This year's love

So I turned my back on my Clio and walked away, not looking back.

And I walked straight to my new car; a brand-new, very shiny white 12 reg Ford Fiesta.
I could not be accused of two-timing, I had finished with my Clio before I started with the Fiesta, but I must confess that I did have my eyes on the Fiesta as soon as I realised that things were coming to an end with the Clio.

The weather was a wee bit too wild and chilly to spend too much time admiring her from outside, so I got straight into the cockpit. The first thing I noticed was that I felt much more that I was sitting 'in' the seat, rather than 'on' them. In fact, there is a general feeling of the car being wrapped around you, which, if I'm being harsh, makes the Clio feel slightly 'agricultural' in comparison.
As I drove out of the car-park, the first thing I noticed was the steering; the Clio's steering was slightly 'slow', but the Fiesta's is razor-sharp, not quite as sharp as the Fiat's, but a turning circle more than a metre smaller than the Clio - that should be good for manoeuvres.
The gears are very nice. I used to think the Clio's gear selection was good, but the Fiesta's feel even more slick. And there is no effort to select 5th - the spring on the Clio was slightly too firm, resulting in anxiety for some learner drivers the first few times they tried to select 5th gear. Even better, thankfully, is that there are no problems at all in selecting reverse. So no more panics in the middle of a turn in the road because they can't get it into reverse.
The integrated entertainment and communications system all looks a bit complex, and I haven't got round to exploring that properly yet, but I have worked out how to make and receive calls on my mobile using voice command, which should save me having to pull over every time someone calls me.

A good few years ago, someone was considerate enough to crash into my parked car (a story I shall have to tell you sometime) and I put the insurance payout towards treating myself to a Mazda RX7 (which reminds me of other stories that perhaps I won't tell you). Anyway, this car was FAST. The following weekend, I drove up to see my friend, Molly, at Culzean, and I took some obscure B roads to enjoy the journey. My favourite was the B6277 from Barnard Castle, through Middleton-in-Teesdale, to Alston. Weaving my new car around that twisting road it felt like something from a car television advert. Loved it. Well, I had that same feeling again with my new Fiesta as I took the B9007 from Carrbridge, over the Dava moor, to Forres; a glorious, winding road, with no other vehicles. The car was a real pleasure to drive, feeling completely assured on every bend.

I still notice and admire Renault Clios coming towards me, but do I regret changing to the Fiesta? Not a chance.

Old Faithful

I see that many people have found this blog after searching for information about the Renault Clio. I have now had my Clio for 20 months, so what do I think of it?
I have to be honest, it wasn’t my first choice. Having had several Vauxhall Corsas when I was with BSM I knew that I didn’t want another Corsa. My last BSM car was a Fiat 500, which I personally loved, but it wasn’t too popular with my customers.
Leaving BSM meant that I could choose whatever car I wanted. I read loads of reviews, had some test drives, and plumped for the new Ford Fiesta. But a misunderstanding over the end of my BSM contract meant that I had to cancel the Fiesta I had ordered. Then I ……… oh, it’s a long, boring story, but I ended up choosing my Renault Clio.
Fantastic. I loved it, but more importantly, my customers loved it. It wasn’t as much fun to drive as the Fiat 500, but it is a very easy car to learn to drive in. The clutch is very forgiving, the engine is very flexible, it has good all-round visibility, the brakes are excellent (almost too good) and it has a pleasing, uncluttered driving environment.
But what don’t I like about it? Tough question, my answer is “not a lot”. The seats aren’t the best - you feel a little like you’re sitting on them, rather than ‘in’ them. I don’t feel comfortable with having a ‘tyre inflator’ instead of a spare wheel. The steering isn’t quite as sharp as I would like it to be. Renault extended the wheelbase on the current model and (especially after the Fiat 500, which was as responsive as a Go-Kart) the steering felt a little unresponsive. The only other thing I can fault is reverse gear; there is no button, trigger, push , pull, or other mechanism to prevent accidental selection - it simply won’t let you go from a forward gear straight into reverse. This is fine most of the time, but every now and then it gets stuck and you have to go through the faff of putting it back in neutral, clutch up, clutch down, then it will go into reverse. These extra couple of seconds can add extra pressure in the middle of a parallel park or turn in the road.
But these are very small niggles. The Clio is an excellent tuition car. When a bus rear-ended me last year, the insurance company provided me with a Peugeot 207. Although I liked how it looked, my pupils didn’t like driving it and we were all pleased when, a few weeks later, we got the Clio back.
But, as Echo & The Bunnymen once sang, nothing lasts forever. My relationship with my Clio seemed to lack the spark it once had.
After 20 months, 76,000 miles and over 100 pupils, we had been through a lot together.  But where I once used to lovingly polish her body, these days I am more likely to call her names when my pupil struggles to get it in reverse gear. Perhaps it was time to move on. She was to be binned, dumped, given the elbow, ditched, tossed aside, drop-kicked and given the big heave-ho.
And so, last Tuesday, I took her for one last spin. I drove down to Glasgow. She was as lively as ever; steady and assured on the winding roads, but responsive when I wanted her to overtake. Each time I saw another Clio heading towards me I would look at the styling, look at the smile on the driver's face and wonder whether I was doing the right thing. Perhaps the Clio and I were made for each other.
We reached Glasgow, where I was to say goodbye to her. It felt less like a relationship break-up, but more like taking a favourite dog to the vets and leaving her there.

If you have come to this site after searching for information on the Renault Clio, then I can only praise it. It's not perfect, and I believe they are bringing out a new model later in the year, but every time I see someone driving one, I think "What an intelligent person."

It's a thin line between love and hate.

It didn't all go to plan last week.
I have one pupil who, clearly, can handle a car. He is so tall that, when sat in the driver seat, his knees are as high as his hands. Whether it is a result of being influenced by how others drive, or whether it is just overconfidence, I'm not sure, but we have spent a lot of time just slowing things down, especially on the approach to junctions. He has put a lot of effort in and I was very confident that he would pass his test with ease.
Wednesday morning, especially with his test being around the time of children going to school, I reminded him that the driving test is not a race, he needed to demonstrate complete control, awareness and safety. Perhaps I put too much emphasis on this because he failed for not getting up to speed when appropriate - he was doing 45mph in a 60mph road. Ironic, as it was on the road where he lives. But, with several hours of rain before his test, we had discussed the fact that 60mph would not be an appropriate speed in such conditions. So I feel especially responsible, although maybe 45mph was a bit slow.
Like many aspects of driving, it is quite a skill achieving the correct balance. There is a fine line between being cautious and being hesitant. And there is a similarly fine line between being confident and being cocky.
When I have very new, nervous pupils, I try to build up their confidence on quiet roads where it is not so important that we get up to an appropriate speed. But, although my pupils are my priority, I always try to consider the vehicles coming up behind us. So, when we start venturing out onto busier roads, we usually work on 'making progress' (looking for safe opportunities to get quickly up to an appropriate speed).
I had a lesson with Beth this afternoon that could not have gone more to plan. She has had about 5 or 6 lessons, and all is going well, but I just felt that we could get going a wee bit more when it is safe to do so. So we talked about the concept of 'making progress' and the consequences of not getting up to speed when it was safe to do so. She worked hard on this and, as we neared the end of the lesson, she was accelerating more confidently, getting up through the gears, and quickly reaching 'appropriate speeds'. As we were heading home we came up behind a Mercedes doing about 15 - 20mph on a clear 30mph road. The slightly winding nature of the road meant that overtaking was not an option. But it was interesting watching how Beth's uncertainty over the car ahead began changing to irritation at the fact that she was forced to go at a speed slower than she would have liked (a speed she probably would have been happy with at the start of the lesson). A queue of 5 or 6 cars had built up behind us and I reassured Beth that this was not her fault, but she could now understand why 'making progress' was important. We pulled over as the road opened up and watched as the queuing cars all accelerated above the speed limit to overtake the Mercedes.
 A week or so ago, I wrote about the futility of overtaking streams of traffic travelling at appropriate speeds. But today was a good lesson in understanding why going too slow is equally inconsiderate and potentially dangerous. 

You can dance.

I met Madonna last night, it was for a television show. The last couple of years the BBC have had a show called 'So you think you can dance.' They have scrapped it this year, but are doing something called 'So you think you CAN'T dance' instead. The idea is to take someone who can't dance and train them to be good enough to be one of Madonna's dancers for the UK dates of her world tour.
Now, one of my family or 'friends' put my name forward. I was slightly hurt by this. It's been a few years since I used to throw caution to the wind and let loose on the dancefloor. But I do bust a few moves to James Brown, et al ,when I am cooking, and I did take one of the leading roles during the 'I got a feeling' pod dance for my brother's wedding.... Perhaps that's it... Perhaps someone from the wedding sent a video of that dance into the BBC? Anyway, I was selected to be one of the eight people to make it to the television show. Very nervous, but very exciting.
So last night we went to the studio for the first time and I met the other seven. Most of them seem very easy to get on with, and I'm surprised that not all are younger than me. Then Madonna came in. We weren't expecting that. She was very personable, charming and beguiling. She is also surprisingly informal, yet still very professional.
We were going to take it in turns to dance in front of her - VERY scary. We had to wait in a waiting room with a table overflowing with buffet food - which I thought very odd. Anyway, by the time it was my turn, Madonna had gone home and Louis Spence had taken her place. I immediately walked out. And then I woke up.
Very weird. What was particularly weird about the dream was how unbelievably clear and detailed it was. I remember production staff trying different footwear on me; I remember different foods on the buffet table; and I remember the look on Louis Spence's face when I walked through the door.
Sorry. There are few things more boring than other people's dreams, but I still can't get over how real it was. Worrying.
Fortunately the rest of my week was far less camp. In fact, it was a very full-on week, as far as lessons and tests were concerned. Congratulations to Mhairi, Fergus and James, who all passed their at the first attempt this week. Mhairi was supposed to have taken her test last December and was understandably disappointed when it was cancelled due to snow. She rebooked for January but had to cancel that one due to school exams. But, to her credit, she didn't give up on her lessons and it paid off when she passed with just one minor error. An excellent drive.
 Congratulations also to Marcus, who passed his test this week. He was so close to passing when he took his first test, but signalled too late on a 60mph road = 1 serious fault.  A much better feeling for him after this week's test.
The week finished of with some very exciting news..... But I can't tell you about it just yet.... Maybe next week.
Sweet dreams.

Rat race.

Once again, a bit of snow seems to be bringing havoc to the roads.
It's funny how a few inches of snow in England becomes HEADLINE NEWS when far worse conditions north of the border rarely get more than the briefest of mentions. The reporter on Breakfast just now said "Here, in Worcestershire, we had half a centimetre of snow overnight." that's not news! That barely even qualifies as 'weather'.
Driving is all about reading the road ahead and making adjustments for the conditions. 'Conditions' include traffic and road conditions, not just weather.
One of life's little pleasures is watching other drivers NOT reading the road ahead. Admittedly this is morally dubious, like watching Alex Ferguson's blood pressure rise when things aren't going his way.
The A96, the road linking Inverness and Aberdeen, is great for Bad Driver watching. In general, it is a fairly free-flowing 60mph road (apart from the occasional tractor driver who is less considerate than most tractor drivers). In a perfect world, with good weather conditions, everyone would be driving at 57 - 60mph on the straights, easing of the accelerator in good time for the bends and roundabouts, and keeping a minimum of a 2 second gap between them and the vehicle ahead....... "in a perfect world". But, as we are reminded every day, this isn't a perfect world. There are plenty of drivers that drive at speeds significantly less than appropriate. But, who knows, maybe they are transporting something fragile? Maybe they....... (I'm struggling to think of other valid reasons for driving far too slow for the conditions). And, of course, there are plenty of drivers who think that speed limits do not apply to them, as A & E units (and undertakers) around the country will testify.
Almost every day I travel along the A96. What fascinates me is wondering what on earth its going on in the heads of some of the drivers? Early morning and late afternoon, there will usually be a continuous stream of vehicles in each direction, at consistent speeds of 50 - 60 mph. Let's take the 16 mile journey from Nairn to Inverness as an example:
In a perfect world, with everyone travelling at 60mph (and ignoring the slowing down for the three roundabouts), it would take 16 minutes to complete the journey. If, heaven forbid, you had to 'endure' sitting in traffic at 55mph, you would reach your destination a mere 87 seconds later. Even if the flow of traffic was down to 50mph, your journey would still only take a fraction over 3 minutes longer. I am sure that no-one would ever mind setting their alarm clock 4 minutes earlier (so they could allow a few minutes extra for their journey), yet so many people seem to hate sitting in steadily flowing traffic, a touch under the speed limit. Consequently, I watch with fascination/ horror/ amusement as drivers take sometimes considerable risks (and use a lot more fuel) to overtake a car or two, wait a couple of miles for another overtaking opportunity, overtake another car, wait for another opportunity etc. It so often happens that the Audi (and other cars), sitting right up behind me as I head out of Nairn, is maybe 5 or 6 vehicles (= 20 seconds) ahead of me as we reach Inverness.
Even if, like some Audi drivers, you don't believe the speed limit applies to you and you raced to Inverness at 70mph, you would only arrive just over 2 minutes before someone sticking to the speed limit. Meanwhile, you have used significantly more fuel, risked a fine, points on your license and, most importantly, risked the lives of others.
I love driving. I love the sensation of speed. And I will overtake when it is safe and necessary to do so. But I also love getting to my destination early simply because I allowed plenty of time of time for the journey, not because I risked overtaking every vehicle in front of me.
Do yourself a favour - leave a few minutes earlier and leave the anxiety and blood pressure to Alex Ferguson.

Should you drive differently in your test?

Rory wasn't the only test this week.
I have no idea about the statistics, but it seems to be accepted that, the younger you are, the more quickly you learn. Sometimes it can even be shocking how quickly 17 year-olds learn. But, somehow, it does mean that it can be more rewarding teaching more mature pupils.
My 2nd pupil on test is no longer 17 (as is also the case with Rory). She actually started with me a couple of years ago, but combining work with her family and a degree course meant that she found learning to drive just one commitment too much. But moving 10 miles further up the loch meant that learning to drive became a necessity.
Possibly, part of the reason it can harder to learn is that, at 17, people often have less fear and more confidence. Julie's biggest hurdle was her self-confidence. So, although I was confident she was ready for her test, she seemed less so. In fact, in the lessons running up to her test, she made regular comments about 'expecting to fail' and 're-booking her test as soon as she got home after failing'.
She asked me to sit in on the test. An emergency stop right at the start of her test clearly unsettled her and she stalled at the next junction. After a slightly messy couple of minutes, she got it together and began to drive as well as I know she can. But the stall and the messy driving was obviously still on her mind because she seemed completely shocked when the examiner told her she had passed.
Something else that added to Julie's lack of confidence was the fact that she had hardly any private practice outside of her lessons. Seoras was almost the opposite. His parents gave up their time so that he could practice his driving most days. Consequently, his driving became very assured and natural. But, a few bad habits, such as not checking his mirrors adequately, were beginning to creep in. So my job changed from telling him how (and why) to do things, to what could happen if he didn't do these things. As a result, Seoras passed with just a few driver errors, making it three first-time passes out of three tests for my pupils on Wednesday.
 The very next day I had another test. This pupil had also benefited from practice with parents and has become a very good, considerate driver. She also asked if I could sit in on her test. It was possibly the most comfortable I have ever felt when sitting in the back. As the test progressed I began thinking that she might complete the test with 0 driver faults. She was approaching a crossroads, with three cars parked on her side of the road, close to the junction. She checked her mirrors and started moving out to pass the cars. Just as she did so, a car turned into our road. She slowed down and the oncoming car slowed too. Unfortunately, she assumed the oncoming car was giving way to her (they probably were) and released her brake. The examiner recorded this as a serious fault and it cost her her test. It was a very split-second decision and, if she had just held back a fraction more than she did, she would have been fine. It just goes to show that EVERYTHING we do when driving should be done to cause as little inconvenience to others as possible.
Bear that last statement in mind when reading the following:
Another pupil, who has his test approaching, was talking to one of his school teachers, who has been having lessons with another instructor. She told my pupil "My instructor said that, on your test, you should slow down and go into first gear at every junction." Now, either my pupil misunderstood his teacher, or his teacher misunderstood her instructor, or her instructor is an idiot....
Imagine if you are following a vehicle and you see that vehicle indicating to turn into a side road. You would probably expect that vehicle to slow to a speed that they could check the junction is clear and negotiate the turn. If that vehicle then slows right down to below walking speed (and selects 1st gear) you will be forced into braking harder than you originally expected. This is potentially dangerous. Sure, some junctions are so tight, or so blind, that 1st gear might be appropriate, but not EVERY junction. And, as a side note, why would you ever do anything different on your test to what you would usually do? (answer: you wouldn't).
 As a driver, every day you will encounter other drivers, cyclists and pedestrians that cause you problems. Sometimes it is accidental, often it is due to ignorance, arrogance or stupidity. Whatever decisions you have to make while driving, it should always consider what causes the least problems for others.... And that includes the vehicles behind you who are braking furiously because you unnecessarily selected 1st gear.
Just in case you are left in any doubt, the answer to the question in this post's title is 'Don't be so bloody stupid!'

How refreshing.

Well I seem to have cracked that stupid solve-a-mathematical-puzzle-to-turn-the-alarm-off thing on my phone. It turns out I was answering the questions correctly but not pressing some other button. How was I supposed to know that?!
You may laugh, or sneer (but a sneer is not a flattering look on you) at the thought of my alarm shenanigans, but they are effective. So far I have found that the best tunes to rouse me are 'I fought the law' by The Clash, or 'Lust for life' by Iggy Pop - the galloping intros of either send me jolting from my pillow, arms flailing like an electrified octopus to turn the alarm off.
While my alarm helpfully tells me what day it is, the weather is not very helpful in telling me what month it is. The fact that, the other day, it was -8C and I had thick ice on my windscreen merely suggests that there is an 'r' in the month. This is further confused when, later the same day, it was +13C and I had the car window open for the first time in months.
Of course, my customers pay me for the finest and sharpest instructional mind available, so it is not too encouraging if they read about me not knowing what day, or what month, it is. They need have no fear though, for, by the time their lesson starts, I could not possibly be more awake. This was especially the case this morning...
Anyone above a certain age may remember television adverts for Skol lager. I am not sad enough to remember them precisely, but they showed people being dunked on a water wheel, or being caterpaulted into a snow bank, then declaring that it wasn't as refreshing as a pint of Skol... Or something like that. I was reminded of that advert this morning; I had an 8AM lesson to start with. Although not particularly cold, it was still dark, raining, and there was a gusting north-westerly wind. My car was parked facing North-West. The amount of grit and muck on the roads meant that keeping the car clean is a never-ending process and I get through gallons of screen wash. Last night I could tell the screen wash was getting low, so I decided to fill it before the day's lessons. Naturally, the weather decided that that was the perfect moment to deteriorate. The wind picked up, trying to take my bonnet with it and causing the horizontal rain to pelt my back. Stupidly, I wasn't wearing a coat and, within seconds, my back was soaked with Atlantic rain. It certainly refreshed me more than a pint of Skol ever could. No time to change my shirt, so I drove to Rory's, the whole journey leaning forward so I didn't get the seat wet and make him wonder if I had perspiration problems.
Matters were further complicated by the fact that Rory had his driving test at 8.40, his first attempt. So, not wanting to dampen the examiner's seat, I had to continue leaning forward until I felt my shirt had dried sufficiently - not the best health & safety practice.
Another instructor in one of the areas I cover put a statement on his website declaring that he won't spend time sat by the side of the road, he will give you as much driving as possible etc; then he added something like 'unlike some instructors - you know who you are!'. Apart from me, there is only one other instructor that covers that area, so maybe he was having an uneducated dig at me. Who knows, who cares? Anyway my (laboured) point is that, often, aspects of driving cannot be covered on the move. I always aim to give my pupils maximum value from their lessons, so I do like to get them driving as much as possible, but time spent with my sketch pad, drawing quick diagrams and explaining things is equally important.
I don't think I have ever spent as much time with a pupil, sat by the side of the road, discussing and analysing aspects of driving, as I have with Rory. It wasn't that he wasn't 'getting it', it was just that he always wanted to learn more. He is always asking me "What would happen if....?" and "What would be the best thing to do if.....?" I wish all my pupils were as inquisitive. Often he would get in the car at the start of a lesson and immediately ask "I was thinking, last night, 'what should I do if....... happened?" And the analysis would go on until, ten minutes later, I would get anxious that neighbours might think I spend too much time sat by the curb instead of driving.
In his test this morning, Rory was waiting at a crossroads to turn right when a lorry approached the junction from the road opposite. The lorry put a right indicator on, then cancelled it, so Rory had to assume it was going straight ahead and thus had priority. But the driver was waving Rory on, but he couldn't go because of other traffic. A few minutes later, Rory was on a narrow, downhill road, approaching a very blind T-junction to turn left. Suddenly a bin lorry turned in to his road, without checking that there was room for him to do so. Rory had the presence of mind to secure the car, select reverse gear, find the biting point and check over both shoulders to ensure it was safe before reversing back to a point where the bin lorry could safely pass. Perhaps if we had spent more time whizzing around the village and less time by the side of the road, analysing his driving, he might have rushed, made bad choices and not passed his test. Very well done Rory, I'm very proud of you.
So, if you are learning to drive and you don't FULLY understand something, ask your instructor if you can pull over, switch off the engine and have him/ her explain it to you. Or find a better instructor.

(and remember to bring a coat if you are going to the Highlands).