That’s it, I’m almost done. One more present to wrap, one more lesson to give, just one lemon to buy then I am all ready for Christmas.
My ‘Xmas 2010’ play list is currently playing on this laptop; dragging and dropping is so much easier than the hours and hours I used to spend creating compilation cassettes. It’s very tempting for me to liberally sprinkle tomorrow’s soundtrack with lots of British Sea Power, The White Stripes, The Flaming Lips, Otis Redding and Saint Etienne (I could possibly get away with Saint Etienne), but I have tried to include something for everyone - Cee-Lo Green, Hot Chip, Beyonce, Kings of Leon, The Waterboys, Rod Stewart, Wilson Pickett et al with lashings of festive tracks from the likes of The Jackson 5, Wizzard, Phil Spector, John Lennon and Amy Winehouse.
I suspect some people are beginning to get a bit complacent with the weather and starting to take risks with their driving. There certainly seems to have been more accidents the last few days. If you have to make a journey, just set off early and accept that it will take you longer. There are plenty of people who are driving too cautiously, causing traffic to build up behind them. But that’s fine, better too slow than too fast; just relax and drive with patience - getting closer and closer to the car ahead will not make you reach your destination any earlier.
If you are a ‘glass half-empty’ person, it is not always the best time of year - transport problems (or ‘chaos’ as the media prefers to call it), cold weather (or ‘the Big Freeze’), continuing dishonesty from politicians, too many people homeless and having to sleep out in these temperatures, people going missing or being killed by someone’s pet….. The list goes on. But fill up your glass… The days are already getting longer, the nights shorter; the weather WILL improve; business will pick up, someone else will replace Matt Cardle at No.1 and, tomorrow, ITS CHRIIIIISSTMMAAAAAASS!
I would like to echo what The Jackson 5 are singing right now, Love and peace to everyone. Have a good one.
Friday 24 December 2010
Tuesday 21 December 2010
Unstoppable
Sarah Cracknell (of Saint Etienne) once sang ‘She said her life was like a motorway, dull, grey and long, until you came along’. At times it can feel that the run-up to Christmas is like a motorway, seemingly never-ending, sometimes stressful then, suddenly, you are off it and all is peaceful again.
Ever thoughtful, the great powers of BBC and ITV don’t want our Advent to be dull, grey and long, so, if you had checked your rear-view mirror a month ago, you cannot have failed to notice four monstrous juggernauts charging up behind you: I’m a celebrity, get me out of here (in its Leaf Green paintwork); The Apprentice (in Charcoal Grey livery with blue pinstripes); Strictly come dancing (in Canary Yellow with Rhinestone go-faster stripes); and The X Factor (in, as seen on the show, Antichrist Black with a big Red cross, the colour of teenage blood).
These four juggernauts have been roaring along for weeks, picking up momentum and obliterating everything else in their paths (except for the Coronation Street tram). You may have been momentarily distracted by catastrophic weather, student riots, royal engagements, FIFA farces and the steady dribble of WikiLeaks, but still these juggernauts retained the attention of the nation. In yesterday’ Sunday Times, for example, a quarter-page photo of Pamela Stephenson dominated page 4, for no real reason other than to say she was in Saturday night’s final (the results had obviously been too late to print). In the same newspaper, the wine columnist referred to The X Factor THREE times (there was a bit about wine towards the end).
It is car-crash tv. I liked to think I was above watching other people’s misfortune and humiliation, but, when it is there in front of you, it is hard to avert your eyes. In recent weeks BBC1 has had the excellent The Accused on Monday nights, but I am deeply ashamed to admit that I missed a couple when I’m a celebrity… was on.
Where the once unstoppable Big Brother slowly turned to rust and is now mercifully in the juggernaut scrap yard, I A C G M O O H has escaped reality fatigue mainly through the childishly watchable hosting of Ant and Dec, clever editing and some luck (who could have predicted that Shaun Ryder and Stacey Solomon would be such a winning combination?). The plight of Gillian McKeith was the epitome of ‘car-crash TV’ and although watching ‘celebrities’ reach as the struggle to swallow some squelchy morsel of antipodean fauna is getting a little old hat, genius ideas such as making some of them spies have kept it (relatively) fresh.
It is only during the last two series that I have been converted to The Apprentice, I think earlier glimpses of the rampant egos kept me away. However, this is part of the appeal. It is much more satisfying to watch someone with an inflated opinion of themselves crash and burn, rather than someone you liked. Even Stuart “I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m not a ten-trick pony, I’ve got a whole field of ponies” Baggs, who I had no time for initially, proved very entertaining - and you can’t really dislike someone who, on national television, described himself as ‘a bit of a cock’. After his departure I didn’t really care who won, but the way that both Stella and Chris came up with a new product, a good brand name and image under such pressure was very impressive.
I must be getting old. The idea of me enjoying a programme about ballroom dancing would have horrified my younger self. But, as people who voted for Ann Widdecombe and John Sergeant know, it is not about who is the best dancer. It is a combination of the celebrities, the dancers, the band, the staging, the slick hosting, the costumes, the lunacy of Claudia Winkleman and the pantomime judges. Chris and Ola proved last year that it is just as much a personality contest as a dance competition, which is why I think the slightly simpering Pamela Stephenson didn’t reach the final two.
But the biggest, most unstoppable juggernaut - overtaking Strictly’s ratings in the last couple of years - is The X Factor. I’ve moaned about it before…. But I still watch it. But I hope this will be the last year I get suckered into watching it. The auditions can be fun (again, ‘car-crash tv’), but once they get to the final 12 (or the final 16, or whatever number they decide) it quickly becomes boring. Yes, you can watch with incredulity that people actually pay money to vote for some of these acts (nearly fifteen and a half million votes were cast), and, like Jedward last year, there was some horrific fascination in watching Wagner’s progress. But there is only so much out-of-tune, out-of-time singing and ‘dancing’ I can stomach. There is nothing really offensive about Matt and Rebecca’s voices, but there is nothing stunning either - certainly no ‘x factor’, I thought Cher Lloyd was the only one who had anything remotely different about her. Another aspect which (I hope) will deter me from watching it again is the complete lack of content - Their performances take up such a small portion of the show’s running time. I’m not sad enough to have measured it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the adverts took up more time than the performances. And when you add up the constant re-showing of stuff you have already seen and the pointless dramatic pauses when the judges pretend to struggle with a decision, not to mention the endless repetition of clichés from the judges after they have waited for the audience to quieten down, it all adds up to very little indeed.
Unfortunately, whether I like it or not, there is very little I can do about it. While Simon, Cheryl, Louis and Danniiii escape from the X Factor juggernaut in a black helicopter as it crashes in a fireball finale, Matt Cardle, in his white van, races to No.1 in the Christmas charts despite valiant attempts from The Trashmen’s Surfin’ Bird and John Cage’s 4’33” to run him off the road. I enjoyed Radio 1’s dilemma when Reggie Yates was doing the run-down of the chart on Sunday night. When it came to John Cage’s new entry at No.21 would they play 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence? He announced that they would play 30 seconds of it, but they bottled it and only had about 10 seconds of absolute silence. What bemuses me, however, is who on earth pays to download four and a half minutes of silence? While I applaud the sentiment, I do not think it was the best conceived plan to de-rail the X Factor juggernaut. Surfin’ Bird was an inspired (a Family Guy inspired) choice for the anti-Matt Cardle song, but we need to think of something even more inspired for next year. Otherwise we risk X Factor getting even bigger and more pervasive.
Or, as the BBC suggested (in the 1970s, 80s and 90s),Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set and Go Out and Do Something Less Boring Instead?
Ever thoughtful, the great powers of BBC and ITV don’t want our Advent to be dull, grey and long, so, if you had checked your rear-view mirror a month ago, you cannot have failed to notice four monstrous juggernauts charging up behind you: I’m a celebrity, get me out of here (in its Leaf Green paintwork); The Apprentice (in Charcoal Grey livery with blue pinstripes); Strictly come dancing (in Canary Yellow with Rhinestone go-faster stripes); and The X Factor (in, as seen on the show, Antichrist Black with a big Red cross, the colour of teenage blood).
These four juggernauts have been roaring along for weeks, picking up momentum and obliterating everything else in their paths (except for the Coronation Street tram). You may have been momentarily distracted by catastrophic weather, student riots, royal engagements, FIFA farces and the steady dribble of WikiLeaks, but still these juggernauts retained the attention of the nation. In yesterday’ Sunday Times, for example, a quarter-page photo of Pamela Stephenson dominated page 4, for no real reason other than to say she was in Saturday night’s final (the results had obviously been too late to print). In the same newspaper, the wine columnist referred to The X Factor THREE times (there was a bit about wine towards the end).
It is car-crash tv. I liked to think I was above watching other people’s misfortune and humiliation, but, when it is there in front of you, it is hard to avert your eyes. In recent weeks BBC1 has had the excellent The Accused on Monday nights, but I am deeply ashamed to admit that I missed a couple when I’m a celebrity… was on.
Where the once unstoppable Big Brother slowly turned to rust and is now mercifully in the juggernaut scrap yard, I A C G M O O H has escaped reality fatigue mainly through the childishly watchable hosting of Ant and Dec, clever editing and some luck (who could have predicted that Shaun Ryder and Stacey Solomon would be such a winning combination?). The plight of Gillian McKeith was the epitome of ‘car-crash TV’ and although watching ‘celebrities’ reach as the struggle to swallow some squelchy morsel of antipodean fauna is getting a little old hat, genius ideas such as making some of them spies have kept it (relatively) fresh.
It is only during the last two series that I have been converted to The Apprentice, I think earlier glimpses of the rampant egos kept me away. However, this is part of the appeal. It is much more satisfying to watch someone with an inflated opinion of themselves crash and burn, rather than someone you liked. Even Stuart “I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m not a ten-trick pony, I’ve got a whole field of ponies” Baggs, who I had no time for initially, proved very entertaining - and you can’t really dislike someone who, on national television, described himself as ‘a bit of a cock’. After his departure I didn’t really care who won, but the way that both Stella and Chris came up with a new product, a good brand name and image under such pressure was very impressive.
I must be getting old. The idea of me enjoying a programme about ballroom dancing would have horrified my younger self. But, as people who voted for Ann Widdecombe and John Sergeant know, it is not about who is the best dancer. It is a combination of the celebrities, the dancers, the band, the staging, the slick hosting, the costumes, the lunacy of Claudia Winkleman and the pantomime judges. Chris and Ola proved last year that it is just as much a personality contest as a dance competition, which is why I think the slightly simpering Pamela Stephenson didn’t reach the final two.
But the biggest, most unstoppable juggernaut - overtaking Strictly’s ratings in the last couple of years - is The X Factor. I’ve moaned about it before…. But I still watch it. But I hope this will be the last year I get suckered into watching it. The auditions can be fun (again, ‘car-crash tv’), but once they get to the final 12 (or the final 16, or whatever number they decide) it quickly becomes boring. Yes, you can watch with incredulity that people actually pay money to vote for some of these acts (nearly fifteen and a half million votes were cast), and, like Jedward last year, there was some horrific fascination in watching Wagner’s progress. But there is only so much out-of-tune, out-of-time singing and ‘dancing’ I can stomach. There is nothing really offensive about Matt and Rebecca’s voices, but there is nothing stunning either - certainly no ‘x factor’, I thought Cher Lloyd was the only one who had anything remotely different about her. Another aspect which (I hope) will deter me from watching it again is the complete lack of content - Their performances take up such a small portion of the show’s running time. I’m not sad enough to have measured it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the adverts took up more time than the performances. And when you add up the constant re-showing of stuff you have already seen and the pointless dramatic pauses when the judges pretend to struggle with a decision, not to mention the endless repetition of clichés from the judges after they have waited for the audience to quieten down, it all adds up to very little indeed.
Unfortunately, whether I like it or not, there is very little I can do about it. While Simon, Cheryl, Louis and Danniiii escape from the X Factor juggernaut in a black helicopter as it crashes in a fireball finale, Matt Cardle, in his white van, races to No.1 in the Christmas charts despite valiant attempts from The Trashmen’s Surfin’ Bird and John Cage’s 4’33” to run him off the road. I enjoyed Radio 1’s dilemma when Reggie Yates was doing the run-down of the chart on Sunday night. When it came to John Cage’s new entry at No.21 would they play 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence? He announced that they would play 30 seconds of it, but they bottled it and only had about 10 seconds of absolute silence. What bemuses me, however, is who on earth pays to download four and a half minutes of silence? While I applaud the sentiment, I do not think it was the best conceived plan to de-rail the X Factor juggernaut. Surfin’ Bird was an inspired (a Family Guy inspired) choice for the anti-Matt Cardle song, but we need to think of something even more inspired for next year. Otherwise we risk X Factor getting even bigger and more pervasive.
Or, as the BBC suggested (in the 1970s, 80s and 90s),Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set and Go Out and Do Something Less Boring Instead?
Friday 17 December 2010
Wishing I was a Hedgehog
Been a bit slack in the blog writing department this week. It's not that I haven't had time, I just haven't been that stirred up to write. It's been quite an eventful week too, but, overall, a little disappointing.
All week the weather forecasters seem to have taken delight in warning us of the arctic conditions heading our way towards the end of the week. Why can't they look ahead and try to FORECAST when it might end? With five tests this week I was keeping fingers crossed that the snow and ice would stay away long enough for all the tests to go ahead.
With a good rate of test passes recently, it was statistically probable that I would eventually have a bad week; two passed, three failed. Congratulations to Andrew and Caroline; both passing first-time and both with only four minor faults.
The three that didn't pass were all perplexing. One failed for pulling up on a dropped curb, and the other two failed for exceeding the speed limit on the same stretch of road. All three were completely out of character and just silly mistakes to make. Maybe it was nerves, but it just suggests a lack of concentration.
When a pupil fails a driving test we identify the fault(s), analyse the possible consequences and try to find a remedy. Any trainee instructors will hopefully recognise this sequence as the three core competencies - essential to passing Part 3 of the ADI exam and essential in improving a pupil's performance. Identifying the fault is only the start, the pupil must understand why it is a fault and understand the consequences. Then a remedy must be found to avoid recurrence and build confidence.
In these three cases, however, fault identification was easy enough, the examiner did that, and analysis was straightforward, but I was scratching my head when it came to finding the remedy, other than (unnecessarily) saying "Don't do it again!" The first pupil has never had a problem with pulling up by the curb, and speed has never been an issue with the other two. All three of them are kicking themselves now, while I am left scratching my head.
It was only a matter of hours after the last test that the snow arrived. Not too much to start with. In fact, I was actually glad of the snow initially, as it coincided perfectly with Kim's Pass Plus session in Inverness (one of the Pass Plus modules is 'Bad weather driving'). However, by the end of my last lesson in Ullapool on Thursday evening, the snow was beginning to accumulate and drift, and the temperatures were falling fast. I had intended to stay overnight in Ullapool as I had lessons planned for Friday morning there, so, as usual, I wandered along to the weekly quiz at The Argyll. By the end of the evening there was talk in the pub of the A835, the Ullapool - Inverness road, being closed at the snow gates. I had a decision to make: Should I try to drive the 80 miles home before they shut the road, or should I hope that I would be able to get home Friday lunchtime. With heavy snow forecast overnight I decided to try to get home before the roads were closed. It wasn't as deep as I feared, but, at 20 - 40mph, it was a long drive home, especially as the snow had brought many deer closer to the road. Almost three hours later, I arrived home, safe, but wide awake after so much concentration.
Luckily, the 2nd day of the 3rd Ashes Test was about to start so I switched TMS on. After an hour England were 78-0 and surely on the verge of wrapping up the whole series. One Australian bookmaker had already begun paying out to people who had bet on England retaining the Ashes. Another forty-five minutes later and England had scored only 20 more runs for the sickening loss of FIVE wickets. The trauma was relieved by the players taking lunch and I fell asleep. I awoke nearly two hours later and was relieved to hear that no further wickets had been lost, with Bell beginning to build his innings. My awakening was badly timed, however, as, almost immediately, Prior was bowled out (unluckily). I then listened in horror as, within just over an hour, England completely collapsed - I bet the Australian bookie must have been kicking himself. I am a curse - I will not listen to any more live Ashes coverage... they do fine when I am sleeping.
It is now Friday lunchtime. I am hideously sleep-deprived, the weather is worsening (causing the weather forecasters to become almost perversely excited), diesel is £1.35 a litre in some places, I have just two lessons left today (after cancellations), England somehow contrived to end the day 200 runs behind Australia and it seems that the three pupils I mentioned earlier may have to wait until March for another crack at the driving test. All of which means I am far from feeling festive. To cap it all, the quiz team I am part of were finally defeated after 12 or 13 consecutive victories. Some weeks I just wish I could hibernate.
All week the weather forecasters seem to have taken delight in warning us of the arctic conditions heading our way towards the end of the week. Why can't they look ahead and try to FORECAST when it might end? With five tests this week I was keeping fingers crossed that the snow and ice would stay away long enough for all the tests to go ahead.
With a good rate of test passes recently, it was statistically probable that I would eventually have a bad week; two passed, three failed. Congratulations to Andrew and Caroline; both passing first-time and both with only four minor faults.
The three that didn't pass were all perplexing. One failed for pulling up on a dropped curb, and the other two failed for exceeding the speed limit on the same stretch of road. All three were completely out of character and just silly mistakes to make. Maybe it was nerves, but it just suggests a lack of concentration.
When a pupil fails a driving test we identify the fault(s), analyse the possible consequences and try to find a remedy. Any trainee instructors will hopefully recognise this sequence as the three core competencies - essential to passing Part 3 of the ADI exam and essential in improving a pupil's performance. Identifying the fault is only the start, the pupil must understand why it is a fault and understand the consequences. Then a remedy must be found to avoid recurrence and build confidence.
In these three cases, however, fault identification was easy enough, the examiner did that, and analysis was straightforward, but I was scratching my head when it came to finding the remedy, other than (unnecessarily) saying "Don't do it again!" The first pupil has never had a problem with pulling up by the curb, and speed has never been an issue with the other two. All three of them are kicking themselves now, while I am left scratching my head.
It was only a matter of hours after the last test that the snow arrived. Not too much to start with. In fact, I was actually glad of the snow initially, as it coincided perfectly with Kim's Pass Plus session in Inverness (one of the Pass Plus modules is 'Bad weather driving'). However, by the end of my last lesson in Ullapool on Thursday evening, the snow was beginning to accumulate and drift, and the temperatures were falling fast. I had intended to stay overnight in Ullapool as I had lessons planned for Friday morning there, so, as usual, I wandered along to the weekly quiz at The Argyll. By the end of the evening there was talk in the pub of the A835, the Ullapool - Inverness road, being closed at the snow gates. I had a decision to make: Should I try to drive the 80 miles home before they shut the road, or should I hope that I would be able to get home Friday lunchtime. With heavy snow forecast overnight I decided to try to get home before the roads were closed. It wasn't as deep as I feared, but, at 20 - 40mph, it was a long drive home, especially as the snow had brought many deer closer to the road. Almost three hours later, I arrived home, safe, but wide awake after so much concentration.
Luckily, the 2nd day of the 3rd Ashes Test was about to start so I switched TMS on. After an hour England were 78-0 and surely on the verge of wrapping up the whole series. One Australian bookmaker had already begun paying out to people who had bet on England retaining the Ashes. Another forty-five minutes later and England had scored only 20 more runs for the sickening loss of FIVE wickets. The trauma was relieved by the players taking lunch and I fell asleep. I awoke nearly two hours later and was relieved to hear that no further wickets had been lost, with Bell beginning to build his innings. My awakening was badly timed, however, as, almost immediately, Prior was bowled out (unluckily). I then listened in horror as, within just over an hour, England completely collapsed - I bet the Australian bookie must have been kicking himself. I am a curse - I will not listen to any more live Ashes coverage... they do fine when I am sleeping.
It is now Friday lunchtime. I am hideously sleep-deprived, the weather is worsening (causing the weather forecasters to become almost perversely excited), diesel is £1.35 a litre in some places, I have just two lessons left today (after cancellations), England somehow contrived to end the day 200 runs behind Australia and it seems that the three pupils I mentioned earlier may have to wait until March for another crack at the driving test. All of which means I am far from feeling festive. To cap it all, the quiz team I am part of were finally defeated after 12 or 13 consecutive victories. Some weeks I just wish I could hibernate.
Wednesday 8 December 2010
Grey clouds on the horizon... Yippee!
It's hard to imagine, that yesterday, when the temperature didn't get above -4C all day and actually dipped to -15C at 11.30am, that things could be worse. But conditions were actually much worse in the Central Belt where a combination of slush re-freezing, then more heavy snow and temperatures too low for grit to have an effect caused complete havoc on the motorways and roads around Edingburgh, Glasgow and Sterling. There were tales of people being stuck in their cars for over 20 hours. Not pleasant.
It was almost a relief when, on setting out for my first lesson this morning, the thermometer displayed only -4C
I had my first test cancellation of the winter today. My pupil was supposed to be taking her test in Elgin but the roads there are as bad as anywhere in the areas I cover. I had a chat with the examiners and they said that they did not expect any tests to be taking place in the near future.
However.....
I had a look at the Met Office website just now and tomorrow there are positive temperatures forecast for tomorrow, only 1 - 3 C in Inverness and Elgin, but a whopping 7C in Ullapool. Not only that, but on Friday and Saturday, the temperature could soar to a scorching 9 or 10C! Of course, every silver lining has a cloud, and heavy rain is the price we will have to pay for the comparative warmth.
I used to put as much trust in weather forecasts as I do in horoscopes, but they do seem to be more accurate these days and even if the temperatures forecast are a few degrees out, it should still be enough for a bit of a thaw. Not much of a consolation for my pupil, she has been so looking forward to (hopefully) passing her test, but who knows when it will be re-scheduled for.
It was almost a relief when, on setting out for my first lesson this morning, the thermometer displayed only -4C
I had my first test cancellation of the winter today. My pupil was supposed to be taking her test in Elgin but the roads there are as bad as anywhere in the areas I cover. I had a chat with the examiners and they said that they did not expect any tests to be taking place in the near future.
However.....
I had a look at the Met Office website just now and tomorrow there are positive temperatures forecast for tomorrow, only 1 - 3 C in Inverness and Elgin, but a whopping 7C in Ullapool. Not only that, but on Friday and Saturday, the temperature could soar to a scorching 9 or 10C! Of course, every silver lining has a cloud, and heavy rain is the price we will have to pay for the comparative warmth.
I used to put as much trust in weather forecasts as I do in horoscopes, but they do seem to be more accurate these days and even if the temperatures forecast are a few degrees out, it should still be enough for a bit of a thaw. Not much of a consolation for my pupil, she has been so looking forward to (hopefully) passing her test, but who knows when it will be re-scheduled for.
Monday 6 December 2010
You can tell I've got too much time on my hands today.....
I'm still wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes after clicking on the various clips on this page: http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/organgrinder/2010/dec/06/james-naughtie-jeremy-hunt-radio-4
When the going gets tough...
It is now nearly two weeks since the snow first arrived. I have given up cleaning my car for the moment; I should be cleaning the car more regularly to keep it clear of salt, grit and ice… maybe tomorrow.
The standard of driving around here has generally been good, but there have certainly been exceptions. Yesterday, I was on my way to Ullapool from early lessons in Inverness, with plenty of snow on the road and more snow falling. I was staggered to see a blue Subaru Impreza WRX overtake me, and the two cars immediately ahead of me, at a speed of at least 70mph. Granted, the WRX, with its all-wheel drive and low centre of gravity, will handle the conditions better than many cars, but it will still skid in a straight line once it loses traction. At 70mph that won’t be funny.
Someone tweeted “Drivers, if you are finding it difficult to control your car in these conditions, try ending your phone call and use both hands to hold the wheel.” The ones that really amaze me are when they have passengers, but it is the driver on the phone.
You may have heard that the police are getting tougher on motorists who fail to clear accumulations of snow from their roof. Apparently, this could lead to a £60 fine and 3 points on your licence. Far worse, it could lead to the snow sliding over your windscreen and your sudden loss of vision leading to a fatal accident. There have also been many reports of frozen blocks of snow flying off vehicles into the path of those following. A few days ago, my pupil had stopped at some traffic lights when car, with approximately 10cm on snow on the roof came up behind us. They braked and we watched as the entire load of snow slid forward and covered their windscreen. The lights changed to green and we drove off while the car behind remained stationary (to the irritation of following vehicle) while their windscreen wipers frantically tried to clear the snow. All it takes is about 20 seconds with a broom. On some forums I have seen people trying to justify that they can’t reach their roof. You have two options: Take an extra 30 seconds to get a stool, a step-ladder, or anything to give you enough height to clear the roof; or leave the snow on your roof and risk killing someone (maybe even yourself).
I have had a few more lessons cancelled, but I have been very impressed with my pupils’ attitude. Only two or three have cancelled because they don’t want to drive in these conditions; most of the cancellations have been because they live out of the area and have been unable to get transport to where I meet them (particularly in the case of my pupils from Kinlochbervie and Durness in the far north. I’m continually impressed with the dedication of these pupils to their lessons. Even in the best of conditions - my Kinlochbervie pupils have to make a 116 mile (three and a half hour) round trip to Ullapool for their lessons, while my pupils from Durness are even further away - 136 mile round trip (three hours, forty-five minutes).
I am really enjoying the lessons in the snow and ice. For their first lessons in these conditions I try to take them somewhere, such as an uncleared car park, where I can get them to safely brake normally to they can see how far the car will slide. Once they see this, I rarely have to tell them to brake on approach to junctions (and other hazards). It encourages them to look well ahead and come off the accelerator in plenty of time. I also explain how to use the gears and clutch effectively and, as a result, it can greatly improve their driving. If you are learning to drive and concerned about driving in these conditions, you may find that professional instruction in the snow and ice can substantially help your coordination of the controls (including steering). In fact, you don’t have to be a learner driver to benefit from qualified instruction.
So, apart from drivers who continue to use their phones while driving and people who can’t be bothered to take a moment to effectively clear their cars of snow and ice, the worst problem caused by these atrocious conditions is cancellation of tests. So far I have been lucky, as I have not had any tests scheduled for the past two weeks. However, I do have a few booked over the next fortnight and the forecast is not promising. I already have several pupils who are disappointed at the length of time they are having to wait for their test, so I am dreading test cancellations leading to the four month waiting times that we experienced earlier in the year. At least I know what I will be asking Father Christmas for - a heatwave.
The standard of driving around here has generally been good, but there have certainly been exceptions. Yesterday, I was on my way to Ullapool from early lessons in Inverness, with plenty of snow on the road and more snow falling. I was staggered to see a blue Subaru Impreza WRX overtake me, and the two cars immediately ahead of me, at a speed of at least 70mph. Granted, the WRX, with its all-wheel drive and low centre of gravity, will handle the conditions better than many cars, but it will still skid in a straight line once it loses traction. At 70mph that won’t be funny.
Someone tweeted “Drivers, if you are finding it difficult to control your car in these conditions, try ending your phone call and use both hands to hold the wheel.” The ones that really amaze me are when they have passengers, but it is the driver on the phone.
I have had a few more lessons cancelled, but I have been very impressed with my pupils’ attitude. Only two or three have cancelled because they don’t want to drive in these conditions; most of the cancellations have been because they live out of the area and have been unable to get transport to where I meet them (particularly in the case of my pupils from Kinlochbervie and Durness in the far north. I’m continually impressed with the dedication of these pupils to their lessons. Even in the best of conditions - my Kinlochbervie pupils have to make a 116 mile (three and a half hour) round trip to Ullapool for their lessons, while my pupils from Durness are even further away - 136 mile round trip (three hours, forty-five minutes).
I am really enjoying the lessons in the snow and ice. For their first lessons in these conditions I try to take them somewhere, such as an uncleared car park, where I can get them to safely brake normally to they can see how far the car will slide. Once they see this, I rarely have to tell them to brake on approach to junctions (and other hazards). It encourages them to look well ahead and come off the accelerator in plenty of time. I also explain how to use the gears and clutch effectively and, as a result, it can greatly improve their driving. If you are learning to drive and concerned about driving in these conditions, you may find that professional instruction in the snow and ice can substantially help your coordination of the controls (including steering). In fact, you don’t have to be a learner driver to benefit from qualified instruction.
So, apart from drivers who continue to use their phones while driving and people who can’t be bothered to take a moment to effectively clear their cars of snow and ice, the worst problem caused by these atrocious conditions is cancellation of tests. So far I have been lucky, as I have not had any tests scheduled for the past two weeks. However, I do have a few booked over the next fortnight and the forecast is not promising. I already have several pupils who are disappointed at the length of time they are having to wait for their test, so I am dreading test cancellations leading to the four month waiting times that we experienced earlier in the year. At least I know what I will be asking Father Christmas for - a heatwave.
In the bleak early winter
Sunday 5th December 20101.
Last winter I liked the snow when it first arrived, I looked forward to going sledging. It was only after a week of several cancelled lessons that I became weary of it. Last week, the snow arrived on Thursday afternoon and I was already sick of it by Friday morning.
Last Friday morning the plan had been for one of my Ullapool pupils to drive the 60 miles to Inverness for a lesson there, concentrating on roundabouts (there are none in Ullapool), then she would take the bus home. With the snowy conditions getting worse I gave her the option of just staying in Ullapool if she did not feel comfortable with the Inverness drive. After her lesson (in Ullapool), I drove back to Inverness for the afternoon’s lessons and was very relieved that my pupil had decided not to drive; the conditions en route were far worse than they had been in Ullapool. I may be biased, but I consider myself to be a competent, safe driver. It may be a 60mph road, but it was rarely safe to go above 40. That didn’t stop the idiot who overtook me when he had no way of knowing what was coming around the approaching bend. I dropped back to keep well clear of him as he tried to overtake the car ahead of me - his tyres weren’t gripping in the snow and the back of his car began fishtailing as he tried to accelerate. Finally he accepted that it was ridiculous trying to overtake in such conditions and pulled in behind the car. Part of me almost hoped that he had spun (safely) off the road, then, maybe, he might have learned how dangerously stupid he had been.
To be fair, I have been impressed with the driving of most people over the last week. The conditions have been lethal, even on the main roads. Of course, you get the odd numpty who drives too closely behind, at a distance that would be risky in good conditions, but most people seem to be patient and keeping at appropriate speeds (driving far too slowly is just as bad because it may encourage people to overtake when it is unsafe).
So far, I have only had 7 hours of cancellations due to the weather, so I am keeping everything tightly crossed in the hope that the thaw is not too far away. My pupils in Elgin have been most badly affected due to the continuing snow-fall. Saturday afternoon I completely cleared my car of snow and ice, only for it to be completely covered in 20cm of snow within a couple of hours. Inverness and Ullapool haven’t had quite as much snow, but the sub-zero temperatures mean that none of it is melting. Loch Glascarnoch (between Inverness and Ullapool) recorded -16°C on Sunday night, while Altnaharra (further north) dropped to -20°C two days later. This morning, in Ullapool, my car looked like a dirty, black ice-cube, but I had no lessons until 11am, by which time the sun had completely melted two sides of it. In fact, judging by the forecast, the West Highlands seem to have the best weather in almost the whole of the UK for the next few days - no more snow and even positive temperatures - but I’m still less than optimistic about the outlook in Moray.
It is at times like this - atrocious weather, etc - that the smallest crumbs of good news provide much needed relief. Today has been brightened up every half-hour when, during the sports news, the various correspondents all refer to West Ham Utd’s 4 - 0 victory over Manchester Utd as a ‘thrashing’. With Liverpool’s recent failure to build on good results (plus the loss of Steve Gerrard and Jamie Carragher to injury), it is always a warm consolation to see Sir Alex Ferguson's face (beneath his comedy pixie hat) and hear Man Utd fans unconvincingly trying to dismiss such results because ‘the Carling Cup doesn’t matter.’ One of life’s little pleasures.
Last winter I liked the snow when it first arrived, I looked forward to going sledging. It was only after a week of several cancelled lessons that I became weary of it. Last week, the snow arrived on Thursday afternoon and I was already sick of it by Friday morning.
Last Friday morning the plan had been for one of my Ullapool pupils to drive the 60 miles to Inverness for a lesson there, concentrating on roundabouts (there are none in Ullapool), then she would take the bus home. With the snowy conditions getting worse I gave her the option of just staying in Ullapool if she did not feel comfortable with the Inverness drive. After her lesson (in Ullapool), I drove back to Inverness for the afternoon’s lessons and was very relieved that my pupil had decided not to drive; the conditions en route were far worse than they had been in Ullapool. I may be biased, but I consider myself to be a competent, safe driver. It may be a 60mph road, but it was rarely safe to go above 40. That didn’t stop the idiot who overtook me when he had no way of knowing what was coming around the approaching bend. I dropped back to keep well clear of him as he tried to overtake the car ahead of me - his tyres weren’t gripping in the snow and the back of his car began fishtailing as he tried to accelerate. Finally he accepted that it was ridiculous trying to overtake in such conditions and pulled in behind the car. Part of me almost hoped that he had spun (safely) off the road, then, maybe, he might have learned how dangerously stupid he had been.
To be fair, I have been impressed with the driving of most people over the last week. The conditions have been lethal, even on the main roads. Of course, you get the odd numpty who drives too closely behind, at a distance that would be risky in good conditions, but most people seem to be patient and keeping at appropriate speeds (driving far too slowly is just as bad because it may encourage people to overtake when it is unsafe).
So far, I have only had 7 hours of cancellations due to the weather, so I am keeping everything tightly crossed in the hope that the thaw is not too far away. My pupils in Elgin have been most badly affected due to the continuing snow-fall. Saturday afternoon I completely cleared my car of snow and ice, only for it to be completely covered in 20cm of snow within a couple of hours. Inverness and Ullapool haven’t had quite as much snow, but the sub-zero temperatures mean that none of it is melting. Loch Glascarnoch (between Inverness and Ullapool) recorded -16°C on Sunday night, while Altnaharra (further north) dropped to -20°C two days later. This morning, in Ullapool, my car looked like a dirty, black ice-cube, but I had no lessons until 11am, by which time the sun had completely melted two sides of it. In fact, judging by the forecast, the West Highlands seem to have the best weather in almost the whole of the UK for the next few days - no more snow and even positive temperatures - but I’m still less than optimistic about the outlook in Moray.
It is at times like this - atrocious weather, etc - that the smallest crumbs of good news provide much needed relief. Today has been brightened up every half-hour when, during the sports news, the various correspondents all refer to West Ham Utd’s 4 - 0 victory over Manchester Utd as a ‘thrashing’. With Liverpool’s recent failure to build on good results (plus the loss of Steve Gerrard and Jamie Carragher to injury), it is always a warm consolation to see Sir Alex Ferguson's face (beneath his comedy pixie hat) and hear Man Utd fans unconvincingly trying to dismiss such results because ‘the Carling Cup doesn’t matter.’ One of life’s little pleasures.
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