Metamorphosis

I need a little time To think it over
I need a little space Just on my own
I need a little time To find my freedom
I need a little...
Ok, stop. Where do you think our relationship is going? What do you want from our relationship?
Yesterday I blethered on about my ‘favourites’; the pupils who have made a commitment to learn to drive, and to be good drivers. I am in a relationship, an interdependency, a symbiosis with them. They have thought about what they want to get out of the relationship and are happy to pay me a significant amount of money. In return, they expect me to transform them from an ugly duckling, who staggers all over the road and has little control over their feet, to a graceful swan, who glides effortlessly along the roads and highways. They don’t think that it is ok to pay me less money just to get them to the stage of a clumsy, adolescent swan.
If you are learning to drive, are thinking of learning to drive, or are parents of potential learners, then we need to get one thing straight. This will cost money. Most instructors will offer a discount if you book, and pre-pay, a block of lessons (usually ten or more). Therefore, if you can afford it, this is the most cost-effective way to learn. The Government’s website (http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Motoring/LearnerAndNewDrivers/PracticalTest/DG_4022483) says “Those who pass their driving test have had, on average, about 45 hours of professional training combined with 22 hours of private practice. Learners who prepare this way, with a combination of plenty of professional training and plenty of practice, do better in the test.” This is quite a shock to some parents. Many say “But, it only took me ten hours of lessons for me to pass my test!” Great. Bully for you. You were lucky to take your test when it was so much easier (as I did). So… 45 hours. If you get a good block discount, that will still cost you over £1,000 (£1,012 in my case). That, as I said earlier, is a significant amount of money. Then again, you could spend that much on 10 cigarettes a day for a year, a nice holiday or a decent telly, but you would spend the rest of your life relying on friends, taxis and public transport.
I have had to spend thousands of pounds learning how to teach people how to drive, so you are getting a bargain, even if it takes you more than 45 hours to learn to drive.
I have already moaned about a couple of pupils who want to take a chance on the test, despite me telling them that they are not ready. A couple of months back, I gave a pupil 12 hours of lessons. When I talked to her about booking the following week’s lessons, she said that she could not really afford it, and could she wait until she had passed her theory? Fine. I would rather she was honest than make excuses on the day of the lesson. Last night I had a call from her husband saying that she had passed her theory test, so should he book her driving test. I was straight with him, “No, not yet. She is not ready. She needs more lessons.” “But we can’t really afford more lessons and she wants to pass her test.”
The key word here is pass. I can’t stop her taking her test (in her own car). Go ahead, make the instructor’s day (it won’t). But it is a false economy. The test costs over £60 now. A few fails will be more expensive than a block of lessons.
I really wanted to say “Ok, book the test, but you’re on your own, I don’t want to know”, but I’m not like that. I suggested that he should try and teach her as much as possible in his car, but try to book as many lessons with me as they can afford. He will ‘get back to me’. That’s fine with me, I can spend my time concentrating on pupils who are intelligent enough to accept that this is an important, life-changing (life-saving) skill, which is more important than most other things they could spend their spare money on.
Times are tough for many people. Some of my pupils have to work over four hours just to pay for one hour’s driving lesson. So, if you are not a Premiership footballer, or a politician with an unlimited expense account, then just accept the fact that it may take a while to be good enough to pass your test. Can you afford a tenner a week? Then book one hour’s lesson a fortnight. What do you think? Or you could ignore me - what do I know - and book your test, fail it a few times, give up, spend more money on public transport and, a few years later go through the whole process again. Far-fetched? Unfortunately not. There are far too many ugly ducklings out there who could easily be beautiful swans with a bit of commitment on their part.