The drugs don't work

Whilst I'm not exactly Brad Pitt, I am not usually concerned about showing my face in public. Not this morning though; I could do with a big paper bag to put over my head before I venture out in public. I am hideous.
A few days ago I felt a painful twinge as I bit into a ginger nut (nothing to do with Prince Harry in Vegas). My usual reaction to any bodily imperfection is just to ignore it. This twinge turned out to be an abscess that is currently growing to the size of an orange. Consequently, the left side of my face now looks like an unholy contortion of Timothy Spall, Marlon Brando in 'The Godfather', Monty Python's Mr. Creosote and a puffer fish. In my teens I could never have been a Goth because I couldn't suck my cheeks in enough, but at the moment I just look ridiculous.
I'm all for telling Jane to see a doctor if she is not well but, hypocritically, I won't take such advice myself.
Over the past few days my pupils have looked at me anxiously as my face continued to swell, and I have abstained from ginger biscuits. My personal philosophy is to 'grin and bear it'. Unfortunately, it has got to the point where, even if I could grin, I would probably look like some grotesque Halloween pumpkin and, last night, it got to the point where I could no longer bear it.
At the Argyll Quiz last night a member of our team looked me over.
"Looks nasty. Is it painful?"
"It's OK," (I'm such a martyr) "I've got some painkillers."
"Are they working?"
"No."
She looked around the room, "Here," she whispered, "try some of these." and she handed me a strip of pills.
"What are they?" I asked.
"They'll take away the pain." she answered vaguely.
Another member of the team went to the bar and came back with a whisky.
"Sloosh it around your mouth." she suggested.
"Can't I drink it?"
"Yes, but sloosh it first."
The whisky tasted very nice, the pills were disgusting. Neither did anything to take the pain away.
So, after grimacing my way through the first lesson, I was straight on the phone to the NHS dental hotline. I would like to have called a vet and asked them to put me down, but I was fairly sure they wouldn't oblige.
"Can you get to Lochinver?" they asked. I could, but it was nearly an hour further north, meaning I would be 2½ hours away from my afternoon lessons. There is no alternative. I will have to go.

(Later in the day) So I drove to the dentist at Lochinver. And very good they were too. I don't know what they injected me with, but it must have been pretty strong. I was aware of him applying considerable force to pull my tooth out, but I couldn't feel even the slightest twinge of pain..
..until the drive home.
The Assynt scenery between Lochinver and Ullapool is surely amongst the finest in the world. The sky was pure blue, the sun was shining brightly. I was as happy as could be, relieved that my toothache had gone. Then the numbing effect of the injections began to fade. JESUS! THE PAIN!!! I don't ever remember pain like it. The pain gradually increased until I was seriously wanting to turn around, go back to the dentist, and ask him to put the tooth back in... Anything to take away the agony. I stopped the car, I just couldn't concentrate on driving. I popped two of my painkillers and two of the pills that I had been given last night. I just wanted to curl up in the back of my car and sleep until the pain went. But I had lessons to get to. The sensible thing would have been to cancel the afternoon's lessons, but two of them were brand new pupils, so I really didn't want to.
Fortunately, as I neared Forres, the pills were finally kicking in. I explained to my new pupils that I don't normally look like this, but I didn't care what they thought I looked like, I was just relieved that I was able to concentrate on the lessons.
Never again. I'm not religious, but I'll believe in any god you like if it means I never have to go through that again. Either that or I find a quiz team with some decent drugs.

Get out of my way!

I vaguely remember, when I was training with BSM to become a driving instructor, all these different acronyms. POM (Prepare, Observe, Move) was one. MSM was the most well known, although this was often broken down into Mirror, Signal, Position, Speed, Gear, Look. And this was sometimes further complicated with the addition of LADA (Look Assess Decide Act). I quite like POM, but I don't really use any others because I, personally, don't find them helpful.
But I was reminded of LADA yesterday. It can be useful when approaching pedestrian crossings, meeting situations, and overtaking. The reason I was reminded of it was because, in the space of a few hours, I encountered three other drivers who ignored the Look - Assess part, and predetermined that they were going to overtake.
The first one was with a relatively new pupil in Ullapool. She was going carefully along a narrow road, with parked cars lining one side of the road. Quite correctly, she was going at a speed that she felt comfortable, given how close the parked cars were. The grey Fiesta behind us was getting uncomfortably close but I reassured my pupil that her speed was fine - the worst thing she could do would be to accelerate. A blind right-hand bend was approaching, but we discussed the possibility of making progress and picking up the speed IF the road after the bend was clear. As we came round the bend we could see a parked car on our side so she checked her mirrors, indicated and moved out to pass the parked car. I was horrified to see the following car had already decided to overtake, before they could have seen the road ahead and, when we indicated to overtake the parked car, I could see him throwing his arms in the air and shaking his head. Prat. I assume, from his reaction that he expected us to wait behind the parked car while he overtook, even though there was no way he could have seen it was safe to overtake. Later, after the lesson, I was hoping I would see the driver somewhere in the village so that I could suggest that the head-shaking should have been directed at his own driving.
Later, as I was driving to Inverness on a 60mph road, I came up behind a car that was going at approximately 50mph. Although the road was slightly winding, it was safe to get up towards the speed limit. As I waited, knowing that some safe overtaking opportunities were a few minutes ahead, a red Saab convertible came quickly up behind me. He immediately sat on my shoulder, with his right indicator on. There was absolutely no way he could safely overtake for at least half a mile because of the bends in the road, but he was arrogant enough to tell me he was going to overtake long before he knew whether it was possible. When a short straight appeared he overtook us both. Fifteen minutes later, as I neared Contin, I could see the red Saab, just three cars ahead, but with several cars and two lorries ahead of him. Once again, he had already decided he was going to overtake, and took a risky chance to do so..... just as a police car came round the corner. I wish I could have seen his expression.
Perhaps the sun had got to some people's heads because a very similar thing happened just a few minutes later. I thought the whole point of the Toyota Prius was to keep fuel costs and emissions to a minimum. That is all very commendable, unless you drive it like an idiot. Lots of heavy acceleration and braking (even in a Prius) means that you will use a LOT of fuel.
When you have a lot of flowing traffic ahead of you (especially in a single carriageway where the traffic is travelling at the speed limit), it is pointless overtaking. It is a bit like sitting at the back of a train and gradually making your way through the whole train to the front carriage, just so that you can get through the ticket inspection slightly ahead of other people.
I could see this Prius driver overtaking the odd car behind me, then me, then a few cars ahead of me - each time, he would accelerate hard, then have to brake hard to get back in his lane. Twenty minutes later he had got past maybe 7 or 8 vehicles. This would have cost him a lot of excess fuel but at least he will have reached his destination 30 seconds earlier than he would have done if he had patiently sat in the traffic flow.
I had a Pass Plus session with Catherine the other day and she described how, in the week since she passed her test, she had been frustrated by people driving far too slowly for the conditions. It is frustrating and you should overtake when it is necessary and safe to do so, otherwise a queue will begin to form. But when there are endless vehicles ahead, all traveling at (or close to the speed limit), ask yourself "What will I achieve if I try to overtake all these vehicles?" Answer: a quickly emptying fuel tank. Although, admittedly, your ambulance driver won't charge you for the final part of your journey.