Ups and downs and ups.

6.47am. Third (sometimes fourth) Wednesday in the month, so you know the score by now. I have x number of pupils taking their test in Ullapool. Yawn. Well, you don't have to read on if you don't want to.

We have been on a really good run. In March I had 6 pupils (out of 8) pass, then last month, all three passed (2 with 1 minor fault, 1 with 2 minor faults). Today I have 5 pupils on test. I am as confident as I can be about all of them, but you never know. Two of them in particular could be chauffeurs, their driving is so calm and precise, but all it takes is one momentary lapse and they come back with a fail.

9.50am. A good start. Congratulations to Matthew, passing with 3 minor faults on his first attempt. I enjoyed a Big Hot Roll (Bacon, sausage and egg) and a pot of Earl Grey at the Tea Store café while he was out and I was mildly concerned when I saw him approaching a motor-home that was stopped opposite the road he wanted to turn into, and immediately before a blind bend – it could not have picked a worse spot to park. No problem; he brought his speed right down, indicated and moved out nice and early before committing himself to pass (although a few minutes later I learned that one of his three faults had been selecting second gear a bit too early at that particular point). Anyway, a job well done and good luck with your band, 'Torridon', on the festival circuit this year.

11.01am. So far, so good. Kim, five months pregnant, and feeling under pressure to pass first time as a result, did just that; passing with 6 minor faults. As a passenger, she is possibly one of the most relaxing drivers I have had the pleasure to teach. A touch careless with the indicators and a bit of coasting, but I'm very pleased that both you and the examiner now agree with me that you can drive.

11.45am. Congratulations to Ruth. Another first-time pass. I shall miss our lessons. It was the theoretical questions she posed me that made her lessons one of the week's highlights. Questions such as “What do I do in my test if there is a spider in the car?” and, on one memorable occasion, when I asked her to pull up just by the next lamp-post, she asked “What's a lamp-post”? I considered that, being an intelligent lady, she was being all philosophical and existential, but no, she was just being dizzy. There were many more questions that tested the limits of my knowledge, but I hope I tested hers too.

Turned a bit chilly now. The sun is trying to come out, but the wind is a bit fresh. I am sat on a tree stump at The Pottery Centre, which is where the tests begin and end. My pupil currently out on test is the only one not taking her test for the first time today. I was so convinced she would pass last time (March), but she allowed herself to get too close to a slow-moving truck and consequently failed. Usually, I could let her drive around without saying a word, but nerves have got to her today and, in the four minutes we had to practice before her test, there were a couple of silly blips, such as slowing right down and engaging 1^st gear for a junction that could easily have been negotiated in 2^nd. Nothing serious, but it won't help her nerves. This is the trouble with Ullapool tests; because they are literally back-to-back, with barely 5 – 10 minutes between them, my pupils are often fairly 'cold' when they go out on test. Virtually all my pupils in other areas ask for an hour's lesson immediately preceding their test; I know I did when I took my test. However, I have two pupils in Elgin, with tests approaching, that both want to just meet me at the test centre, with no lessons beforehand. Their reasoning is that their nerves would build up in the hour before. I will go along with their wishes, but I have told them that I will keep that preceding hour free in case they change their mind.

I was amused earlier to learn that another instructor had been trying to poach one of my pupils. The cheek of it! Not just once, but on several occasions, he has asked her if she wants lessons with him, despite the fact that she has told him she is having lessons with me. Ultimately, it is the pupil's decision, but I just have to make sure that my pupils enjoy their lessons and feel as though they are making good progress. Hopefully then, they will stick with me rather than go with an unprofessional trainee instructor.

1.41pm. Alas, my fourth test pupil of the day was unsuccessful. She had to emerge out of a tricky uphill T-junction, with parked vehicles restricting her view on both sides. I wasn't sat in on the test, so I don't know, but the examiner said that she had not made thorough enough checks on both sides before emerging. At the moment she is angry and concerned that she has 'let me down'. She has done no such thing. I think her driving is comfortably good enough to pass the test, and she never lets me down in her lessons. Perhaps she honestly believed it was safe to emerge, but the examiner had not yet made up his mind. It's no big deal. It's not life or death and she'll get another chance before too long.

My last test pupil of the day is currently out, negotiating the coach-loads of tourists who are wandering aimlessly around the harbour area, and the other drivers who are doing U-turns in crossroads. I have to confess, I'm a bit jittery about her. Her last few lessons have been great and, at the end of her last lesson, I told her I was sad. “Why's that?” She asked. “Because you don't need me anymore.” was my (honest) reply. However, in the lesson immediately before her test she didn't seem to be concentrating fully and her steering was not as accurate as I would have liked. A bit of concentration though, and she should be fine.

2.39pm. Not enough concentration, obviously. Only a handful of minor faults, but a serious fault for her steering. (Hate to say I told you so, as The Hives once said). Sadly, she will not get another chance as she is returning to Poland in a couple of weeks as she and her fiancé prepare for their wedding. At least she went away smiling and confident that she would pass in Poland (so long as she maintains a bit more control on her steering).

As always (with the exception of last month), I am a bit disappointed not to have every pupil pass. Three out of five pupils isn't too bad, but it actually reduces my pass rate. Not that that is of any concern to Kim who has just text me to let me know that she has already sorted out her insurance and has been driving around the village on her own. That's what it is all about and I'm sure the two that did not pass today will soon be able to join her.
Just about time for a quick late lunch and yet another pot of tea before my last five lessons of the day (including two brand new pupils). So, despite the two hiccups and a very long day, I am rewarded with two of the best aspects of this job: Three test passes and new pupils. I would have a little dance, but I might spill my tea.