Wheelie bins and wondrous calculations

Yes, I'm still here and, no, you haven't really missed anything. Actually, you have, but don't worry, it was nothing life-changing.
It's six in the morning on a cold November day and I've got to crank my mind and body up for a busy day of driving tests and lessons. Five lessons, plus no less than TEN driving tests! Surely this must be a world record with driving tests? Has anyone (at least in Britain) had ten of their pupils (nine of them having their first attempt) taking their tests in the same day?
This has all come about because two examiners are coming to Ullapool today. The reasons are too long-winded to explain. Usually we get one examiner, conducting six tests on one day in each month. This is always a Wednesday. For some unknown reason, this month and next are on Tuesdays though.
I was with a pupil last week and we were practising turning the car around in the road (three point turn). I pointed out that, being a Wednesday, the wheelie bins were out in the road, ready for collection.
"Remind me of your test date" I asked him.
"January 29th."
"OK, so that's a Wednesday," I replied. I knew it was simply because it is only November and December that have tests on a Tuesday, "so, the wheelie bins will be something to consider on the day of your test."
He looked at me with a stunned expression.
"How did you work that out so quickly?"
Perhaps I should have given him some BS about calendars, leap years and perhaps some quadratic equations, but I boringly told him the truth.
He looked very disappointed. "So no hidden talents then?"
"No," I sighed, "no hidden talents."

Matthew's big day

Matthew's test was scheduled at 9.37am; a nice time, I think, after rush hour, but before Inverness' traffic really gets going. So we could afford to have a relaxed start to the day, with tea, bacon sandwiches and (not so relaxed) The William Tell Overture (The theme from The Lone Ranger) to liven us up.
There have been all sorts of roadworks and changes to the road system in the area around Inverness test centre recently, so we wanted a relaxed drive around the area before the test. With fifteen minutes to go it was time to turn the car round in the road and head towards the test centre. Matt seemed fine, but I was the one getting nervous, and this wasn't helped by the amount of traffic delaying his turn in the road.
"What time is my test?" asked Matthew, at 9.30am, as we approached the test centre.
"We've got plenty of time." I reassured, but anxiously aware that we only had a few minutes to spare. 

With every test I always get a little...... not nervous, but concerned. I only bring a pupil to test if I am confident that they are fine driving on their own. They don't have to be perfect (like Sarah last month), but they have to make me feel relaxed and confident in their ability. Matthew certainly drove like that. I had no doubts at all about his ability to drive but...... It is a test. And you never know what someone will do in test conditions.

For those of you who might not know, I'll explain the procedure: Matthew meets the examiner, who checks both parts of his licence and asks Matthew to sign a declaration that the car is insured and that he has lived in the UK for 6 out of the previous 12 months. The examiner then asks Matthew if he would like me to sit in on the test (he did). We walk out to the car park and the examiner checks his eyesight by asking him to read a number plate from 25 - 30m (the requirement is 20m). Then we approach the car and the examiner asks him two 'show me/tell me' questions. An incorrect answer incurs a 'driving fault' (Matthew answered both of his correctly). You will pass your test if you make 15 or fewer driving faults and no serious (or dangerous) faults. A dangerous fault is one that involves actual danger to anyone (including you and the examiner) or to any property. A serious fault is one that could potentially have been dangerous. A driving fault is one that, at the time, was not considered potentially dangerous, but making the same driving fault throughout your test could become a serious fault. Once we are all sat in the car, the examiner explains that the test will last approximately 45 minutes and that he is to follow the road ahead unless road markings or signs indicate otherwise. If the examiner wants you to turn left or right he will ask you in good time. For me, sitting in the back, I have to keep quiet and can have no influence. Sometimes the examiner might include me in the conversation, but, as a rule, I have to sit tight and shut up.

The examiner decided to get the reversing manoeuvre out the way and asked Matthew to pull out to the left or the right, straighten up, then reverse back into a bay. He is looking for control, accuracy and effective observation. This had been Matthew's least favourite manoeuvre, but he executed it perfectly.

He drove off and I began to relax. Really nice driving. Good approach to junctions and hazards. Over halfway through the test and absolutely nothing he could be faulted for; slightly over-cautious in a couple of meeting situations, but I would far rather he was cautious than take chances. We then came to a reasonably straight 30mph road with a bin lorry emptying the bins up ahead. Just beyond was a parked van on the other side of the road. If he acted quickly, he could comfortably overtake the bin lorry and safely return to his side of the road before the van became a problem. He hesitated and held back, just a fraction. The opportunity was then lost as the bin lorry neared the van and we had to wait until another gap appeared when the bin lorry had passed the white van. Hmmm. The examiner did not register anything on his sheet, but he might wait until later. It was certainly nothing serious though. 

Matthew continued to drive very nicely, dealing with some tough situations. The examiner asked him to pull over, then explained that the next section would be when he wanted Matthew to drive independently. For this part, they can either ask you to follow road signs (for example, 'follow road signs to Fort William'), or they can give you a series of directions (as opposed to step by step directions). He gave Matthew a combination of both. "I would like you to turn right at the end of the road, turn left at the next two roundabouts, then follow signs to Aberdeen." He then asked Matthew to repeat the instruction. There was a few minutes between the two roundabouts and, approaching the second, I thought his indicator was a touch early. Although there was no road between us and the roundabout, indicate too early and it could look as though you are parking. For the first time, I noticed the examiner put something on his marking sheet. Even though I thought the signal was only slightly early, I still worried that the examiner might have viewed it as serious. Ridiculous, because I knew it wasn't potentially dangerous, but I still worried.

I guess it was partly because there was definitely slightly more pressure on Matthew and me than usual. There is pressure on every test, if only because no-one wants to spend another £62 on a second attempt, but failing your test is NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. You have waited at least 17 years to get your licence. so it really is no big deal if you have to wait another few weeks (Ten working days is the minimum, but, in practice, it can be a lot more before you get another attempt). With Matthew, he was flying back to England the next day and, although his driving was easily good enough to pass wherever he chose to take his test, we really had been building up to this moment. And I know that his parents (my brother, Chris, and his wife, Sondra) would not have given it a thought if he doesn't pass but.......... I guess that, whenever someone doesn't pass, I always wonder if I have missed something in their instruction.

So now we were following signs to Aberdeen, through the busy Raigmore Interchange, and heading east on the A96. The examiner then asked him to follow signs to Culloden and Balloch. This took him right on a roundabout and into a slightly unusual road. Unusual in that it had regular streetlights, but was in fact a 60mph road. As he came off the roundabout he seemed to be slow getting the car going. With slight alarm I realised that he presumed that the street lighting mean that it was a 30mph speed limit. I could do nothing. I sat there, siliently urging him to look ahead where, in the distance, I knew there would be a reminder speed sign. fortunately he saw it, checked his mirrors to make sure that no-one was about to overtake, and put his foot down to get it up towards the speed limit. Eek. How would the examiner view that? Any vehicle behind would have expected him to accelerate towards 60mph after the roundabout, and may have been tempted to overtake when he was slow to do so. But, he had seen the first reminder sign and, importantly, had checked his mirrors before accelerating. I thought it could be viewed as a driving fault, but surely nothing serious?

Not far from the test centre now, but the bin lorry and the failure to see the national speed limit sign were heavy on my mind. As far as I was concerned, they were not serious, but I was not the one examining Matthew. Back at the test centre, he pulled carefully into a bay and the examiner asked him to switch off the engine. He looked down at his sheet and said "I'm pleased to tell you, Matthew, that you have passed." After the formalities of handing over the provisional licence and the paperwork, he quickly explained that he had recorded just two driving faults; one for hesitation at the bin lorry, and the other for indicating too early for the roundabout. He was obviously happy with the way Matthew realised that he was initially too slow, and corrected it, after the Culloden roundabout.

Matthew was delighted. It had been a very competent drive and to pass, first time, with just two driver errors is an excellent result. But it was well deserved. He had driven in every area I cover, from Elgin in the east, right up to Ullapool in the north-west, all of which provided different challenges. Jane rewarded him by taking him to sunny Findhorn for a walk on the beach and lunch outside the pub, overlooking Findhorn Bay, while I continued with quest to bring all my pupils to Matthew's standard.

The countdown.....

The day after Ben Wyvis was a little painful, but I was pleased how quickly the aching disappeared (unlike the blisters). Meanwhile, Matthew was progressing nicely. He was still sitting in on lessons (as long as my pupils were in agreement) and getting as much driving as possible inbetween. He asked if I could give him a mock test.
"We can do that, " I replied, "but I warn you that I will be strict and pick up on the slightest imperfection, otherwise there is no point."
I thought it went well, considering that we still had a week to go. I can't remember exactly, but I recorded just 5 driver errors (minor faults, if you prefer). But there were three moments I considered were serious.
He switched off the engine. "How do you think that went?" I asked him.
"Yeah, I thought that went well."
"Anything you weren't happy with?" and he talked about a couple of the things I had recorded as a minor driver error.
"How about the time when you moved out to allow traffic onto the A9 (dual-carriageway)? Your awareness and use of mirrors was really good, then you went passed them, but when should you have returned to the left lane?"
His face dropped a little, "The lane was busy."
"It was, but you had plenty of opportunity to return to the left lane earlier than you did."
"Then, toward the end, when I asked you to turn right at the roundabout, taking the fourth exit to Culloden, how were people to know where you were going?"
"I know, I forgot to indicate," he replied, "but I was watching the man at the pedestrian crossing."
"Yes, which obviously is good, but people approaching the roundabout still need to know where you are going." I don't think he was convinced. The trouble is, he sees no end of drivers approaching roundabouts (junctions) without indicators, so it might be understandable that he didn't consider it serious.
I'm struggling to remember what the other serious fault was, but I remember Matthew only grudgingly agreeing with me.
He was very quiet for a few hours afterwards. "Don't worry about it. There was no point doing a 'mock test' unless I picked up on everything that wasn't correct."
"I know, but three serious faults.'
"Yeah, but you (hopefully) understand why those things could have affected other road users, and (hopefully, again) you won't repeat them." He still wasn't happy.
The rest of the week continued to go well - more lessons, then, finally, a day off for Matthew while Joanna was busy passing her test in Elgin. "Can we do another mock test?" Matthew asked. We had two days to go. Would we be better off working on his weakness? And would a 'negative' result knock his confidence? But he really wanted another mock test, so I reminded him that I would be strict again.
At the end of the mock test I asked him "Ok, how do you think it went this time?"
He was hesitant, but I could see he wasn't disappointed. "I thought it was better."
"Anything that you think caused anyone else a problem? Or could have caused a problem?" He wasn't too sure.
"Just three minor errors this time, but......... (drumroll)..... No serious faults this time." His face lit up. "It was a nice drive. You just need to be a bit more aware of road signs and take in what information they give you. But carry on driving like that and you'll be fine."
The next day, inbetween lessons, we worked on his awareness and anything I thought could be polished further. He wanted an early night, but I thought that would be pointless, so Jane joined us for a trip to the cinema to see The Lone Ranger, which I thought was a bit too long, although good in parts. But Matthew loved it, and it did the job of taking his mind off the test.
I think I was getting more nervous than he was. Big day tomorrow.

Windswept and interesting

The next few days Matthew progressed nicely, picking up knowledge from sitting in on lessons, then putting it into practice when we had time between lessons. But I was concerned that it was all getting a bit concentrated. Time for a break.
A week or two ago my daughter, Rachel, had suggested that we all climb Ben Wyvis, the 3,432" mountain that dominates the landscape North of Inverness. The name derives from the Gaelic Beinn Uais, which apparently translates as Hill of terror. Of course, often when such things are suggested, everyone seems keen initially, but nothing happens. This time it actually went ahead.
Matthew and I were driving/instructing in Ullapool during the morning and arranged to meet everyone else at the car park, a few miles north of Garve, at 3.00pm. Of course, after weeks of calm, sunny days, the weather was now looking slightly menacing and the wind was really beginning to whip up.

Corrieshalloch Gorge

Corrieshalloch Gorge

Matthew and I took a very slight detour to Corrieshalloch Gorge, 12 miles south of Ullapool. The photos don't do it justice. The drop from the suspension bridge is just terrifying. But, if ever you are anywhere near Ullapool, it is well worth the short trip.

Matthew at Corrieshalloch Gorge

We met the others, as arranged. There was Jane, my wife, Rachel and her fiance, Jamie, and our eldest three grandchildren, Jordan, Charlie and Carmen, plus Jordan's friend, Job. I haven't told you about Dolly yet. She is our 'new' Jack Russell terrier. Actually, she is a year old now, and I will probably tell you more about her at some point. Anyway, she came too.

 Not everyone was suitably attired - Rachel thought Ugg boots were appropriate - but we were not in any hurry and the ground was dry. Off we marched, Jordan and his friend up at the front, and me at the back, lying to my grand-daughter Charlie about how much further it was. The initial approach is a long, continuous rise and a bit of a slog. Charlie was finding it hard going and, to my concern, so was I. For someone that, in the past, has run marathons, cycled from John O'Groats to Lands End and ascended peaks like this with ease, it was alarming how unfit I had become. It must be at least a couple of years since I have done any proper exercise and I was playing the consequences. My legs were fine, but my lungs just weren't accustomed to being used and I was beginning to think that I would have to tell the others to carry on to the top without me. The really embarrassing thing was we weren't even a quarter of the way up.
Every now and then, someone would stop to take a breather, have a drink, adjust clothing, or simply stop to admire the increasingly spectacular view. To my enormous relief, this gave my lungs time to adjust and, after a while, I was absolutely fine and stomping up the mountain without the slightest discomfort.
The thing with mountains is that the summit always seems much closer than it really is, usually because the true summit can't be seen from the slopes. The slope was getting steeper, the path was becoming increasingly zig-zaggy, the wind was becoming a roaring gale and we were all struggling. As we sheltered from the wind behind a mound of boulders, we decided that the sensible thing was to stop climbing and head back down the mountain. The climb itself was not too dangerous, but the wind was incredible.

But Jamie, Job, Matthew and I (with Dolly, of course) are not sensible, and carried on to the top (hopefully). The zig-zag nature of the path mean that sometimes we had our heads right down, using every muscle to push ourselves into the wind, then, as we turned the other way, the wind would push us up the hill - a relief, but you had to be careful not to let it push you too fast. Job decided it was too much and found more boulders to shelter and wait for us. Even Dolly was beginning to tremble. My legs were beginning to burn and my lungs had pushed my ribs to breaking point. The wind roared in my ears, caused my jacket to inflate and flap around me. My cheeks felt like they were being torn from my face, and streams of tears and snot flew from my eyes and nose, high up into the air, and off towards an unsuspecting fisherman, somewhere off the coast of Norway.

Near the top

After what seemed an age, Matthew, Dolly, Jamie and I finally reached the summit. Strictly speaking, it wasn't the very highest point - that was further along the long, humped ridge - but that was a walk, rather than a climb, so we decided that we need go no further. We sat, almost in silence. Funnily enough, the wind wasn't so bad right at the top, almost as though it had admitted defeat. There was no low cloud to obscure the view, so we could see forever in every direction. Sunbeams danced around the scenery, rivers seemed like tiny silver ribbons and clouds raced across the surrounding hills. It was enough to make you feel like a god. An utterly, utterly shagged god, but still a god.

Matthew, Dolly and I at the top

Jamie and I at the summit of Ben Wyvis

Matthew, Jamie and Dolly

The initial part of the descent was steep and totally unforgiving. My legs muscles burned with every step and my sinews and cartilage around my knees had turned to soup (Mulligatawny). Even Dolly was beginning to slow down. Until now she had been scooting up and down the mountain, probably covering at least twice the distance that we poor humans managed. Eventually, the slope began to level out a bit, giving very welcome relief, but it was a seemingly endless trek back to the car. By the time we finally reached the cars I was blistered, aching in virtually every part of my body and my lower jaw hung like an extra from the film Deliverance. But would I do it all again? Of course! Just give me a year to recover.

The first few days

Picking Matthew up from Inverness airport went smoothly. We had 40 minutes to kill, so I did a bit of commentary driving to give him a taste of the city and what things he should be considering whilst driving. I then had a lesson with Jade. I had already asked most of my pupils if they would mind Matthew sitting in on the lesson, and almost all of them were quite relaxed about it.
I had already planned to base Jade's lesson on anticipation, use of mirrors and emergency stops. No reason to alter that plan. Besides, it would liven Matthew up after his flight. The first two emergency stops were slightly cautious, but the third was excellent - it certainly did the job of waking Matthew up.
Matthew had already done a bit of driving with his dad, and felt confident(ish) about driving from Jade's house to the petrol station. Unfortunately, it seemed that someone had kindly abandoned their car at the pump while they did their weekly shop in the petrol station, and, as a consequence, vehicles were having to queue back out onto the dual-carriageway. I talked him carefully through it, but, later, when Jane asked him about his day, he described that bit as 'carnage'.
After that, we took turns to drive to Ullapool, then he sat patiently in the back of the car, watching lessons with Peter, Isobel, Chanel and Katie. The last pupil was a brand new pupil, so I suggested he wait in The Ceilidh Place, as I didn't think it would be fair on the pupil.
Day two was similar. Not too much driving for Matthew, but sitting in on lessons with Caitlin, Brian and Jade in Inverness, then lessons with Becky, Ben and Niall in Ullapool. However, I suggested that he drove the eighty mile journey home. Not too technical, but a good opportunity to get him reading the road well ahead at 60mph and adjusting his speed in plenty of time. It was a very promising drive until the very end when he stalled just outside our house, much to his frustration.
Day three: A one hour lesson with Sophie in Auldearn, then a two hour lesson with Jack in Forres/Elgin. So still not too much driving for Matthew (apart from sometimes driving between lessons), but he said that, sitting in the back, he was leaning a lot.
Next pupil, in Forres, was James. James was close to being the perfect pupil: He is always outside waiting at the start of each lesson; he usually has 2 1/2 hours a week (and has NEVER cancelled). And, he listens to every suggestion I make about how to improve his driving, then tries to work on it. He went for his driving test a few weeks ago (in Elgin) and shocked me by picking up one serious fault: Early on in the test a bus, in front of him, had indicated that it was going to stop. With oncoming traffic there was no immediate chance of overtaking, so James decided to slow right down and select first gear. All very sensible. Unfortunately, he put it into first gear before he had got right down to a slow walking speed. The bus then moved off again, much earlier than James expected (perhaps he could have looked to see how many passengers (if any) were waiting to board the bus). So James brought the clutch back up, when he was still going too fast for first gear. As a result, the car suddenly slowed down (with no brake lights, of course, to warn the vehicle behind). The examiner explained that the following vehicle was far enough behind to easily react, but, with no brake lights, would have anticipated that James would accelerate when the bus moved off, not slow down.
Unfortunately (as far as his driving is concerned), James is spending the next fortnight with friends in Nottingham, before moving to Switzerland in a couple of weeks time. We have both been checking for test cancellations in Elgin, to try and get him passed before he goes, but have now run out of time, so this was to be our last lesson. He has managed to get a test booked in Nottingham, a couple of days before he flies to Switzerland, so I thought we would try to cover every aspect of driving and aim for perfection. He achieved that aim. I gave him really awkward manoeuvres in busy areas, took him to areas he had never been before, yet he took it all in his stride.
Later that day, when Matthew and I were discussing what we had covered, he said "I liked James. I learned a lot from him. He seemed to give himself lots of time at roundabouts and was always looking all around the car." I wish James all the best in Switzerland and Nottingham. Keep driving like that and show those Nottingham drivers how it's done James.

" Is it raining? I hadn't noticed" (I'm too busy cursing my stupidity)

Thursday afternoon Matthew spent sitting in on more lessons. My diary was unusually well planned today (or so I thought). Each lesson led on to the next, instead of the usual jumping backwards and forwards.
My 2.30 - 4.00pm pupil (another Matthew) was starting in Auldearn and taking his first drive into Inverness, where I would meet a brand new pupil at the point that I would drop Matthew off. Inverness seemed unusually busy. It wasn't the best weather we have enjoyed recently, so I assumed that a lot of the traffic was tourists coming into the city, rather than enjoying the mountains and beaches. It was only later that I remembered that The Black Isle agricultural show and Belladrum music festival would also be bringing thousands of people into the area. I don't think I have ever seen Inverness so busy with traffic. Later on that afternoon, it would take me nearly twenty minutes to merge onto the A9 dual-carriageway from the slip road.
As we neared the end of Matthew's lesson, I asked him to head towards the train station, where I would drop him off and pick up Elizabeth for her first lesson. The trouble was, traffic was at a complete standstill and the lane that we needed for the station was completely backed up. I decided that the best option was to drive to a nearby area, then I would walk to the station to meet Elizabeth. A few problems with this idea: it was now raining quite heavily (and I was dressed for a summer's day); without my car Elizabeth would have no way of recognizing me (maybe I should get a Farle driving school top hat);  we had only previously communicated by email, so I didn't have her mobile number; and, finally, I had no idea what she looked like - all I knew that she was the girlfriend of someone who passed with me two years ago, so I guessed I was looking for a girl aged somewhere between 17 - 30, but, you never know, she might be older.
So I ran to Inverness train station, in the rain. By the time I got there I was drenched. Then, of course, there were many girls standing, waiting at the station. Which one was Elizabeth? Unless she was wearing a T-shirt printed with "I'm Elizabeth" (or even "I'm with Thomas"), I had no possible way of identifying her. I tried to inconspicuously look at each girl, quickly attempting to decide if they were Elizabeth, purely by 'gut feeling'. Several of the girls were using their mobile phones - I was now a couple of minutes late..... Were they trying to call/text me? Even more stupidly, I had left my phone back in the car. There was no option, I was going to have to approach each girl and ask if they were Elizabeth. Who should I approach first? I then saw two teenage girls with (presumably) their mum, looking towards the road. I felt very uncomfortable walking up to them. I looked at the two girls, one of them looked at me, so I asked "Elizabeth?" To my huge relief she said "Yes."
After scampering through the rain back to my car we had an enjoyable lesson, then I made damn sure I had her mobile number.

Perfection in parts

A real mixed bag of test results recently. Over the course of their lessons I get to know my pupils' driving their strengths and weaknesses. Then, when I think we have eliminated their weaknesses, they pass their test. At least, that is the plan. The trouble is, I have no control over what they do in those forty minutes of the test. I have had a few people recently who I was absolutely convinced would breeze through the driving test, but something silly happened and they failed.
Nerves are the usual problem. A couple of weeks ago Sarah had her first attempt. Being quite heavily pregnant, she had to choose between taking her test before or after the baby. In the weeks before her test she began to doubt her choice. But what reassured me was that, although she asked me all sorts of questions, many were about complex hypothetical scenarios, not simply 'how do I do this?' On the day of her test the glorious weather had brought even more tourists into Ullapool (although not as many as had been in the village the previous week for the World Skiff Rowing Championships). It obviously didn't matter. At the end of her test she stepped out of my car, proudly brandishing her pass certificate. "I passed!"
I looked at her test sheet. "You didn't just pass," I informed her, "you were perfect. Literally." Sarah had just become only my second pupil to pass with 0 driver errors. Absolutely fantastic.

Last Christmas my brother, Chris, his wife, Sondra, and son, Matthew, came to stay with us for a few days. Being 16 years old, the subject of Matthew learning to drive came up.
"Come up and stay with us for a while when you turn 17 and I'll be happy to teach you. " I suggested.
So, tomorrow morning, Matthew is flying up and spending a couple of weeks with us. And, as I have been so neglectful of this blog recently, I thought I would document his progress.
Stay tuned

Overcoming all obstacles

Are you sitting comfortably? I'm not. I'm sat, cross-legged, in a car park, in Harbour Road industrial estate in Inverness (it's a long story. One that I'm about to tell). Actually, it's not that uncomfortable, so I shall begin my epic tale of lust and one man's fight to overcome all obstacles.

My Fiesta is starting to get on a bit now. It's not much over a year old, but I have been racking up the miles. I have been leasing my last two cars and, perhaps understandably, the lease company aren't too happy with my mileage. So, it was beginning to look like the sensible thing was to buy a tuition car.
What car to get? I like my Fiesta. I liked my Clio. I liked my wee Fiat 500. I would be happy to get any of those. Maybe it's a defect in my personality, but, somehow, I knew they wouldn't quite suffice. Just as, no matter how much I love most of the music I have collected over the years, I always want something new.

There are some cars which are just achingly beautiful: The 1950s Mercedes Gullwing

, the Jaguar E-type

, the Alfa Romeo 8C

, AC Cobra (see below) and Ferrari Dino

immediately spring to mind. Alfa Romeo are also bringing out the 4C, which is possibly even more beautiful than its big brother

. All of these are more than slightly out of my league. And not really cars that I would be happy to let a learner driver loose in.

The world's your oyster, as Frankie (goes to Hollywood) once said (although I'm pretty sure they didn't coin the phrase). If I was to buy my own car I could choose anything I liked (although DSA regulations rule out a convertible and various other vehicles). My wife just traded her monster Navara pick-up for a wee Fiat Panda, which I think is fantastic - so easy to drive and park. It really would make a very good tuition car. And I also hear really good things about the VW Up and the similar Seat and Skoda versions. But.... I don't know. I guess I want something slightly bigger because, effectively, my car is my office. I want something I will be very comfortable in for ten hours or more. This still left me with a lot of choice, so I started looking.

Jordan admiring an AC Cobra

A couple of weeks ago I took my grandson, Jordan, to a classic car show in Forres. It was a beautiful morning and we had a great time looking at some amazing cars.

A beautiful Bugatti

What really struck me was how much character these older cars had. Some of the interiors looked really uncomfortable, some looked really naff, but some just oozed class and individuality - I particularly liked one Lotus which had a button labelled "cigar"..... Not a common cigarette lighter, a cigar lighter. Perhaps it was not a good idea to look at such cars when I was looking for a tuition car - it's a bit like the theory that it's not a good idea to go shopping in a supermarket when you're hungry - because it made me yearn for something different (no, I didn't decide I wanted a Lotus with a cigar lighter).
After quite a bit of research and searching I found a car advertised which seemed perfect. Just one problem.... It was in a garage in a village near Dunfermline -  Over 150 miles away. There was nothing else locally that compared, so I drove down to the garage for a test drive. Luckily, the car was everything I was looking for and more. They accepted my offer and the car was mine..... I just had to try and work out a way of getting it home.
So last Friday I had it all planned. Train ticket from Forres to Dunfermline (changing at Inverness) was bought, then I would have to get a bus or taxi to the garage. Simple. Or, at least, it should have been.
With hindsight I obviously should not have agreed to a lesson that would leave me just enough time to catch the train. A chatty pupil meant that I missed the train. No problem; I could drive to Inverness and make the connection there. I had fifty minutes to make a journey that should take forty. A tractor was holding up the traffic. Don't panic. The tractor finally pulled over. With Inverness in sight I could see the traffic ahead slowing to a halt. Roadworks. No, no, no! If I didn't catch the train there wasn't another one that would get me to the garage before they closed. After what seemed an age, the lights changed to green. I got to the car park with five minutes to go. I just had a couple of minutes walk, through the shopping centre, to the station. As I approached the shopping centre exit a smiling lady stood in my way. "Hello! How are you?", she asked. It was a former pupil, who passed her test last year. I hurried my reply, asked how she was getting on and hastily condensed a conversation I would have loved to have had into 30 seconds. Then I ran to the station and just made the train.
Well, it is disappointing to tell you, at least as far as the theme of the day is concerned, that the train journey went without a hitch. Not even the smallest delay. I just had to either get a taxi, or make the ten minute walk to the bus station and catch a bus. I made the wrong choice.
Catching a bus. That's a fairly simple thing to do, right? The garage closed at 6.00pm. According to the timetable, the bus would get me to the garage at about 5.20pm. I could relax. I didn't know this part of Fife, so I kept an eye out for my stop, having made a mental note of the villages that preceded it. Just as I could see the garage a couple of hundred metres ahead, the bus turned right. I assumed that the bus would do a loop and come back this way. Ten minutes later, we seemed to be heading further and further away, and the last remaining passenger was getting off the bus. I was beginning to feel that something was not quite right. I asked the bus driver if I had missed my stop. "Yes, it was about ten minutes ago." No need to panic, I thought. My best option would be to get off the bus, call the garage and ask if they could collect me. Luckily, I got my phone out before I got off the bus.... The battery had run out!
All I could do now would be to get off the bus then hope that there would be another bus in the next five minutes that was going back the other way. My final salvation came when the bus driver said that this bus would be going back nearby, then I would have a ten minute walk to the garage.
Finally, after over six hours, a stressful car drive, a walk, two trains, another walk, a stressful bus ride, then a final walk, I arrived at the garage about ten minutes before they closed. They could have given me any old car at that point, I was just relieved to be back in a car and in control.
So, I had my car. I also had dual-controls, but not in the car. So the latter part of today was set aside to get the controls fitted, and also to have my logo put on the car. I dropped the car off at the garage and wondered how I was going to kill three hours in Inverness. After nearly two hours the garage called...
"We seem to have a bit of a problem......"
Don't you just hate it when someone starts a conversation like that.
"...... The dual-controls don't seem to fit."
My heart sank. "But I ordered the controls specifically for that very model." I now had visions of having to send the dual-controls back to He-Man (the manufacturer), then having to wait maybe a week before I could finally start instructing in my car.
"We have been in touch with He-Man and they don't understand it. We at waiting for them to get back to us, but it may be that it is not possible."
This was serious. I couldn't contemplate using the car for instruction without dual-controls. I even began considering the awful prospect of having to sell the car, after just four days, and going through the whole process of finding another tuition car. So I walked back through Inverness to the garage, probably looking like the most miserable man that ever lived.
It was, therefore, a very slight glimmer of hope when I got back to the garage to see two men with their heads buried deep within my car.
"Any news?" I asked, hopefully, but fearing the worst.
"Yes. We think we've cracked it," was the beautiful reply.
It turned out the previous owner had a Bose sound system installed, and the rather substantial amplifier had been fixed exactly where the dual-controls were supposed to go.
Would I have to make the ultimate decision? Sound system or dual-controls? I bit my lip and hesitantly said "If it's a choice, the amplifier will have to come out."
And so I sat, cross-legged in the garage car park, like an anxious father waiting outside an operating theatre at an hospital.
The surgeon, I mean mechanic, finally came out. I tried to read his expression.....
"It's good news.... You now have dual-controls."
Ah, the relief! I couldn't contemplate what chaos it would have caused if fitting them had not been possible. It got better though...
"And we have managed to relocate the amplifier too."
Music to my ears. Literally.

All that remained was to get my logo on the car, and Macsigns, in Harbour Road, Inverness, made a wonderful job with that. So, finally, I could now begin lessons in my new dual-control, liveried and wired for sound Alfa Romeo Mito Multiair.

It was a long, and very arduous journey, but, boy, it was worth it in the end.

Who Hefner

Apologies again for the paucity of posts recently. Last week I had written perhaps the finest post yet. It had more mystery than Broadchurch (and was just as long). It had more wit than an entire series of Frasier (even the early ones) and had more twists than a very twisty thing. Then, zut alors! I switched my tablet thingy on, to finish my epic post, only to find the whole thing lost, evaporated, gone, vanished. Bugger. I was a little irritated, I have to say.
I've been trying hard not to let certain other things irritate me of late: I was listening to Radio 5 and a 23 year-old girl was saying how wrong people are to despise Margaret Thatcher, especially after all that she had done for her country. Everyone is entitled to their own views but I just sat there thinking "What do you know? You were barely more than a primitive pairing of sperm and ovum when she left office, so how can you possibly argue her legacy against people who lived (and suffered) through it?"
Don't worry, I'm not going to get all political. Which is hypocritical, because I think people should be more passionate about politics. At the time, as far as I was concerned, Thatcherism was a bad thing. But the thing that puzzles me is that, surely, the time for celebration and parties was when she was ousted from No.10? Twenty-three years later I don't understand celebrating the death of a frail old woman, whose only current relevance was to her family and friends.  But the most irritating thing was all the effort to get Ding dong, the witch is dead to No.1, and all the subsequent fuss. I've nothing against that particular song, it's just that we, as a nation, missed out on a great opportunity to have a classic song on top of the charts. Instead of paying 89p to download 51 seconds of Ding dong... You could have spent your money far more wisely on 'The day that Thatcher dies', by Hefner. A genuine sing-a-long classic and it finishes with more than 51 seconds of Ding dong.... What do you mean, you've never heard of it?! If that is the case, trust me, go and find it on the MP3 provider of your choice. I can almost guarantee that, having heard it once, you will want to hear it again. Then you will wake up the next morning singing to yourself 
"We will laugh
The day that Thatcher dies
Even though we know it's not right
We will dance and sing all night.....'
Ding dong indeed.

Luis Suarez..... Ah, Luis Luis. What on earth possessed you? There can be few footballers more feared by opponents for their attacking threat than Luis Suarez. So why play into your opponents hands by fouling, diving, handballing, and biting!? Does he have children? What will his children think when they see his actions? 
Liverpool are my team. I have supported them for forty years. And, although there are few more thrilling sights in football than Luis Suarez, ball glued to his feet, treating defences apart, I am almost glad to hear of his ten match ban. Selfishly, I fear the prospect of him moving to another club. But I genuinely would rather see Liverpool lose their next ten games if it meant that Luis returned as a more honourable and honest footballer..... Just like Branislav Ivanovic, whose commendable conduct has gone largely unnoticed.

The one that got away

Ultimately, it is the ability to be able to drive where you want, when you want, that starts people out on the journey of driving lessons/theory tests/driving tests. So I always take pleasure from seeing ex-pupils driving around. I still remember the real sense of satisfaction when Hannah passed: She was my very first pupil, back in my BSM days, to pass without having done any other driving with anyone else. I had others pass before her, but they had had previous lessons, or practice with friends or family. When Hannah passed I could legitimately think 'I did that'.
I even get satisfaction from the handful of pupils who have had lessons with me, but then move away before they pass. It is always nice when, unexpectedly, I get a text, call or email from a former pupil, letting me know that they have finally passed their test in Norfolk, Edinburgh, the USA, or wherever.

The other side of the coin are the pupils that start lessons but, for various reasons, have not yet passed, or even sat, their driving test. For me there is a sense of a job not done. A loose end.
Usually it is because they start their lessons, but move away to university before taking their test. Perfectly understandable, and many continue their lessons during the holidays. But there was one pupil this week, who had probably his last ever lesson with me, leaving me feeling particularly........ Not 'disappointed', that is not the right word. Just a slightly sad sense that I will probably not be there when he passes his test.
He was not my most 'natural' driver. And, although not the oldest pupil I have taught, he was at that end of the age scale. Add to that a less than perfect grasp of English, and, well..... it has been a struggle.
He actually took his first test before I met him, though heaven knows why his previous instructor thought he was ready. Although, to be fair, I'm not even sure he had a previous instructor, such was the difficulty in understanding each other. So most instruction was done by me drawing diagrams or, occasionally, by demonstration. I'm not going to beat about the bush, it was hard work. Because of the language problem I was often unconvinced that he fully understood what I was trying to teach. Other times, I knew he understood, but he just seemed unable to carry it out. Then, just when I thought we had finally cracked it, older faults would sneak back into his driving.
He took other tests. I sat in on one. Despite his assurances that he understood what the examiner was saying, I am pretty sure that he didn't. His first test (with me) was postponed due to snow; one of the very few of my tests cancelled last winter due to snow. He then spent time away, setting up a new business, before returning last Autumn. He resumed lessons and we booked a test for Wednesday 5th December. He bought several blocks of lessons and, the week of his test, he was driving without fault. I was convinced that he was finally going to be rewarded for his time, effort and money. A good thing too, because his theory test was only valid until 8th December, so this would be his only chance before having to re-sit his theory.
Late on Tuesday 4th December it snowed. I had five pupils with tests booked the next day; the pupil I have been talking about had the penultimate test of the day, at 1.33pm. On the Wednesday morning I looked out of the window and could immediately see that the first test or two would have to be postponed.
We turned up for the 8.40am test and the examiner confirmed that the first two tests would have to be postponed. But, to his credit, he said that he would have a drive around at 10.15am before making a decision about the 10.44 and 11.41am tests. The weak December morning sun did little to melt the snow, so it was no surprise when he postponed those two tests too. He again decided to delay his decision on the last two tests until 1.00pm. By 1.00pm the sun had actually melted most of the snow. Unfortunately, there were a couple of junctions which, I had to agree, were just a bit too slippy for a test to be conducted fairly.
It was horrible driving to pick up my pupil, who was waiting, very smartly dressed, and with all his documents neatly presented in a folder, only for me to tell him that his test would not be going ahead and that he would have to sit his theory test again.
The other four pupils, Alison, Beccy, Darren and Euan, all passed their tests, all at the first attempt, when they were re-scheduled for February. Unfortunately, my other pupil did not get a re-scheduled date because his theory test certificate was no longer valid. He re-sat and passed his theory test but, when he went to re-book his driving test, he found that the earliest available tests were not until May.
"It's only a couple of months." I tried to reassure him. But the trouble now, was that his new business, on Skye, was almost ready and he would be leaving Ullapool in early April. I considered all options, but there were no tests available within a reasonable distance before he would be leaving Ullapool.
He still bought another block of five lessons, even though I suggested that he didn't really need them, and that he would be better off taking a few lessons in Skye, before his test (which would have to be booked there). Then, last Saturday, at the end of his 4th lesson from the block of the five he had bought, I asked him when he would like his next lesson.
"No lesson." He replied. "This, my last lesson." I thought, perhaps, that he did not realise that he still had one lesson in credit. But it was simply that he did not need another lesson. He was right; he could drive around Ullapool, the surrounding area, and carry out all the reversing manoeuvres without any help from me. I would  look out for difficult situations and try to get him into them, but he was capable of dealing with whatever I threw at him.
He refused my offer of refunding the unused hour, saying that it was for me because 'I had been a good teacher and a gentleman'. I valued his comments more than the money (which I will spend in his restaurant the next time I am in Skye), but, as I drove away, I felt quite deflated that we had both worked so hard to get him to this standard, yet I will not be there to shake his hand when the examiner presents him with his pass certificate.

It's far from grim up North

I almost daren't say it, but we have been very lucky with the weather (so far) this winter. Whilst seemingly everywhere else in the UK has had some snow, we have had virtually none. Only the hills have seen any real  snow, unfortunately, this had led to several deaths and injuries due to avalanches, particularly in the Cairngorms.
Meanwhile, we get to enjoy the tremendous views, enhanced by the snow-capped peaks, whilst not being troubled by any white stuff on the roads. In fact, the last couple of days, the weather has been so perfect, so clear, that is almost like looking through a magnifying glass. Overlooking the Moray Firth, we can clearly see hills and mountains way up towards the farthest north, almost as far as John O'Groats.

Yesterday afternoon, I had a long drive home.... a very long drive home. My last lesson was 116 miles from home (although I took a more scenic route, which added 10 miles) and, although it took me nearly two and a half hours, I could see the coast near my house before I had even reached halfway. Nearly the whole drive was breathtaking, especially in the late afternoon sun, and I was torn between wanting to get home at the end of a long weekend, or taking more time to enjoy the journey (especially along the mirror-like Loch Shin).
126 miles is a long commute for a driving instructor. Too long. But it was worth it.

A couple of weeks ago I received a call from a young lad asking if I covered Kinlochbervie. I have taught several people from Kinlochbervie (or Klb as they say), but they have always travelled the 60 miles south to Ullapool for their lessons. So I explained that, seeing as I have to travel some way just to get to Ullapool, Klb was just a wee bit too far - For those of you not familiar with Scottish geography, I have added a map. Kinlochbervie is about 335 miles, nearly 7 hours, north of the England/Scotland border. Glasgow and Edinburgh are way down south.
A short while later, he called back to say that he had 6 - 8 friends who would be interested in starting driving lessons in Klb. 'Ok', I replied, 'if everone is happy to have lessons on the same day, I could come up.'

Picture courtesy of www.come2klb.com

And so it was that this weekend, after a day of lessons in Ullapool, I travelled up to Kinlochbervie yesterday morning, and spent a very enjoyable day meeting lots of new pupils and exploring an area I have only briefly passed through before.
Admittedly, it is only a wee village, with maybe six junctions (and certainly no pedestrian crossings, traffic lights, or roundabouts), and there will only be so much I can teach them there. They all understand the limitations and all agree that, before too long, they will have to make their own way into the comparative metropolis that is Ullapool to further their driving. But, for now, we will crack on with as much as we can in Klb...... I am already looking forward to next weekend.

An ill wind

I really didn't like that..... That was a morning I don't want to repeat.
Last night, I was aware that I was getting low on fuel, but it had been a long day and, after my last lesson, I just wanted to get home. With hindsight, I should have taken ten minutes to go to my usual petrol station.
This morning, I had to set of just before 6.45am. The trip computer told me I had 24 miles worth of fuel left in the tank. I know it's not 100% accurate, but I was confident that I had plenty of fuel to get to the only petrol station in Nairn, 8 miles away, that is open at such a time. I pulled into the forecourt, only to find..... No diesel! Mon dieu! Cripes! and various other expletives. My options were: a) to wait in Nairn for half an hour until the two other petrol stations opened; or, b) press on to the next petrol station in Inverness, 16 miles away.
If I waited in Nairn I would have to cancel my first lesson. If I drive on to Inverness I risked running out of fuel (and then having to cancel maybe two lessons).
Not wanting to cancel a lesson, and being confident of my ability to drive in a fuel-efficient manner, I decided to drive on. I turned off the heater and the music system, then waited until a big lorry passed by, so that I could follow in their slipstream. As I pulled out behind the lorry, my trip computer said that I had 15 miles worth of fuel left.... And 16 miles to the next petrol station. Unfortunately, it just had to be the morning that a fierce gale was blowing straight towards me.... Why couldn't it have been blowing the other way?! So, despite the lorry ahead, I could still feel my car battling hard against the wind. And the miles left in my fuel tank were counting down fast.
12 miles left, 11, 10.... The wind was, if anything getting even stronger and I was having to press quite firmly on the accelerator to stay behind the lorry and not lose momentum. 9, 8, 7 miles and I still had more than ten miles to go. Not only that, but, on that stretch of the A96, there are not many places I could pull over and feel comfortable leaving my car if (when?) I did run out of fuel. By the time I reached Tornagrain roundabout I apparently had 3 miles of fuel left. Thirty seconds later the trip computer said 'Time up..... You are about to grind to an embarrassing halt.' (it didn't really say that, it just said '0 miles', but it might have well had said that). And I still had over five miles to go. I didn't even have a downhill stretch to help me (and even if there was, I'm convinced the wind was strong enough to try and push me uphill). The lights of Inverness and the Kessock bridge were getting closer.... At least now I wouldn't have to walk too far to get a can of diesel. Half a mile to go and I could see the lights of the petrol station teasing me. 200m and just two more roundabouts to go. Please don't run out of fuel on a roundabout. Phew! I got through the roundabouts and, to my immense incredulity and utter amazement, I made it into the petrol station and, thankfully, up to the pump. Never, never, never again do I want to put myself through that.
And I was going to end this post there, but the evening was equally tense.....
The wind didn't let up all day; if at all, it got stronger. So it was an unusual challenge on some lessons when some pupils were quite alarmed to feel how much the wind (especially a crosswind or headwind) could affect their steering. And home was an especially welcome sight for me at the end of the day.
Jane and I were sat, just finished dinner, enjoying some wine and listening to the wind howling around the house. Suddenly, there was a bang, a flash of light and the power went. We half expect a power cut when it's this wild but, looking out the window, I could see that some nearby houses still had power. Then we saw that one of the overhead electrical cables had been blown off the telegraph pole. It had crashed down onto the road, twisting in an arc over my neighbour's car and partly blocking the road. After calling the electricity company and the police I went out to see if there is anything I could do. It had only just missed our cars, so I moved them round the corner to try and create more room in the road. I've seen films and television where a live electrical cable snakes around, sending showers of sparks flying. Would this really happen? I usually have a scientific curiosity, but I certainly wasn't going to be experimenting with what was, as far as I was concerned, a live electrical cable. So, having moved the cars, I retreated to the safety (but darkness) of our front room to wait for the police and electricity company to spring into action.
A couple of minutes later, I watched in horror as the lady in the house opposite stepped outside her gate and, without a second's hesitation, grabbed the cable to try (unsuccessfully) to move the cable!!! She didn't die. Her hair didn't even stand up on end.
Why is it that, when you get a power cut, you get a strong desire for a cup of tea? Luckily, our neighbour, Irene, is a gem, and came round with a Thermos of boiling water (a bit disappointed that she didn't bring any cake though). She was far more proactive than the services - the electrical engineers took 2½ hours to turn up, and the police didn't bother at all! When my neighbour had grabbed the cable earlier I had wondered if I had been a bit silly not wanting to touch the cable. But when I saw the engineers handling the cable with 2m wooden poles I was relieved that I hadn't.

Lighten up

Some of the hardest stuff with learning to drive involves getting used to exactly how firm to press a pedal, or exactly how much to guide the steering wheel. You take all this for granted when you have been driving for a while, but can be quite difficult when you first start learning. Some controls, however, are much more straightforward..... Or so you would think.....
Lights. They are either on, or off. That's it. You don't have to get just the correct amount of brightness. You just have to decide when to use them. It shouldn't be difficult. I have had mini-rants previously, concerning indicators, but the correct use of lights has been my bugbear of late.
Firstly, lights on your car are not just there to help you see, but also to help you be seen. The choice then, is to select the light that gives you the best visibility, makes you visible to others, but doesn't blind others.
Side-lights: In the US they refer to these as parking lights, which gives you a good idea of when you should use them - when parked at night in a speed limit over 30mph (and when you want to make your car more visible when parked). Of course, they can be used whilst driving, but it should only be when the speed limit is 30mph or less. A lot of people seem to think, at dusk and dawn, 'it's only a bit dark.... I'll only put on a bit of light' and put sidelights on. Wrong. At faster speeds sidelights will have little effect on making you more visible, especially if there is a vehicle behind you with headlights on. Admittedly, some sidelights are brighter than others, but if you decide that it is dark/gloomy/wet enough to reach for your light switch, why not just turn it that extra little click and put your dipped headlights on?
Headlights: If you think it is getting fractionally harder to see ahead, then others are finding it harder to see you. So put your dipped headlights on. You don't have to wait until everyone else has done so.
Full-beam: Firstly, you don't need them when there are streetlights. You need them when there are no streetlights and you can't clearly see what is happening ahead (or where the road is going). So, in my opinion, you don't need them at dusk. The other day, after sunset, it was dark enough to require dipped headlights, but I could clearly see what was happening ahead without needing full-beam. Despite this, I lost count of the number of oncoming cars heading towards me with full-beam. And that brings me on to the next thing.... If you can see the arc of headlights swinging round a corner ahead, don't wait until the car is in front of you before dipping your lights. And THEN.... have the courtesy to wait until the oncoming car has completely passed before whacking the full-beam back on.
Fog lights: This crops up as one of the 'show me/tell me' questions, and the answer required is 'when visibility is less than 100m' (or words to that effect). Usually this means fog, but snowfall can reduce visibility to this distance. Rain can reduce vision below this distance, but it would have to be very heavy rain. Putting your rear foglights on during normal rain is unnecessary and can be irritating to following vehicles. Front foglights I don't really have a problem with (unless they are incorrectly aligned). I sometimes hear people moaning about people using front foglights unnecessarily, but I don't see that it causes a problem. Sometimes I am bemused when drivers have front foglights and sidelights on, or, even more bizarrely, front foglights and no other lights - I struggle to understand their thought process - but it is rarely a problem. I read a post from someone claiming that, in very thick fog, front foglights are obviously helpful (not all cars have them), but he claimed that dipped headlights can cause too much of a glare, making sidelights preferable. Maybe, but I would still use dipped headlights - mainly to make me more visible to others - and drive at a reduced speed if the glare was making vision that bad.
Roll on midsummer, when this becomes far less of an issue. I can already feel my next mini-rant brewing - roundabouts (especially lane discipline)... You have been warned!

Sneaking in at the back

I feel a little bit like arriving late to school, or work; trying to sneak in unnoticed without the teacher/boss spotting me. Over eleven weeks since I last set finger on these pages. I used to to think I was slacking if I went eleven days without a post. Shockingly poor form on my part.

"Well? BOY?!?! What is your excuse this time?!"

"Um...."  I can't think of a good reason. I have just been neglectful. There have been many times, these last few months, when I have thought of something I wanted to write about, but then changed my mind; or become so busy with other things that the moment passes and I have lost the urge to write. And sometimes, when I have thought 'I must write something in my blog', I have had a severe case of writer's block and not been able to think of anything worthwhile to say. But so much has happened: We have had new additions to our family ('Hello to Frankie and Dolly') - and one subtraction ('Goodbye Jilly'). I have had a healthy run of pupils passing their tests and being replaced by new pupils. We have witnessed all manner of bizarre behaviour from pupils, other road users, and even examiners. In fact, in such a time of change and surprise, the only thing that seems consistent is Liverpool FC's inconsistency.

So.... Happy New Year. Let's get the niceties and formalities out of the way. I hope 2013 will be the happiest and healthiest year yet. From a business point of view, I will be happy if 2013 is even 75% as good as 2012. Perhaps I should be more positive.... more..... thrusting. But, in truth, I was too busy in 2012. Where I used to claim that I was flexible, as far as fitting in with my pupils' needs, I just haven't been able to always give everyone the time that they wanted in recent months. I have spent ages trying to jiggle my diary around, constantly trying to create space to fit extra lessons in. And I have been lucky in that there has been a much smaller proportion of lesson cancellations, compared to some previous years. But, sometimes, I have actually been relieved when someone has cancelled. I shouldn't say that, I know. But it's true.

I have previously talked about pupils who have wished to remain anonymous, and I will always respect those wishes. And I have sometimes even had pupils ask if I would mention them in this blog - I can't imagine why, but I have done so on occasion. But, usually, I only mention pupils when they have passed their test, or done something else equally praiseworthy. Of course, being so lapse of late, I have not congratulated anyone for months. So.....

Congratulations to Rachel and Jamie on the birth of their baby girl, Frankie. I'm far too young to become a grandfather for the FIFTH time! (But, I'll make an exception in this case). 

Congratulations to Aaron, Alasdair, Alexander, Alison, Alistair, Andrew, Andy, Ashleigh, Ashton, Beth, Bethany, Brianna, Caitlin, Catherine, Catriona, Christopher, Conner, Daniel, Emma, Emma, Erin, Fergus, Gigha, Gracie, Hannah, Hayley, Hollie, James, James, Jasmine, Jean, Jemma, Jennifer, Jennifer, Jim, Joanne, Jodie, Josh, Julie, Kelly, Kerry, Kim, Lauren, Lawrence, Lean, Leanne, Lewis, Liam, Louise, Marcus, Mark, Matt, Melanie, Mhairi, Michelle, Nicola, Nigel, Olivia, Oonagh, Paul, Pauline, Piotr, Rehan, Robbie, Rory, Ross, Ruairidh, Sandy, Sarah, Seoras, Sophie, Struan, Tanja, Thomas and two others, who prefer not to be mentioned, on passing your driving tests in 2012. I wish you all safe driving. (and apologies if I missed anyone.)

Congratulations to Joanne on conquering Kilimanjaro. Various other pupils have done extraordinary things in 2012, but I think Joanne's was the one I was most in awe (and most jealous) of. 

New Year's resolutions? Hmmm....well......ummm......let me see....... I guess I should try to be a bit more organised. Maybe 'organised' isn't the exact word.... Perhaps 'structured' is better. I have done enough 'New pupil dances' (Apologies, Lochrie, for pinching your phrase) in 2012 to wear out several pairs of shoes. The trouble is, I don't like turning work down. There was a few weeks towards the end of the Summer when I seemed to be taking on another new pupil almost daily, but then I would worry about how I could possibly fit everyone in. In fact, I did turn down four new pupil enquiries over the Summer, but perhaps I should have turned down more. So, New Year resolution is to try and make my diary more structured and only take on new pupils when they can fit it around existing pupils. 

Ok.... I don't want to overdo it. I'm out of shape, blogging-wise, so I think that will do for now. 

Wishing you all the best for the New Year and I will try not to leave it so long next time.