Tuesday 22 September 2009

Bonktastic!

According to 'a survey', Forres (the nearest town to me) is 'The Sexiest town in Britain' (with Elgin a close second)! This is an indisputable FACT because The Sun says so: (http://www.thesun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/2637874/Scots-spend-35m-a-year-to-boost-their-sex-lives.html). "Lusty locals spend two-and-a-half times the national average on their sex lives." I particularly like the way they have printed a photo of Forres High Street and, beneath it, reported "...there's no sign on this Forres street of their hot habits."
Since reading this - and, before you ask, NO, I did not read it in The Sun - I have been paying a little extra attention to the daily goings-on in Forres. So far, there is not much to report: No aisle in MacKenzie & Cruickshank devoted to Jack Rabbits or Pleasure Pumps, and I didn't see a single person in Tescos teasing the cucumbers with their tongues.
It's not so surprising really. If you look at the figures quoted, even in the rampant hotspot of Forres, the average amount each adult spends, daily, on their sex life is four and a half pence... 31p a week... that's not even enough to buy a Walnut Whip (now there's a sex toy).
That's enough of that.... I'm off to the BSM Instructor Forum - the internet equivalent of a cold shower.

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