I had a bit of a gap between two lessons the other day. I parked by Elgin library and sat in my car, catching up with some paperwork. A navy blue, 16 year-old Ford Granada (remember them?) parked opposite and a man, in his late 30s/early 40s got out, wearing a navy windcheater with double white stripes on the arms. He then spent the next hour applying white 'go-faster' stripes to the sides of his car (presumably so that it would match his windcheater). He took so much care applying these stripes. He would apply a metre, or so, then step back to check that it was straight; re-applying when necessary. When he finally finished he stepped back and appraised his efforts from every angle possible.
On the face of it, not a very interesting story, but I was quite touched by the pride that he took in his car - it was a curious wee vignette on this man's life. Such a shame then, that, when he got back in his car and drove off, I got to see the unsightly dents in the other side of the car - but at least he had skilfully applied the stripes with absolute precision across the dents.
Jane (my wife) and I have just returned from the opening concert at Speyfest, Fochabers. We went mainly to see Julie Fowlis, who we both think is a talent beyond compare. She was actually supporting The Dougie MacLean band. We didn't know much about him, other than that he wrote 'Caledonia', which, for those of you on the wrong side of the border, has been the anthem of Scotland's 2009 Homecoming year.
With almost unrivalled experience of what a busy bar can be like (from both sides), the bar at the venue was a welcome surprise. A long bar, with about a dozen bar-staff, I was waiting at the bar, surrounded by hundreds of people, wondering what were the odds of getting served before the music started. In these situations, it is so hard for the barstaff to know who is 'next'. The girl behind the bar finished serving someone and then asked 'Yes?', while looking at a man a couple of metres from me. He said 'This lady is next' (pointing at the lady next to him), who, in turn, said 'But this man is before me (pointing at me)'. I almost wanted to find someone in the crowd who might possibly have been waiting longer than me. A bit different to New Years' Eves at The Prince of Wales Feathers!
Julie Fowlis, with her incredibly talented band (including Duncan Chisholm on the fiddle), was just sensational: Funny, modest, involving and blessed with talents that would make Simon Cowell implode (hopefully). The music was incredibly evocative, mesmeric and enchanting. If you ever get the chance to see her live, GO! You will not regret it.
The Dougie MacLean band seemed to be keenly anticipated, but I just found them....... dull. I was going to say 'soporific' (a clock has more variety in tempo), but the way he introduced EVERY song by reciting the chorus beforehand and urging the audience to join in, repeating the chorus endlessly until he got the required response, was such a nerve-pricking irritant that sleep was out of the question. I ached for The Damned to charge the stage and launch into an electrified rendition of 'Smash it up'.
I bet Dougie MacLean has never had 'go-faster' stripes... on anything.
Thursday 30 July 2009
Tuesday 28 July 2009
Do you remember the first time?
.... or the 2nd? 3rd? 9th?!! I barely remember my driving test. I remember being told that EVERYONE in our family, right back to before cars were even invented, had passed 1st time; so no pressure at all, then. I also remember the lesson before being absolute rubbish - I couldn't do a thing. There is no doubt, the driving test was SO much easier then than it is now. We didn't have to pass a Theory Test beforehand, we just had to answer a few questions on the Highway Code at the end of the drive. I took my test in Leighton Buzzard - surely it would be easier than Luton. I remember having to do a Turn in the road (we called it a 3 point turn then), a Left Reverse and an Emergency Stop. I remember stalling THREE times! I was a wreck. I was fed up at having failed and blighted the family tradition. At the end of the test the examiner asked me a few questions about road signs etc. What was the point? Just hurry up and tell me I've failed. "How often should you check your mirrors?" "What? Um... every ten seconds?" He just sat there and looked at his watch for ten seconds... it seemed to take forever. "Um... maybe every five seconds then?" He looked at his watch for five seconds. Even that seemed to last a long time. What was the point of this?! "Quite often then" was my pitiful final answer. He looked at me, got out his pen to fill in the form and said "Mr Rutter, I'm pleased to tell you you've passed". I sat there, utterly pissed off, for quite a few seconds before it sank in what he actually said. "I'VE PASSED!!!!" There can't be many more extreme moodswings.
If you read my earlier post, you may be pleased to hear that Piotr passed his test. He has been a qualified driver in Poland for a few years, but needed a UK licence. After some polishing (no pun intended), he took his first test a couple of months ago. For some unknown reason, on that test, he decided to drive with excessive caution - doing 35mph on 60mph roads - and failed. After that I told him to drive 'normally' (how he had been driving), to make progress and get the car up to appropriate speeds. I became a little concerned yesterday when, in the hour lesson before his test, he was going just a little too fast. His English isn't great (although better than my Polish), so I had to make sure he understood what I meant. I told him to pretend that the examiner was holding a cup of hot coffee, which musn't spill, but he should try to get round before the coffee got too cold. He passed with only 4 minors (one of which was for the 'show me/tell me' questions). His smile could not have been bigger. Lots of vigorous handshaking and then he was insistent I came back into Elgin tonight so that he could buy me some beers. It was, as they say, the thought that counted. Tempting though it was, a few beers would not have been the most sensible thing to do when my livelihood depends upon my licence (I cannot say/write 'livelihood' without thinking of Tommy Cooper).
It's not nice for me when a pupil fails. But, for those first few minutes after they have been told they have passed, this is the best job in the world.
If you read my earlier post, you may be pleased to hear that Piotr passed his test. He has been a qualified driver in Poland for a few years, but needed a UK licence. After some polishing (no pun intended), he took his first test a couple of months ago. For some unknown reason, on that test, he decided to drive with excessive caution - doing 35mph on 60mph roads - and failed. After that I told him to drive 'normally' (how he had been driving), to make progress and get the car up to appropriate speeds. I became a little concerned yesterday when, in the hour lesson before his test, he was going just a little too fast. His English isn't great (although better than my Polish), so I had to make sure he understood what I meant. I told him to pretend that the examiner was holding a cup of hot coffee, which musn't spill, but he should try to get round before the coffee got too cold. He passed with only 4 minors (one of which was for the 'show me/tell me' questions). His smile could not have been bigger. Lots of vigorous handshaking and then he was insistent I came back into Elgin tonight so that he could buy me some beers. It was, as they say, the thought that counted. Tempting though it was, a few beers would not have been the most sensible thing to do when my livelihood depends upon my licence (I cannot say/write 'livelihood' without thinking of Tommy Cooper).
It's not nice for me when a pupil fails. But, for those first few minutes after they have been told they have passed, this is the best job in the world.
Monday 27 July 2009
Tina Needham - Rest in peace
Tina & Rob were locals at a pub I used to run, The Cross Keys in Totternhoe, Bedfordshire. A retired couple, they were fun and good company; he was extrovert and charming, she was polite but with an accurate and relaxed wit. When Rob passed away in the late 90s Tina continued to live life with a sense of adventure.
Over the last couple of years Tina's health suffered and repeated visits to the doctor were dismissed with diagnoses of anaemia. Unfortunately, this 'anaemia' turned out to be cancer and, by the time it was discovered, early this year, it was widespread and terminal.
Very sadly, Tina died this weekend, peacefully, after spending her last few days in a coma.
Although, since moving to Scotland, we saw little of Tina in the last few years, her delightful personality, warmth and wit means that I can picture her and hear her now, as clearly as if she were sitting in front of me (with a glass of Glayva in her hand).
Her keen mind meant that she was fixture at local quizzes; she was our Arts and Sports specialist. She seemed to know every character of every book and there was nothing you could teach her about Arsenal FC and Test Cricket. In fact, my eternal memory of her will be of the time we went to a rather well-to-do charity quiz. It was a bit 'above our station' (not Tina's though) and, with all the other teams sitting expectantly with their solitary bottle of wine on each table, we seemed a little out of place with our half-case of wine and packs of beer. I chose our team's name (to Tina's mock disapproval) and proposed Tina as our captain. As the quiz was about to start the compere asked each captain to stand and give the team's name. After all the usual boring team names - 'Grey matter', 'Selena's Select', 'The Dark Horses' etc - Tina stood, paused, and in her perfectly enunciated, slightly plummy voice, proclaimed "We are the 'Slippery Nipples'.... Only a few embarrassed gasps and titters broke the silence. That moment will always stay with me. No-one else could have said it with greater effect. Of course, the compere seemed somewhat uncomfortable giving the team scores throughout the course of the evening, but had given up being embarrassed once we had gone into the lead - a lead we kept until the end of the quiz when Tina and her Slippery Nipples were applauded as they stepped up to collect their prize.
Tina R.I.P
Over the last couple of years Tina's health suffered and repeated visits to the doctor were dismissed with diagnoses of anaemia. Unfortunately, this 'anaemia' turned out to be cancer and, by the time it was discovered, early this year, it was widespread and terminal.
Very sadly, Tina died this weekend, peacefully, after spending her last few days in a coma.
Although, since moving to Scotland, we saw little of Tina in the last few years, her delightful personality, warmth and wit means that I can picture her and hear her now, as clearly as if she were sitting in front of me (with a glass of Glayva in her hand).
Her keen mind meant that she was fixture at local quizzes; she was our Arts and Sports specialist. She seemed to know every character of every book and there was nothing you could teach her about Arsenal FC and Test Cricket. In fact, my eternal memory of her will be of the time we went to a rather well-to-do charity quiz. It was a bit 'above our station' (not Tina's though) and, with all the other teams sitting expectantly with their solitary bottle of wine on each table, we seemed a little out of place with our half-case of wine and packs of beer. I chose our team's name (to Tina's mock disapproval) and proposed Tina as our captain. As the quiz was about to start the compere asked each captain to stand and give the team's name. After all the usual boring team names - 'Grey matter', 'Selena's Select', 'The Dark Horses' etc - Tina stood, paused, and in her perfectly enunciated, slightly plummy voice, proclaimed "We are the 'Slippery Nipples'.... Only a few embarrassed gasps and titters broke the silence. That moment will always stay with me. No-one else could have said it with greater effect. Of course, the compere seemed somewhat uncomfortable giving the team scores throughout the course of the evening, but had given up being embarrassed once we had gone into the lead - a lead we kept until the end of the quiz when Tina and her Slippery Nipples were applauded as they stepped up to collect their prize.
Tina R.I.P
Sunday 26 July 2009
Fifth gear review
Just perusing BSM's website for more information about the new cars and stumbled happily upon this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8cYpSPJ_g4
My objections are shrinking.
My objections are shrinking.
Hello, good morning and welcome
A momentous event - my first post. What do I put? OK... this will mainly be about life as a driving in
structor, but my thoughts may wander.A bit of background I think:
BSM have just announced that they have signed a new deal with Fiat and are ending their current deal with Vauxhall. I currently have a Corsa diesel (see wee photo), but some instructors choose a slightly more expensive franchise to drive an Astra (we have another car, so we don't need the larger Astra). The new deal is to provide BSM instructors with the Fiat 500 (see big photo). My thoughts were mixed, initially (no change there then), but I am quite looking forward to it now. However, many instructors - particularly those with Astras - are outraged by the deal. I can sympathise; it is quite a drastic change and many instructors have their BSM Astra as their only car. I believe that BSM and Fiat should amend the deal so that instructors have the opportunity to teach in a larger car, such as the Grande Punto. Many instructors are threatening to leave BSM, and many of those are saying they will join the AA. But.... the AA are also rumoured to be changing their deal with Ford (Focus) to Citroen. Anyway, I will post when/if the situation changes.
Meanwhile, I have been asking a few pupils what they think of the Fiat 500:
Jamie: "It's neat. Will it have the same indicators though?" (Vauxhall have the most stupid indicators ever devised... I would almost rather my pupils used hand signals).
Darren: Hmmm... It's quite.... Dinky. Looks fun though".
Adam: "Honestly? I don't like it".
I will continue to poll my pupils and bring you their considered appraisals.
I don't usually give lessons on Sunday - it is nice to have one day off - but Adam only lives up the road, so I don't mind. He is progressing very well and, after only 9 hours, seems quite comfortable driving around Elgin. I taught him Emergency Stop (no problems) and Parallel Park today. I seem to be finding that, instead of giving precise instruction (reference points, how much to turn the wheel) for parallel parking, my pupils are learning more quickly by working it out for themselves - I just have to tell them where to start from and where they should be looking. It is an ongoing experiment, but I suspect there will be many I have to revert to full instruction for.
An early start tomorrow. Piotr's (2nd) test is at 8.40am, so I am picking him up from Lhanbryde at 7.30. (Obviously) I hope he passes. He was surprisingly upset after his first attempt. He explained "I may look like bastard, but here (pointing to chest) I am soft" (to be read in a Polish accent).
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