The first few days

Picking Matthew up from Inverness airport went smoothly. We had 40 minutes to kill, so I did a bit of commentary driving to give him a taste of the city and what things he should be considering whilst driving. I then had a lesson with Jade. I had already asked most of my pupils if they would mind Matthew sitting in on the lesson, and almost all of them were quite relaxed about it.
I had already planned to base Jade's lesson on anticipation, use of mirrors and emergency stops. No reason to alter that plan. Besides, it would liven Matthew up after his flight. The first two emergency stops were slightly cautious, but the third was excellent - it certainly did the job of waking Matthew up.
Matthew had already done a bit of driving with his dad, and felt confident(ish) about driving from Jade's house to the petrol station. Unfortunately, it seemed that someone had kindly abandoned their car at the pump while they did their weekly shop in the petrol station, and, as a consequence, vehicles were having to queue back out onto the dual-carriageway. I talked him carefully through it, but, later, when Jane asked him about his day, he described that bit as 'carnage'.
After that, we took turns to drive to Ullapool, then he sat patiently in the back of the car, watching lessons with Peter, Isobel, Chanel and Katie. The last pupil was a brand new pupil, so I suggested he wait in The Ceilidh Place, as I didn't think it would be fair on the pupil.
Day two was similar. Not too much driving for Matthew, but sitting in on lessons with Caitlin, Brian and Jade in Inverness, then lessons with Becky, Ben and Niall in Ullapool. However, I suggested that he drove the eighty mile journey home. Not too technical, but a good opportunity to get him reading the road well ahead at 60mph and adjusting his speed in plenty of time. It was a very promising drive until the very end when he stalled just outside our house, much to his frustration.
Day three: A one hour lesson with Sophie in Auldearn, then a two hour lesson with Jack in Forres/Elgin. So still not too much driving for Matthew (apart from sometimes driving between lessons), but he said that, sitting in the back, he was leaning a lot.
Next pupil, in Forres, was James. James was close to being the perfect pupil: He is always outside waiting at the start of each lesson; he usually has 2 1/2 hours a week (and has NEVER cancelled). And, he listens to every suggestion I make about how to improve his driving, then tries to work on it. He went for his driving test a few weeks ago (in Elgin) and shocked me by picking up one serious fault: Early on in the test a bus, in front of him, had indicated that it was going to stop. With oncoming traffic there was no immediate chance of overtaking, so James decided to slow right down and select first gear. All very sensible. Unfortunately, he put it into first gear before he had got right down to a slow walking speed. The bus then moved off again, much earlier than James expected (perhaps he could have looked to see how many passengers (if any) were waiting to board the bus). So James brought the clutch back up, when he was still going too fast for first gear. As a result, the car suddenly slowed down (with no brake lights, of course, to warn the vehicle behind). The examiner explained that the following vehicle was far enough behind to easily react, but, with no brake lights, would have anticipated that James would accelerate when the bus moved off, not slow down.
Unfortunately (as far as his driving is concerned), James is spending the next fortnight with friends in Nottingham, before moving to Switzerland in a couple of weeks time. We have both been checking for test cancellations in Elgin, to try and get him passed before he goes, but have now run out of time, so this was to be our last lesson. He has managed to get a test booked in Nottingham, a couple of days before he flies to Switzerland, so I thought we would try to cover every aspect of driving and aim for perfection. He achieved that aim. I gave him really awkward manoeuvres in busy areas, took him to areas he had never been before, yet he took it all in his stride.
Later that day, when Matthew and I were discussing what we had covered, he said "I liked James. I learned a lot from him. He seemed to give himself lots of time at roundabouts and was always looking all around the car." I wish James all the best in Switzerland and Nottingham. Keep driving like that and show those Nottingham drivers how it's done James.

You can dance.

I met Madonna last night, it was for a television show. The last couple of years the BBC have had a show called 'So you think you can dance.' They have scrapped it this year, but are doing something called 'So you think you CAN'T dance' instead. The idea is to take someone who can't dance and train them to be good enough to be one of Madonna's dancers for the UK dates of her world tour.
Now, one of my family or 'friends' put my name forward. I was slightly hurt by this. It's been a few years since I used to throw caution to the wind and let loose on the dancefloor. But I do bust a few moves to James Brown, et al ,when I am cooking, and I did take one of the leading roles during the 'I got a feeling' pod dance for my brother's wedding.... Perhaps that's it... Perhaps someone from the wedding sent a video of that dance into the BBC? Anyway, I was selected to be one of the eight people to make it to the television show. Very nervous, but very exciting.
So last night we went to the studio for the first time and I met the other seven. Most of them seem very easy to get on with, and I'm surprised that not all are younger than me. Then Madonna came in. We weren't expecting that. She was very personable, charming and beguiling. She is also surprisingly informal, yet still very professional.
We were going to take it in turns to dance in front of her - VERY scary. We had to wait in a waiting room with a table overflowing with buffet food - which I thought very odd. Anyway, by the time it was my turn, Madonna had gone home and Louis Spence had taken her place. I immediately walked out. And then I woke up.
Very weird. What was particularly weird about the dream was how unbelievably clear and detailed it was. I remember production staff trying different footwear on me; I remember different foods on the buffet table; and I remember the look on Louis Spence's face when I walked through the door.
Sorry. There are few things more boring than other people's dreams, but I still can't get over how real it was. Worrying.
Fortunately the rest of my week was far less camp. In fact, it was a very full-on week, as far as lessons and tests were concerned. Congratulations to Mhairi, Fergus and James, who all passed their at the first attempt this week. Mhairi was supposed to have taken her test last December and was understandably disappointed when it was cancelled due to snow. She rebooked for January but had to cancel that one due to school exams. But, to her credit, she didn't give up on her lessons and it paid off when she passed with just one minor error. An excellent drive.
 Congratulations also to Marcus, who passed his test this week. He was so close to passing when he took his first test, but signalled too late on a 60mph road = 1 serious fault.  A much better feeling for him after this week's test.
The week finished of with some very exciting news..... But I can't tell you about it just yet.... Maybe next week.
Sweet dreams.

Room for improvement (but not much)

10.00am: A bright, sunny morning and Ullapool is a patriotic palette of red tulips, whitewashed cottages and blue sky, with a variety of blossom-filled trees lining the roads. Only three pupils out on test today, so my chances of a 100% pass rate are better than usual.

Maggie is already out, on her 9.37am test. This is her third attempt and, if she can conquer her nerves, she could pass easily. She just finds the artificial aspect of tests (and even her early lessons) intimidating. A few weeks back I simply asked her to drive around Ullapool, going wherever she wanted to go. I suggested that she drive from her house to work, stop off at a shop and just drive as though I wasn’t there. She drove perfectly and I could not fault a single aspect of the drive. So we know she can do it, she just needs to forget that she has someone sitting next to her.

11.03am: Fantastic! Maggie was still shaking at the start of her test, but she passed with only 1 minor fault. Very pleased for her as she decided, early on, that, having started on her course, she was going to see it through until she passed. It’s surprising, but not every pupil is like that.

 James is currently out on his 10.44am test, his first attempt. He was with me when I was waiting for Maggie to complete her test, so he knew how well she had done. “No pressure James, but you have to beat Maggie’s result.” I suggested.

1.52pm: Alas, James could not better Maggie’s result (who could?), but he came very close, passing with just 2 minor faults. Surprisingly, they were both for just holding back slightly when it was safe to go up towards the speed limit. But that is a big effort on his part because early lessons involved a lot of me trying to slow him down.

I am trying to rush a smoked mackerel and beetroot salad and an espresso at The Ceilidh Place. Shame, because it is too good to rush, but Franci is currently out on her first attempt and will be finishing soon. High hopes that Franci will complete a clean sweep for me because, since she concentrated on her use of mirrors, it has been hard to fault her driving; I could almost nod off and have a crafty sleep during her lessons.

8.40pm: Finally, after three tests and six lessons, I am done for the day. Franci could not beat Maggie’s result either, but she matched it, passing with one single minor fault (not indicating to move off when there was a car ahead approaching). Absolutely fantastic drives from all three pupils and I finally have my clean sweep at an Ullapool test day. Ok, it was only three tests, but still 100%. James’ mum was asking me if I get nervous waiting for my pupils to return from their tests. I do; it doesn’t matter how good I think their driving is, there is always the possibility that they will make a silly mistake and I will have to gee them up and get them thinking about their next attempt. Today, I was as sure as it is possible to be that all three would pass, but Maggie, James and Franci excelled themselves and I am extremely proud of them.

It’s going to be hard to better today’s tests next month, but I will certainly try.