of the Pope.
One thing that the website lacks (apart from 'professionalism', 'clarity', 'interest' and 'coherence') is pretty pictures. That settled it; I had to invest in a camera. I read all the reviews, changed my mind, re-read all the reviews and finally plumped for a Panasonic Lumix TZ8. A lot cheaper than my old Minolta SLR, but, blimey, it has ten times as many features and modes. I started reading the manual, but fell asleep somewhere around page 527.
Of course, just when I am eager to rush out and take glorious photo after glorious photo, the weather has gone from dull to duller. There are a couple of photogenic puddles outside I could practice on, but I am going to be patient and wait for optimum light conditions before creating my photo masterpieces. Just don't hold your breath.
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