The other day an acquaintance drove Jane and I into Inverness. He has been driving for years. I see bad examples of driving every day, but it was very strange being in the car at the time and not saying anything or doing anything about it. We got to our destination and back in one piece, but I’m not sure how. Gear changes seemed completely random, his clearance of other vehicles was alarming, and his speed into bends and junctions was just stupid. I have already confessed to being a reckless driver when I was younger, but it was quite an eye-opener seeing such a bad driver up close.
Last night, I had just finished reading Cloud Atlas for the third time and I needed something else to read. The only thing handy was the Style section of The Sunday Times, which Jane had been reading. Not really my cup of tea, apart from the restaurant review, but then I found a quiz to determine my attitude to fashion. You know the type of thing, you answer a series of multiple-choice questions and, from your answers, you are told what type of person you are. It turns out I am ‘in fashion denial’ and have less interest in fashion than even Mrs Ed Miliband. Doubtless you are not too concerned about my sartorial stance, but it gave me an idea…. I could set you a quiz to find out what sort of a driver you are. Ready?
1. You are taking a journey along a rural road with a 60mph speed limit, then through a village with a 30mph speed limit, then another rural road with a 60mph. You should
a. Drive, within the speed limit, at an appropriate speed, subject to road, traffic and weather conditions.
b. Maintain a steady 40 - 45mph throughout the whole journey.
c. Get there as fast as possible, but why do these other drivers keep getting in my way?
2. You should use your indicators
a. Early enough to indicate your intentions, but not so early so as to confuse.
b. When I work out where I should be going, but it is usually not worth bothering by then.
c. What are indicators?
3. The driving test
a. Should be considered as the minimum requirement to allow you on the road, but you should always strive to continuously improve your driving.
b. We didn’t have driving tests in my day Dear.
c. Is for wimps. Learner drivers should be kept off the roads until five years after they have passed their test.
4. You notice that someone is in the process of overtaking you. You
a. Check your mirrors and the road ahead and maintain a constant speed, but watching out for the possibility that the overtaking vehicle may move quickly back in.
b. Brake and swerve to the left to avoid the maniac.
c. Accelerate - Who do they think they are, trying to overtake me?!
5. You are approaching a roundabout and you want to go straight ahead, taking the second exit. You
a. Check mirrors and keep to the left lane, but looking out for road signs or markings which would indicate otherwise. You bring your speed down progressively, selecting the appropriate gear. When it is safe, you enter the roundabout, keeping to your lane, indicating left as you pass the first exit.
b. Hedge your bets by approaching over two lanes. Stop at the roundabout so that you can work out which way to go. Decide to go anyway (despite the oncoming traffic) and work out which way to go while you are on the roundabout.
c. Obey the Euclidean postulate that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.
6. You are on a 60mph single-carriageway, with few safe overtaking opportunities. Ahead of you there is a convoy of 15 vehicles, all maintaining a safe separation, being held up by a car driving at 45 mph. Your destination is 4 miles away. You
a. Maintain a safe separation from the vehicle ahead, dropping back further if the vehicle behind gets too close. Even if was safe to overtake all the vehicles, we would only get to our destination approximately one minute earlier, so it is pointless considering it.
b. Are the vehicle doing 45mph at the front of the queue.
c. Floor it, overtaking as many vehicles as you can, trailing a cloud of fumes behind you and thinking that all the drivers you are overtaking must think you have a great car and are the world’s greatest driver. You brake and squeeze into the gaps that these vehicles have left when oncoming lorries flash their lights at you, giving them the finger as they avoid you by inches.
7. You are driving in the Highlands when you see the most spectacular view. You
a. Look for somewhere safe, legal and convenient to pull over and take a look.
b. Slow down or even stop right there. Take some photos from the window of your vehicle, then drive off just as the following vehicle is overtaking you.
c. I haven’t got time for ‘views‘.
8. You hear an emergency vehicle siren. You
a. Check your mirrors to see how close the following vehicle is, then try to establish where it is coming from. If it is on your road you try to decide if the best course of action would be to slow down or stop. Then, as they pass, you look for the possibility of there being more emergency vehicles before considering whether an indicator would be necessary or helpful.
b. Panic and stop.
c. Wind the window up because the noise is interrupting your phone call.
9. A learner driver is stopped at an uphill traffic light in front of you. You
a. Keep a good separation distance, allowing for the possibility that the car may roll back or stall.
b. Stop right behind the car and panic when the learner starts rolling back.
c. Stop millimetres behind the car and blast your horn within 2 seconds of the lights changing to green.
10. You are on a winding single-track road with occasional passing spaces. You
a. Drive at an appropriate speed, keeping an eye on where the passing spaces are. When you see an approaching vehicle you check the situation behind you and look for an opportunity for you or the other driver to safely keep to the left. You acknowledge the other driver as they pass and consider whether a signal would be helpful.
b. Wonder why the vehicle in your way is having to reverse.
c. Expect any approaching vehicle to bow down to your superior vehicle and get out the way.
How did you get on? If you answered
Mostly ‘B’s - You are a tourist.
Mostly ‘C’s - You are an Audi driver (or possibly a Subaru Impreza, or a 1997 Vauxhall Corsa pimped to the max).
Mostly ‘A’s - You are a liar. (although I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are one of my pupils).
Saturday, 30 July 2011
Monday, 25 July 2011
BSM Inverness R.I.P.
I notice that the BSM instructors around here are gradually losing their Fiat 500s and returning to the Vauxhall Corsa. If I was still with BSM I would be disappointed by this, but I imagine I would be in the minority. Prefer the new livery though - the livery on the Fiat did not really stand out.
I also notice (in fact this happened a few weeks ago), that the BSM office in Inverness has finally closed. A shame, because it was where I started. It clearly made good economic sense to close High St centres as people increasingly use the internet to book lessons, but Inverness still had a large walk-in trade.
Good luck to Eddie, the office manager, with whatever he is doing now. He told me that BSM had offered to train him to become an instructor, but he was undecided.
Good luck also to Susan, a former BSM instructor who has now gone independent and, very sensibly plumped for a Clio to teach in.
I also notice (in fact this happened a few weeks ago), that the BSM office in Inverness has finally closed. A shame, because it was where I started. It clearly made good economic sense to close High St centres as people increasingly use the internet to book lessons, but Inverness still had a large walk-in trade.
Good luck to Eddie, the office manager, with whatever he is doing now. He told me that BSM had offered to train him to become an instructor, but he was undecided.
Good luck also to Susan, a former BSM instructor who has now gone independent and, very sensibly plumped for a Clio to teach in.
Sunday, 24 July 2011
Life and death
 |
| Carmen and her baby sister |
It's not my place to announce my thoughts about Norway here. It is completely beyond comprehension. Sometimes when we hear news stories of some atrocity Jane will ask 'How can someone do something like that?' and I am relieved that I cannot even begin to imagine. The best thing that can happen is for the killer to spend the rest of his life rotting in a cell covered with indelible images of all the families of those whose lives he destroyed. His name should not be remembered.
I vaguely remember my parents being shocked when, on the drive home from a family holiday in Dorset, the radio announced that Elvis Presley had died. My strongest memory of John Lennon's death is the girls in art class, the next morning, crying and I couldn't understand why. I remember being disappointed, almost betrayed, when Ian Curtis committed suicide - what would now happen to Joy Division, the band I still consider to be my favourite? Kurt Cobain meant nothing, I just considered it stupid. Michael Jackson was a bit of a shock. But, despite her obvious problems, the death of Amy Winehouse really did shock me. Musical taste is personal and I understand that she was not everyone's cup of tea. Her musical style did not really fit in with my usual taste, but I could listen to 'Frank' and 'Back to black' almost endlessly - she just had a way of making every syllable interesting. One might argue that Adele's voice is just as good, but I am already bored of her albums and I don't own them. If you want to disagree, fine, it would be a very boring world if we all had the same taste.
One thing that surprises me is the number of people complaining that news of Amy Winehouse's death has diverted media attention away from Norway. Both are very tragic. Norway is horrific and I hope that nothing like it will ever happen again, but I find it difficult to understand the mentality of people who have crawled out of the woodwork to slag off a troubled, but very talented young woman because of the timing of her death.
At the moment, the people of Norway and the family, friends and fans of Amy Winehouse might be thinking that they wish the world could end right now. It won't be tomorrow, it may not even be next month, for some people it may take years, but one day they will see that life goes on.....
Saturday, 23 July 2011
Ullapool Tall Ships Festival
The Ullapool Tall Ships festival was great fun. Nice to take a few 'proper' days off and, judging by how busy the village got, driving lessons would not have been too productive. The weather forecast was not good, but, although not exactly 'July' weather, it wasn't too bad. Around Friday lunchtime it was actually quite hot and, even when it did drizzle, it did nothing to dampen the festival atmosphere.There was talk of trying to beat the world record for the most people taking part in a 'Strip the Willow' dance. About 500 people took part (pictured), some way short of the record, but, even if they had have taken the record, it would have beaten by 2000 people in Oban, just an hour later.
Perhaps it was because Loch Broom is so sheltered, but it was a little disappointing that the Tall Ships did not come into Ullapool under sail. I have to admit, I was expecting a few more ships, but the ones that did dock were very impressive. Jane and I enjoyed the hospitality of Sarah and Sandy Mackenzie, in their B&B overlooking the harbour. The first evening Sandy took us out in his boat to take a closer look at the ships. After that he got his fishing rod out and, in complete contrast to my most recent fishing experiences, caught two pollack and a mackerel within just a few minutes. Now that kind of fishing I can understand.There was live music on the pier each night. We went the first night, where The Vatersay Boys kept the whole crowd dancing. Afterwards, it was refreshing that, when you heard the thump-thump-thump of an approaching car's sound system, it was Ceilidh music that was being belted out. There was plenty of choice for live music in the pubs and bars on Saturday night, so we passed on The Saw Doctors, but it didn't really matter who had been playing because everyone was just out to have a good time.
Friday, 15 July 2011
Sitting on the dock of the bay
What do you think? Should I be blogging regularly - say, every 3 or 4 days - or just when the mood takes me? The reason I ask is because I haven't been too prolific of late, but I see from my Statcounter thingy that various people seem to check this site daily.
Unfortunately, the sad truth is that nothing too dramatic has been happening recently. A couple of new pupils since I last wrote, one test and no buses ramming me.
The test was disappointing. It was her second attempt and recent lessons had given her much more confidence compared to her first attempt. It is always a good sign when they can drive around and I almost forget they are a learner. However, a momentary lapse in her control during the manoeuvre cost her her test and, with only a handful of driving faults, the examiner actually apologised for the result, saying what a nice drive it had been. That was good for her to hear and I'm pleased that she is being so positive and has immediately rescheduled another test and a series of lessons. Too often pupils become a bit sporadic in their lessons after a fail.
I have begun using alternative routes to get around my area, especially Nairn and Inverness. A sudden explosion in the number of new traffic lights in Nairn, plus the building of a Sainsburys (their first branch within over 100 miles of here) has led to a series of roadworks. I don't usually mind this, but it gives me a good reason for taking the scenic route through Cawdor and Croy. This weekend was worse on the A96 (Inverness - Aberdeen) due to the Scottish Golf open at the new Castle Stuart course, a few miles east of Inverness. A lovely course and it was a shame that it coincided with the worst weather for months - it is not often that a premier golf tournament is disrupted by landslides.
At this precise moment, I am sat on a bench at Ullapool harbour, overlooking Loch Broom, enjoying the early morning sunshine while the village slowly wakes. Just when I thought it couldn't get much better, a pupil who stopped her lessons last summer to go travelling in Asia has just walked up to me and paid me for her last lesson (almost a year ago), as well as arranging more lessons now she is back in the village.
The village may be very tranquil at the moment, but I am sure that will all change over the next 24 hours. Not only is it the weekend of the Hebridean Celtic Festival (with Ullapool being the ferry terminal to get to the Hebrides), but the village has been chosen as a guest port for the 2011 Cruise in Company Tall Ships race .
Ullapool is only a small village, with a population of approx 1,400, and, during the winter, it is an easy place to drive around. That starts to change through the Summer when tourists swell the numbers and driving becomes a little more challenging. But with the number of people expected in the village this weekend I don't think conditions will be conducive to productive driving lessons. Conditions will be much more suited to me and Jane taking the weekend off and enjoying all that the Tall Ships Festival has to offer.
(Later in the day). The last of the day's lessons ended just in time. By the time my last lesson today started, the village was getting quite busy and people were just parking anywhere. Approaching an uphill T-junction, we could see cars parked right on the junction, making it very difficult to see when it was clear to emerge. My pupil, Mairead, is quite competent, but this was a real challenge. She slowed right down, selected 1st gear, brought the clutch back up to the bite, allowing her to very slowly creep up the incline at a speed that allowed her to determine whether or not it was clear - perfect. Some prat in a grey VW was getting stupidly close behind her, so she could not afford to roll back. But when she saw an approaching car she dipped the clutch slightly too much, felt the car beginning to roll back and, instead of braking and securing the car with the handbrake, she tried to find the bite too quickly and stalled. A common scenario. No panic, she just started the car and prepared to move off again. The prat behind then thought it would be helpful to toot his horn. What made him think this would help, I have no idea. Consequently, passers-by and people sat in the garden of a cafe turned to look at us, which did even less to help. Mairead managed the clutch perfectly to complete the emerge, but she was, understandably, a little flustered after that. For those of you who may be unsure, the red 'L'-plates on my car mean that it is being driven by a LEARNER driver. At the end of the day, my car and my actions promote my business, so the best thing was to calmly help Mairead move on from the situation..... despite the fact that the devil on my shoulder was urging me to put the car in reverse, just to see the look on his face.
Unfortunately, the sad truth is that nothing too dramatic has been happening recently. A couple of new pupils since I last wrote, one test and no buses ramming me.
The test was disappointing. It was her second attempt and recent lessons had given her much more confidence compared to her first attempt. It is always a good sign when they can drive around and I almost forget they are a learner. However, a momentary lapse in her control during the manoeuvre cost her her test and, with only a handful of driving faults, the examiner actually apologised for the result, saying what a nice drive it had been. That was good for her to hear and I'm pleased that she is being so positive and has immediately rescheduled another test and a series of lessons. Too often pupils become a bit sporadic in their lessons after a fail.
I have begun using alternative routes to get around my area, especially Nairn and Inverness. A sudden explosion in the number of new traffic lights in Nairn, plus the building of a Sainsburys (their first branch within over 100 miles of here) has led to a series of roadworks. I don't usually mind this, but it gives me a good reason for taking the scenic route through Cawdor and Croy. This weekend was worse on the A96 (Inverness - Aberdeen) due to the Scottish Golf open at the new Castle Stuart course, a few miles east of Inverness. A lovely course and it was a shame that it coincided with the worst weather for months - it is not often that a premier golf tournament is disrupted by landslides.
At this precise moment, I am sat on a bench at Ullapool harbour, overlooking Loch Broom, enjoying the early morning sunshine while the village slowly wakes. Just when I thought it couldn't get much better, a pupil who stopped her lessons last summer to go travelling in Asia has just walked up to me and paid me for her last lesson (almost a year ago), as well as arranging more lessons now she is back in the village.
Ullapool is only a small village, with a population of approx 1,400, and, during the winter, it is an easy place to drive around. That starts to change through the Summer when tourists swell the numbers and driving becomes a little more challenging. But with the number of people expected in the village this weekend I don't think conditions will be conducive to productive driving lessons. Conditions will be much more suited to me and Jane taking the weekend off and enjoying all that the Tall Ships Festival has to offer.
(Later in the day). The last of the day's lessons ended just in time. By the time my last lesson today started, the village was getting quite busy and people were just parking anywhere. Approaching an uphill T-junction, we could see cars parked right on the junction, making it very difficult to see when it was clear to emerge. My pupil, Mairead, is quite competent, but this was a real challenge. She slowed right down, selected 1st gear, brought the clutch back up to the bite, allowing her to very slowly creep up the incline at a speed that allowed her to determine whether or not it was clear - perfect. Some prat in a grey VW was getting stupidly close behind her, so she could not afford to roll back. But when she saw an approaching car she dipped the clutch slightly too much, felt the car beginning to roll back and, instead of braking and securing the car with the handbrake, she tried to find the bite too quickly and stalled. A common scenario. No panic, she just started the car and prepared to move off again. The prat behind then thought it would be helpful to toot his horn. What made him think this would help, I have no idea. Consequently, passers-by and people sat in the garden of a cafe turned to look at us, which did even less to help. Mairead managed the clutch perfectly to complete the emerge, but she was, understandably, a little flustered after that. For those of you who may be unsure, the red 'L'-plates on my car mean that it is being driven by a LEARNER driver. At the end of the day, my car and my actions promote my business, so the best thing was to calmly help Mairead move on from the situation..... despite the fact that the devil on my shoulder was urging me to put the car in reverse, just to see the look on his face.
Monday, 4 July 2011
Public image limited
I burnt my wrist whilst doing some experimental cookery the other day. I didn't think too much about it at the time but, this morning, as I was drawing a diagram for my pupil I noticed the unsightly burns and became quite self-conscious about it. Nothing I could do, as I was wearing a short-sleeved shirt, and it was ridiculous to consider that my pupil may have been bothered by it... she probably didn't even notice it.
Last Summer I was enjoying a day off when one of my pupils called and asked if she could try and fit in an extra lesson before her test. The only possible time was that afternoon and, having nothing special planned, I agreed to give up a couple of hours of my afternoon to try and boost her confidence. Being my day off, I was wearing knee-length shorts and a T-shirt, with flip-flop things on my feet. I usually don't give the slightest consideration to my appearance, as my wife will testify, except when I am working. As soon as I picked my pupil up I became quite embarrassed about the fact that I was not dressed for work.
Ever since I started as an instructor I have always worn a shirt and trousers (or smart jeans) and I usually wear a tie (unless it is too warm). I feel much more comfortable in old jeans and a T-shirt, but, when teaching, I am trying to portray a professional appearance. I am sure that many of my pupils probably don't even notice what I wear, but even if only one does, then it is worth the effort.
It is not just clothes. There are all sorts of factors which may change the perception a customer (or potential customer) may have of me as an instructor.
Are my hands clean? It may sound silly, but they have to touch the same controls that I have been touching (and I keep anti-bacterial wipes in my car for when the odd pupil doesn't look to have the cleanest of hands).
Is my car clean inside and out? There have been some weeks when I have cleaned my car four times, but it doesn't look good if my car is dirty. And, with the exception of my diary, my laptop, an A4 notebook and some carefully chosen CDs , I try to keep the interior of my car as clear as possible.
Of course my driving has to be exemplary too. I have seen other instructors speeding, smoking in their car, parking in inappropriate places and even using their mobiles while driving. But, if I noticed it, then it is possible that a potential customer noticed it too. When I was with BSM there was a junction near to the Inverness office with a road sign indicating 'No right turn', but in small letters beneath it said 'For vehicles over 3 tonnes'. People used to call Eddie, the office manager at BSM, and complain that they had seen an instructor turning right into that road. And it wasn't the only time that someone would call and comment on something that they had seen a BSM car do. Of course, I'm sure their own driving was completely without fault.
Last Thursday afternoon, I was driving between lessons in Ullapool, listening to the women's semi-final at Wimbledon on radio 5live. Maria Sharapova was beating Sabine Lisicki and, being a pleasant warm day, I had the windows open. I was slowing down to approach a cross-roads when Sharapova gave her most enthusiastic grunt. Instantly, every pedestrian within earshot turned to look at my car. I was hoping that she would do another so that everyone would (hopefully) realise it was the tennis, but she had won the point with that shot, so I drove away from the area with all those people probably wondering what on earth was going on in my car. Orgasmic shrieks are not really what you want to hear from the windows of a driving instructors car.
Last Summer I was enjoying a day off when one of my pupils called and asked if she could try and fit in an extra lesson before her test. The only possible time was that afternoon and, having nothing special planned, I agreed to give up a couple of hours of my afternoon to try and boost her confidence. Being my day off, I was wearing knee-length shorts and a T-shirt, with flip-flop things on my feet. I usually don't give the slightest consideration to my appearance, as my wife will testify, except when I am working. As soon as I picked my pupil up I became quite embarrassed about the fact that I was not dressed for work.
Ever since I started as an instructor I have always worn a shirt and trousers (or smart jeans) and I usually wear a tie (unless it is too warm). I feel much more comfortable in old jeans and a T-shirt, but, when teaching, I am trying to portray a professional appearance. I am sure that many of my pupils probably don't even notice what I wear, but even if only one does, then it is worth the effort.
It is not just clothes. There are all sorts of factors which may change the perception a customer (or potential customer) may have of me as an instructor.
Are my hands clean? It may sound silly, but they have to touch the same controls that I have been touching (and I keep anti-bacterial wipes in my car for when the odd pupil doesn't look to have the cleanest of hands).
Is my car clean inside and out? There have been some weeks when I have cleaned my car four times, but it doesn't look good if my car is dirty. And, with the exception of my diary, my laptop, an A4 notebook and some carefully chosen CDs , I try to keep the interior of my car as clear as possible.
Of course my driving has to be exemplary too. I have seen other instructors speeding, smoking in their car, parking in inappropriate places and even using their mobiles while driving. But, if I noticed it, then it is possible that a potential customer noticed it too. When I was with BSM there was a junction near to the Inverness office with a road sign indicating 'No right turn', but in small letters beneath it said 'For vehicles over 3 tonnes'. People used to call Eddie, the office manager at BSM, and complain that they had seen an instructor turning right into that road. And it wasn't the only time that someone would call and comment on something that they had seen a BSM car do. Of course, I'm sure their own driving was completely without fault.
Last Thursday afternoon, I was driving between lessons in Ullapool, listening to the women's semi-final at Wimbledon on radio 5live. Maria Sharapova was beating Sabine Lisicki and, being a pleasant warm day, I had the windows open. I was slowing down to approach a cross-roads when Sharapova gave her most enthusiastic grunt. Instantly, every pedestrian within earshot turned to look at my car. I was hoping that she would do another so that everyone would (hopefully) realise it was the tennis, but she had won the point with that shot, so I drove away from the area with all those people probably wondering what on earth was going on in my car. Orgasmic shrieks are not really what you want to hear from the windows of a driving instructors car.
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