After my less than comfortable excursion to Gairloch, it was a welcome relief to get back to my own pupils in Ullapool. It was like putting an Aretha Frankin CD on after spending the morning listening to X Factor auditions.
The next day I had four pupils taking their test:
We started at 7.30am. My first pupil first had driving lessons twenty odd years ago, but had been put off driving until one of her colleagues recommended me to her. I think she had reached the stage where she assumed she would never drive. As a result, she seemed in deep shock when she passed, first time, with just four driver faults. Very well-done Karen. Have fun with your new Suzuki and thank you very much for the bottle of Laphroaig.
Lawrence had the 9.37am test and also passed at his first attempt. Surprising how easy driving is when you give yourself time.
A wee bit of pressure on me for the 10.44am test. A few months ago Effie, one of our crack quiz team, said that her son's girlfriend had booked her test and could I help her out? Well I would be delighted to help, but would it affect our quiz team dynamic if we weren't successful?
I eased the pressure by going to The Tea Store for a Big Hot Roll and a pot of tea. The manageress and I chatted about learning to drive and it transpired that she had learned to drive near where I grew up. When the conversation came around to my pub, The Cross Keys in Totternhoe, she said "I used to dance there!" She then went on to explain that she was one of the founder members of Caddington Blues, a Morris Dancing troupe.
"You should found a Morris Dancing troupe here." I suggested.
"Hmmm. Maybe we could do something for the Ullapool dance festival next year? So I can count on your participation?"
I hadn't expected that, "Er..... er....... Sure. Yes. Count me in."
We shall see. Meanwhile, if anyone else fancies jigging about with sticks, bells, funny hats and hankies, then make yourself known at The Tea Store.
Tea and Big Hot Roll polished off, I walked back to find that Julia had also passed with just four driver faults. Very well done Julia, good luck with your interview (which you can now drive to.
At the start of October I got an email from someone asking if they could have a semi-intensive course with me in Ullapool. She would be moving back to Glasgow in January and hoped to pass her test before then. She confessed that she had initially approached another instructor in Ullapool but he only offered her lessons on the very days she said she couldn't do. Good for me though. She put the time and effort in but, unfortunately, she couldn't get a test in Ullapool, so she booked her test in Inverness. We drove to Inverness (only her third lesson there) and, despite going a different direction to that which the examiner asked, passed well with 5 driver faults. Very well deserved Zoe. See you in two weeks for your Pass Plus.
A very successful day then; four tests and four passes AND an invitation to become a Morris Dancer!
The transition from Bob to Noel at the Argyll quiz was seamless. It was as though Noel had been doing it for years. However, we have been on a bit of a winning run recently and, with one round to go, we were half a point behind. The last round is the Wipeout round. You get points for every correct answer, but if you don't know an answer you should leave it blank because one wrong answer wipes out your score for that round. The temptation though is that, if you answer all ten correctly, you get five bonus points. We were pretty confident about 8 of the 10, but we decided to gamble on going for the whole lot. Which company has a black 'M' in a white circle as their logo? We put Morrisons, but it turned out to be Motorola. We therefore wiped out and finished fourth. FOURTH?!?!? 'Bring back Bob' I say!
Now I can normally sleep through anything. Many years ago, when I was running a pub, I had such a bad hangover one day that I was convinced I was going to die. Unfortunately, the door to my flat was blocked by a table of people in the restaurant, so I couldn't go and die in the comfort of my bed. I staggered through to the lovely cool cellar and the only space I could find to lie down was on top of a chest freezer. I thankfully fell asleep and the staff and my mother took great pleasure in showing the pub regulars me sleeping on the freezer. Thursday night however, not even I could sleep through the howling wind, rain, thunder and lightning in Ullapool. The next day it continued. In addition, we also had snow down to low hill levels, bright sunshine, sleet and thick hail. Sometimes it was so loud we could not hear ourselves talk in the car. Winter was on its way. But it was reassuring to see the snowploughs already out.
Saturday morning I had my fifth test of the week, ok, sixth, I was trying to forget the one in Gairloch. This one also in Inverness, and another first-timer. My pupil asked the examiner if I could sit in the back during his test. A bit of a nervous start, but no errors. We were coming downhill on Tower Road, down to the T-junction with Barn Church Road. It's a bit of an unusual junction; turning right is controlled by traffic lights, but turning left is a give-way. My pupil was asked to turn left. The traffic lights (for turning right) were red, but I could see that it was safe for him to proceed at the junction. He began slowing to a stop. "Noooo!" I thought. Luckily, there was nothing behind us or he would certainly have incurred a serious fault. He realised, just in time, that he should be ignoring the lights, and only picked up a driver (minor) fault for 'planning'. He only had one other driver fault and thus passed with just two faults. So, apart from those couple of seconds where you had me squirming, it was a very good drive. Congratulations Robert, enjoy all that extra time you will have now you don't have to rely on public transport.
It's always a bit strange when you spend time with people such as Robert, Zoe, Julia, Lawrence and Karen, and then go on to pupils who are still struggling with aspects of their driving. The thing is to treat each person as an individual. Solutions for one pupil may not work for another, that is where the core competencies are so vital (for those of you doing Pt 3 training). It may take a matter of weeks (such as in Zoe's case), or it may take months, but they all get there in the end.
Sunday 27 November 2011
Thursday 24 November 2011
Aural torture
The other day I was driving home, listening to the radio, when I heard a fantastic track. I didn't catch the title, but it was by Etta James. I love her version of 'I would rather go blind' and am now kicking myself for not catching the song title - it has been ages since I have heard something that had such an impact on me.
Amazingly, the next night, another track also had a big impact on me. Unfortunately, not in a good way. We were watching BBC's Children in need and they introduced 'The Collective' performing the 2011 Children in need single, Teardrop. My jaw dropped as 'The Collective' proceeded to massacre Massive Attack's song. Ok, I may be a tad biased, as Elisabeth Fraser was the vocalist on the original, but Tulisa's vocal was unbelievably bad in comparison. The next morning I was waiting at a garage when the same track came on the radio. On the single Tulisa's voice was slightly improved by autotune, but I was almost hopping round in anguish, being forced to listen to it.
Saturday night was apparently 'movies night' on The X Factor. One of them sang a cover of Aretha Franklin's Think, from The Blues Brothers (and also, apparently, from Bridget Jones' diary). Tulisa, now in her role as 'singing judge' declared that it was "a bad song choice" because 'she had never heard that track' causing my jaw to drop for the second consecutive night. It was a bit like a film critic saying they had never heard of Jaws.
Wednesday night saw the end of an era when Bob hosted his last ever quiz at The Argyll in Ullapool. He is moving to Edinburgh in the pursuit of true love and we wish him well. Apparently Noel will take over the mic, I wonder whether he will continue the actress/bishop 'jokes' and the abuse of teams with unimaginative names.
Monday afternoon I received a text enquiry from someone asking if I gave lessons in Gairloch. The short answer is 'no, I don't.' Gairloch is 92 miles (over 2 hours) from me and 56 miles (an hour and a quarter) from Ullapool. I have taken pupils for test there when they have been unable to get a test in Ullapool, but I have to charge them for every hour, so it's not a cheap option. The person then called me and said that he had seen on this blog that I have taken pupils for test in Gairloch. I explained the logistics and he said that he would be willing to pay for my time because 'his test was the next morning'! I politely declined and suggested he call Kenny, the only instructor I knew of that covered Gairloch.
A while later he called back and said that Kenny could not help. I did not have to be in Ullapool until 12pm, so, with his test being at 9.37am, it was just possible to get over to Gairloch, let him take his test, and get to Ullapool in time for my afternoon lessons, but it would mean setting off at 6am, so I calculated what it would cost him. But, before we agreed, I needed to know if he was ready for his test. So I quizzed him on his experience.
"I have had over 30 hours of lessons in London and I have taken one test, but I failed because I didn't cancel my indicator. And now I am in Gairloch."
Now, I have plenty of experience of driving in London and some experience of driving in Gairloch. I thought that, if he had been close to passing his test in London, he should be ok to take his test in Gairloch.
"Ok," I agreed, "I should be in Gairloch about 8.15 - 8.30, giving us a good hour to have a look at anything you're not sure about."
"I'm staying in Inverness tonight. Can you pick me up there?"
"That's fine," Inverness is on the way to Gairloch from where I stay, "I'll be there at 7am."
So, 7 o'clock Tuesday morning, I arrive at the address in Inverness, check his licence and tell him that he can drive, to give him a chance to get used to the car. We set off and..... something's not quite right.....
He can't drive...... Ok, an exaggeration. He can drive a bit, but not well. And certainly not well enough to pass his test. Do I refuse to take him and waste my entire morning? Or do I carry on, give him as much instruction as I can in the next two hours? It is too late now to question him further on his previous driving experience, I just have to teach him what I can.
"So what brought you to Gairloch from London?" I ask.
"To take my driving test."
"Yes, but why did you move to Gairloch?"
"No, I live in London. But I see that Gairloch has the highest test pass rate in the country, so I decide to take my test there."
I wanted to bang my head on a wall. He had come all the way to the Highlands to take his test (in an area he had never even seen before), purely because he had learned Gairloch had a high pass rate. He had not considered that it might be because Kenny might be a very good instructor. Kenny gets sick of other instructors bringing their pupils to Gairloch for a supposedly easier test, and I don't blame him. Yet, here I was, conned into doing the same.
As we neared Gairloch, the hills became steeper and he couldn't cope with it. He couldn't hear the engine struggling in 5th gear and reacted far too slow to my instruction to change down. We came to a stalling stop - on a 60 mph road.
I'll cut the story short: We got to Gairloch. I had done my best, but his driving was still poor. I shouldn't present someone for test unless I am confident they are going to be safe and in control without me. It's a waste of everyone's time and not a pleasant situation for the examiner (even if my car does have dual controls - the examiner does not want to use them). I was kicking myself for agreeing to let him take his test without an assessment of his driving. I did the only thing I could do. I hid. I took my ADI licence out of the window and removed my signage. We drove to the narrow lane where the test starts from. I told him to go into the fire-station to meet the examiner and I would return at the end of the test. So, while the poor examiner was presumably subjected to 40 minutes of buttock-clenching discomfort, I sat in the cosy Mountain Coffee cafe, enjoying a fine coffee and a delicious (and substantial) ginger and date scone (I had hoped for one of their excellent marmalade scones, but they had sold out).
Eventually, I watched my car return and I trudged up the hill to see how he had got on. 'You never know', I thought, 'he may have pulled it all together'. I was deluded. Although he seemed quite happy that he had 'Only got 11 driving faults. That's less than last time', he had 3 serious faults (steering, gears and approach speed to junctions - poor examiner).
I told him where he could catch the bus back to Inverness but he asked if he could go with me to Ullapool. I had no immediate reason to refuse. Damn. Big mistake.
His initial acceptance of the test result soon changed to one of anger.
"I can't believe he failed me."
I try to be diplomatic, "Perhaps you didn't quite convince him that you will be fine on the roads?" I suggested, imagining white terror on the examiner's face.
"But how can he fail me in Gairloch? It has a 70% pass rate."
I tried to explain that that meant 30% of people fail, but I didn't add that most of those are probably much better drivers than him. But I am glad he failed. Coming all the way to Inverness and Gairloch (plus my fee) would not have been cheap. He obviously thought it would be a cheap way of obtaining his licence, which backfired badly. However, I admit that I was wrong to take him without assessing his driving first and I apologise to the examiner.
The drive from Gairloch to Ullapool is breathtaking. It was a beautiful clear day and the drive should have been a real pleasure. Unfortunately, he spent most of the journey ignoring the scenery and telling me how wrong the examiner was and how it didn't matter anyway because he had friends who could get him a dodgy Zimbabwean driving licence which would be valid in the UK. I am not au fait with Zimbabwe/UK licence matters so I didn't comment - I'm sure he would not have listened to any alternative I may have suggested, such as 'take more driving lessons and get your licence legally'.
Thankfully, he started to fall asleep after an hour, so I tried to drive ultra carefully so as to not wake him and listen to more rubbish. I had already heard enough rubbish this week, whether from deluded learner drivers or X Factor judges.
Amazingly, the next night, another track also had a big impact on me. Unfortunately, not in a good way. We were watching BBC's Children in need and they introduced 'The Collective' performing the 2011 Children in need single, Teardrop. My jaw dropped as 'The Collective' proceeded to massacre Massive Attack's song. Ok, I may be a tad biased, as Elisabeth Fraser was the vocalist on the original, but Tulisa's vocal was unbelievably bad in comparison. The next morning I was waiting at a garage when the same track came on the radio. On the single Tulisa's voice was slightly improved by autotune, but I was almost hopping round in anguish, being forced to listen to it.
Saturday night was apparently 'movies night' on The X Factor. One of them sang a cover of Aretha Franklin's Think, from The Blues Brothers (and also, apparently, from Bridget Jones' diary). Tulisa, now in her role as 'singing judge' declared that it was "a bad song choice" because 'she had never heard that track' causing my jaw to drop for the second consecutive night. It was a bit like a film critic saying they had never heard of Jaws.
Wednesday night saw the end of an era when Bob hosted his last ever quiz at The Argyll in Ullapool. He is moving to Edinburgh in the pursuit of true love and we wish him well. Apparently Noel will take over the mic, I wonder whether he will continue the actress/bishop 'jokes' and the abuse of teams with unimaginative names.
Monday afternoon I received a text enquiry from someone asking if I gave lessons in Gairloch. The short answer is 'no, I don't.' Gairloch is 92 miles (over 2 hours) from me and 56 miles (an hour and a quarter) from Ullapool. I have taken pupils for test there when they have been unable to get a test in Ullapool, but I have to charge them for every hour, so it's not a cheap option. The person then called me and said that he had seen on this blog that I have taken pupils for test in Gairloch. I explained the logistics and he said that he would be willing to pay for my time because 'his test was the next morning'! I politely declined and suggested he call Kenny, the only instructor I knew of that covered Gairloch.
A while later he called back and said that Kenny could not help. I did not have to be in Ullapool until 12pm, so, with his test being at 9.37am, it was just possible to get over to Gairloch, let him take his test, and get to Ullapool in time for my afternoon lessons, but it would mean setting off at 6am, so I calculated what it would cost him. But, before we agreed, I needed to know if he was ready for his test. So I quizzed him on his experience.
"I have had over 30 hours of lessons in London and I have taken one test, but I failed because I didn't cancel my indicator. And now I am in Gairloch."
Now, I have plenty of experience of driving in London and some experience of driving in Gairloch. I thought that, if he had been close to passing his test in London, he should be ok to take his test in Gairloch.
"Ok," I agreed, "I should be in Gairloch about 8.15 - 8.30, giving us a good hour to have a look at anything you're not sure about."
"I'm staying in Inverness tonight. Can you pick me up there?"
"That's fine," Inverness is on the way to Gairloch from where I stay, "I'll be there at 7am."
So, 7 o'clock Tuesday morning, I arrive at the address in Inverness, check his licence and tell him that he can drive, to give him a chance to get used to the car. We set off and..... something's not quite right.....
He can't drive...... Ok, an exaggeration. He can drive a bit, but not well. And certainly not well enough to pass his test. Do I refuse to take him and waste my entire morning? Or do I carry on, give him as much instruction as I can in the next two hours? It is too late now to question him further on his previous driving experience, I just have to teach him what I can.
"So what brought you to Gairloch from London?" I ask.
"To take my driving test."
"Yes, but why did you move to Gairloch?"
"No, I live in London. But I see that Gairloch has the highest test pass rate in the country, so I decide to take my test there."
I wanted to bang my head on a wall. He had come all the way to the Highlands to take his test (in an area he had never even seen before), purely because he had learned Gairloch had a high pass rate. He had not considered that it might be because Kenny might be a very good instructor. Kenny gets sick of other instructors bringing their pupils to Gairloch for a supposedly easier test, and I don't blame him. Yet, here I was, conned into doing the same.
 |
| Gairloch coos |
I'll cut the story short: We got to Gairloch. I had done my best, but his driving was still poor. I shouldn't present someone for test unless I am confident they are going to be safe and in control without me. It's a waste of everyone's time and not a pleasant situation for the examiner (even if my car does have dual controls - the examiner does not want to use them). I was kicking myself for agreeing to let him take his test without an assessment of his driving. I did the only thing I could do. I hid. I took my ADI licence out of the window and removed my signage. We drove to the narrow lane where the test starts from. I told him to go into the fire-station to meet the examiner and I would return at the end of the test. So, while the poor examiner was presumably subjected to 40 minutes of buttock-clenching discomfort, I sat in the cosy Mountain Coffee cafe, enjoying a fine coffee and a delicious (and substantial) ginger and date scone (I had hoped for one of their excellent marmalade scones, but they had sold out).
Eventually, I watched my car return and I trudged up the hill to see how he had got on. 'You never know', I thought, 'he may have pulled it all together'. I was deluded. Although he seemed quite happy that he had 'Only got 11 driving faults. That's less than last time', he had 3 serious faults (steering, gears and approach speed to junctions - poor examiner).
I told him where he could catch the bus back to Inverness but he asked if he could go with me to Ullapool. I had no immediate reason to refuse. Damn. Big mistake.
His initial acceptance of the test result soon changed to one of anger.
"I can't believe he failed me."
I try to be diplomatic, "Perhaps you didn't quite convince him that you will be fine on the roads?" I suggested, imagining white terror on the examiner's face.
"But how can he fail me in Gairloch? It has a 70% pass rate."
I tried to explain that that meant 30% of people fail, but I didn't add that most of those are probably much better drivers than him. But I am glad he failed. Coming all the way to Inverness and Gairloch (plus my fee) would not have been cheap. He obviously thought it would be a cheap way of obtaining his licence, which backfired badly. However, I admit that I was wrong to take him without assessing his driving first and I apologise to the examiner.
The drive from Gairloch to Ullapool is breathtaking. It was a beautiful clear day and the drive should have been a real pleasure. Unfortunately, he spent most of the journey ignoring the scenery and telling me how wrong the examiner was and how it didn't matter anyway because he had friends who could get him a dodgy Zimbabwean driving licence which would be valid in the UK. I am not au fait with Zimbabwe/UK licence matters so I didn't comment - I'm sure he would not have listened to any alternative I may have suggested, such as 'take more driving lessons and get your licence legally'.
Thankfully, he started to fall asleep after an hour, so I tried to drive ultra carefully so as to not wake him and listen to more rubbish. I had already heard enough rubbish this week, whether from deluded learner drivers or X Factor judges.
Thursday 17 November 2011
Boys toys
The other day I was listening to Radio 5live; the presenters were talking about their new studio and how they thought the floor was not level. Apparently, one of the studio engineers then whipped out his smartphone, opened the 'spirit-level' app and confirmed that the floor was level.
Within minutes I too had downloaded a spirit-level app and was playing around with the bubbles. To be honest, I have no idea when I might use it - If I put a picture up on the wall I simply stand back to see if it is level - but you never know, who's to say I won't build a house one day? (I can just imagine Jane rolling her eyes at this thought).
The other weekend, when I was walking the dogs at sunrise on the beach, I could not see where Heath (Maggie's tiny Papillon) had got to. No problem; I clicked on the 'torch' app on my phone and it used the camera flash as a surprisingly bright torch.
The family favourite is Google Sky Map: You point the phone at any point in the sky and it shows you what planets, stars and constellations you are looking at. It was quite a revelation to find that what we assumed were stars were planets.
It's useful for my business too. I love the fact that I can enter lessons in my phone diary and it appears on my computer and vice versa. And I can go online and search/book driving tests while I am with my pupil. All these things probably seem so 2008 to many of you, but they are wondrous discoveries to me. It even makes telephone calls.
Last year, my nephew demonstrated his prowess at Angry birds. It is seemingly compulsory to have this game if you have a smartphone. It's ok, but a bit repetetive. Call me old-fashioned, but when I am queueing for my fish and chips I prefer to whip out my Samsung and have a game of chess.
I half expect, one day, to find an overlooked secret button that, when pressed, causes a penknife and a corkscrew to pop out. But, lack of Swiss Army knife facilities aside, it's not perfect: This morning I pressed the voice command app and asked it to "Write a new blog post" but all it managed was this drivel.
Within minutes I too had downloaded a spirit-level app and was playing around with the bubbles. To be honest, I have no idea when I might use it - If I put a picture up on the wall I simply stand back to see if it is level - but you never know, who's to say I won't build a house one day? (I can just imagine Jane rolling her eyes at this thought).
The other weekend, when I was walking the dogs at sunrise on the beach, I could not see where Heath (Maggie's tiny Papillon) had got to. No problem; I clicked on the 'torch' app on my phone and it used the camera flash as a surprisingly bright torch.
The family favourite is Google Sky Map: You point the phone at any point in the sky and it shows you what planets, stars and constellations you are looking at. It was quite a revelation to find that what we assumed were stars were planets.
It's useful for my business too. I love the fact that I can enter lessons in my phone diary and it appears on my computer and vice versa. And I can go online and search/book driving tests while I am with my pupil. All these things probably seem so 2008 to many of you, but they are wondrous discoveries to me. It even makes telephone calls.
Last year, my nephew demonstrated his prowess at Angry birds. It is seemingly compulsory to have this game if you have a smartphone. It's ok, but a bit repetetive. Call me old-fashioned, but when I am queueing for my fish and chips I prefer to whip out my Samsung and have a game of chess.
I half expect, one day, to find an overlooked secret button that, when pressed, causes a penknife and a corkscrew to pop out. But, lack of Swiss Army knife facilities aside, it's not perfect: This morning I pressed the voice command app and asked it to "Write a new blog post" but all it managed was this drivel.
(cheeky Samsung ad)
Sunday 13 November 2011
You take the low road and we'll take the high road
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional." (Chili Davis)
Why am I starting this post with such a quote? Here are two more clues:
"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest." (Larry Lorenzoni)
"There's still no cure for the common birthday." (John Glenn)
Yes, I had another birthday this week. It's ok, really. I LIKE birthdays. I hope I always will. I no longer compile lists of CDs and Playstation games I must have, but the odd new shirt or bottle of Lagavulin/Macallan/Laphroaig is always welcome.
"What do you want to do on your birthday?" Jane asked.
"I fancy a drive over to the West coast."
"But that's what you do all the time."
"I know, but I like it. We haven't been to Applecross for a while. I'd like to go there."
So, yesterday morning, Jane, Maggie and I (plus our three dogs in the back of our pick-up) set off for Applecross. I don't know why we don't go more often, it is just THE BEST drive. The first two hours are good, but it is the last twenty miles that are stunning, especially the Bealach na Ba (Pass of the Cattle), a (very) winding, narrow mountain pass. This is a photo I took near the start of the pass (yes, I had stopped). The photo doesn't convey how steep the road gets, but the road goes over the top of those mountains. You only have to Google 'Applecross' or 'Bealach na Ba' to find a wealth of stunning images.
To give you an even better idea, have a look at this video (and there are several more on YouTube).
It wouldn't be a top, TOP day out without a decent lunch and our lunch at The Applecross Inn was way beyond 'decent'. We shared a selection of the freshest crab, lobster and langoustines imaginable, with a window view of Raasay and Skye backlit by a low, November Sun.
The 'Undiscovered Scotland' website recommended returning via the northern coastal road to Shieldaig, but we wanted to drive the pass again. However, A wee bit of online searching suggests that the coastal road is worth us going back to in the near future.
By all means visit Loch Ness, Edinburgh, Skye, Glencoe and 101 other places when you come to Scotland, but you will never forget a day out to Applecross.
Why am I starting this post with such a quote? Here are two more clues:
"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest." (Larry Lorenzoni)
"There's still no cure for the common birthday." (John Glenn)
Yes, I had another birthday this week. It's ok, really. I LIKE birthdays. I hope I always will. I no longer compile lists of CDs and Playstation games I must have, but the odd new shirt or bottle of Lagavulin/Macallan/Laphroaig is always welcome.
"What do you want to do on your birthday?" Jane asked.
"I fancy a drive over to the West coast."
"But that's what you do all the time."
"I know, but I like it. We haven't been to Applecross for a while. I'd like to go there."
It wouldn't be a top, TOP day out without a decent lunch and our lunch at The Applecross Inn was way beyond 'decent'. We shared a selection of the freshest crab, lobster and langoustines imaginable, with a window view of Raasay and Skye backlit by a low, November Sun.
The 'Undiscovered Scotland' website recommended returning via the northern coastal road to Shieldaig, but we wanted to drive the pass again. However, A wee bit of online searching suggests that the coastal road is worth us going back to in the near future.
By all means visit Loch Ness, Edinburgh, Skye, Glencoe and 101 other places when you come to Scotland, but you will never forget a day out to Applecross.
Tuesday 8 November 2011
Remember remember...
Another little quiz for you:
Scenario 1: You are fast asleep in an hotel when the fire alarm wakes you. You check your watch and it is 2am. Do you..
a) Assume it is a false alarm and wait for someone to turn the damn thing off?
b) Jump out of bed, get dressed and make your way calmly to the meeting point?
Scenario 2: You are driving along a motorway at approximately 70mph. Ahead of you the vehicles start braking. Do you...
a) Assume that the vehicles ahead are being overcautious, or are too close to other vehicles, and expect them to release the brakes and carry on driving?
b) React quickly, checking your mirrors and begin braking until you see the situation easing ahead?
Ross - my youngest step-daughter's boyfriend - works for a holiday company and, now the season has finished, offered Jane, Anna, Maggie, our three grand-daughters and me this weekend at one of their sites at Embo, near Dornoch. A fantastic setting, right on the beautiful, sandy beach.
I had lessons during the day (while the others drove over to Embo), then I enjoyed the 90 minute drive in the late afternoon. The route, along the A96 and A9, stays close to the Moray Firth coast for the most part, giving some wonderful views. Add to that a completely clear sky, no wind and The Cocteau Twins' Four Calendar Cafe on the CD player, it all made for a perfect drive.
And then there were the fireworks. My favourite way to enjoy Bonfire Night is to sit on a hill, watching fireworks go off in every direction. But going on a drive, seeing the different displays is almost as good. Especially if you are not the driver.
I can only imagine the conditions on the M5 last Friday night. I was lucky enough not to be there and have every sympathy for the victims and everyone affected by the terrible accident. There has been some talk about the police beginning a criminal investigation, focusing on the firework display at the nearby Taunton Rugby Club. The Highway Act 1980 forbids 'the discharge of fireworks within 50 feet of the centre of a highway without lawful authority or excuse.' As far as the M5 is concerned, this means about 2 -3 car lengths from the hard-shoulder. The display was apparently over 100m away and the rugby club say the display ended ten minutes before the accident, although smoke from the bonfire could have contributed to the lack of visibility.
Now think back to scenario 2, at the top of this post: Imagine you are driving on a motorway, at night, in occasionally foggy conditions and you are driving at approximately 70mph. Suddenly ahead, you see vehicles braking. Or, your vision in swiftly obscured by fog or smoke. At 70mph you will have covered approximately 20 - 25 metres before you will have even reacted. Assuming conditions are dry, and you react quickly, it will still take you another 70 metres (15 - 20 car lengths) to stop.
It is possible that, if every driver on the road was driving at a speed in which they could comfortably stop in the distance they could see to be clear, were keeping at least 2 seconds from the vehicle ahead and reacted quickly when something unusual happened ahead, that there might still have been an accident. But the chances would have been dramatically reduced.
On Sunday morning it was wonderful to wake to the gentle breaking of waves on Embo beach on Sunday morning. Another near-cloudless sky and I could begin to understand why Embo is twinned with Kaunakakai in Hawaii. But I had lessons in Inverness and Ullapool to attend to, so, after walking the dogs on the beach, I left Jane and co. to enjoy the morning while I scraped the ice off my car for the first time this Autumn (I bet they don't have to do that very often in Kaunakakai).
With a couple of consecutive days of lessons in Ullapool I stayed, as usual, in an hotel. Very nice, you might think, but having a piercing fire alarm go off at two in the morning is anything but nice. What did I do? Well, I lay there thinking "Someone please turn that bloody thing off." I didn't react as I should have done and made my way to safety. I simply assumed that everything was ok and that someone had set the alarm off for a laugh, or by accident. It wasn't until over a minute had passed that I considered that it really could be a fire and I started getting dressed. The alarm was then silenced and I went back to bed. But that minute delay on my part could have cost me my life if it really had been a fire.
The next morning I was considering my delayed reaction and it led me to think about the M5 accident. It is very likely that all it took was for one vehicle not to react to what was happening ahead. I see my pupils do it all the time (and experienced drivers too). They see the car ahead braking (or indicating) and yet they still keep their foot on the accelerator, subconsciously assuming that the situation will have cleared before they have to do anything about it. At the very least, not reacting to what is happening ahead will usually result in firm braking and having to change down a gear or two (something which perhaps could have been avoided with an early response). At the very worst, it could result in a multiple vehicle pile-up on a motorway, with many deaths.
Before I became a driving instructor, I used to think that a 70mph speed limit on motorways and dual-carriageways was outdated and too low. But the thing with speed limits is that people think it is acceptable, even allowed, to go 10% (or more) above the speed limit. So, if they do introduce a raised limit of 80mph on motorways, it will mean there will be plenty of people thinking it is ok to drive along at nearly 90mph. Do you know what your stopping distance would be at that speed? Over 200metres, or over 50 car lengths (again assuming dry conditions). Have a look at www.safespeed.org.uk/background for more information. I wonder how many more deaths there may have been on the M5 with an 80mph speed limit?
So, conclusions to be drawn from this weekend:
1. Police - Don't waste your time scouring every square inch of Taunton rugby pitch looking for 'evidence'.
2. Consider a trip to Embo beach (especially if Hawaii is a bit too far away).
3. Buy, or download, Four Calendar Cafe.
4. When a fire alarm goes off, unless you have been told different in advance, assume it is THE REAL THING and get to safety.
5. When driving, react quickly to whatever is happening ahead of you (brake lights, indicators, pedestrians, junctions, parked vehicles, traffic lights etc), even if it just a glance in the mirrors and easing off the accelerator, until you know everything is safe.
6. If they raise the speed limit to 80mph, get used to leaving a VERY BIG gap between you and the vehicle ahead.
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