Nobody likes a Smartarse

I had very little experience of teaching anyone to drive before I became a driving instructor. The only time I can think of was when I was Landlord of The Cross Keys, Totternhoe. One of my bar staff said that she wanted to learn to drive and could I teach her? 'No problem, I thought. I had been driving for over ten years by then, thought I knew everything there was to know about driving and would be happy to pass on my expertise to someone else.
I am having a mental block and cannot remember her real name - we called her 'Squirty', in reference to her verbal diarrhoea. I think I had an old Ford Mondeo, but, obviously, no dual-controls. The pub car park wasn't the biggest, but I thought it would be an ideal area to teach her how to get the car moving, do a bit of steering, then she would be able to drive out of the village (looking back, I obviously had no idea then of how to teach someone to drive). Needless to say, we never even got out of the car park and I don't know if she ever learned to drive.
When I met Jane, my wife, her eldest daughter, Rachel, had already passed her driving test. Then, a few years later, her other daughter, Anna, took lessons and passed her test in Inverness while I was still working in Cambridgeshire. So I had no input when it came to how either of them drive (so don't blame me). Anna's boyfriend, Ross, is 23 but had never got around to learning to drive. It's his decision if he wants to learn to drive, or not, so I have never interfered. When Anna and Ross discovered that Anna was expecting their second child, they decided that perhaps it was time Ross finally learned to drive.
So, this morning, it was Ross' first attempt at the driving test. No matter how much I try to relax my pupils, they will be nervous. I have only ever had two, maybe three pupils who genuinely did not seem even the slightest bit nervous before their test. Ross was definitely not one of those.
What is there to be nervous about? It could be various reasons:
It is your first test and you are not sure what will happen.
It is not your first test and you know what is going to happen.
You are not confident in your driving.
Your lessons have not been going as well as you would have liked recently.
You just don’t like exam situations.
You have heard stories about certain examiners or things they might ask you to do.
You don’t want to go through it all again
It could be any, some, or none of the above. I would guess, however, that the most likely reason is the worry of what others might think. Think about it; if no-one knew about your test, would it matter quite so much if you did not pass?
I only remember bits and pieces of my own driving test, when I was 17. But I clearly remember being told that both my parents, my aunties and uncles, my grandparents and my cousin had ALL passed first time…. No pressure then.
 I stalled three times in my test and was absolutely convinced I had failed. As we approached the end of the test, all I could think about was my younger brothers finding it hilarious that I had been the first in our family to have failed. Fortunately, my examiner considered that, even having stalled, I had demonstrated that I was safe and (usually) in control, so he passed me and I couldn’t wait to tell everyone.
I think this especially true in Ross’ case. He was nervous because he was probably worried about what Anna, his friends and his family might say. The thing is, because I know his family, and because his girlfriend is my step-daughter, I also felt that same pressure and (stupidly) wondered what they might think about my qualities as a driving instructor if I didn’t get Ross through his test, first-time, with flying colours.
Therefore, I was as happy as Ross when he passed with 3 minor faults. And I was straight on the phone to Jane before Ross had even got out of the car (I allowed him the pleasure of telling Anna the good news).
So everybody’s happy today. Being the dad of his girlfriend, however, I have been robbed of something I could tease him about. Unfortunately, for Ross, there is one thing about which I can tease him: His test was today, Wednesday morning at 10.44am, and we had planned a final lesson on Tuesday evening, after he finished work. Late Monday night he text me to ask “Is it tomorrow night my lesson?” I could not resist replying “Unless you would rather leave it until after your test?”
Don’t you just hate it when your girlfriend’s dad is a smartarse.