This week I’ve been in hiding. I haven’t been able to show my face the last few days. In one instant last Thursday night I plummeted from my perch.
There I was, enjoying Bob’s quiz night at The Argyll in Ullapool. It was quite busy for the time of year and there were more teams than usual taking part. Our team, ‘The Devine Comedy’ (a cheesily topical Scottish politics/14th century Italian literature pun) had got off to a bad start, but we were in 2nd place. Smooth-as-coral Bob then asked “Which is the only circular British road sign with three arrows?”
‘Easy… it’s a mini-roundabout. Wait, hang on minute…. Haven’t I seen circular roundabout signs? No… a roundabout is a triangular (warning) sign……’ My thought process continued…. ‘Hmmm, I’m sure I’ve seen some circular roundabout signs….’ And I convinced myself that I had seen circular roundabout signs in both Inverness and Elgin. Bob was starting to ask the next question, so I put down ‘roundabout’.
Now, I used to compile and host pub quizzes, so I believe that the quizmaster is always right. This is especially true in Bob’s case as the quizzes are bought in, so he can only read the answer he is given. The trouble is, I had somehow convinced myself that, every day, I saw circular roundabout signs. I could even strongly picture, in my mind, a circular roundabout sign near Elgin leisure centre. So I voiced my objection. After all, it wasn’t just my quiz reputation now at stake, it was my reputation as a driving instructor. My 99% score in my Driving instructor theory test would count for nothing if I got this wrong. Of course, people in other teams gleefully produced Googled pictures of triangular roundabout signs on their smartphones, but my memory had stubbornly tricked me into being convinced that some roundabout signs were circular and I persisted with my claim. I even vowed to produce photographic evidence at the next quiz.
If I had stopped to think about it, I would have logically realised that a roundabout sign could not be circular (a circular sign is an order…. Although that logic doesn’t explain why a mini-roundabout sign is circular). A few days later, I was teaching in Elgin, and I we approached the leisure centre…. “Nooooo!” The roundabout sign there was, indeed, a triangle. I frantically struggled to think of where I might have seen a circular roundabout sign. For the next few days I was still convinced that I had seen circular roundabout signs and I looked in vain for them.
I KNEW that a mini-roundabout sign is circular, so I can’t imagine why I did not put that answer down. “Never mind,” you may say, “it’s only a quiz.” But, to me, my reputations as both a quiz fiend and a knowledgeable driving instructor have been vaporised. Tomorrow night I will have to slink in to the Argyll and hope that no-one remembers to ask for photographic proof of my mythical circular roundabout signs. Perhaps I will sneak in a copy of the Highway Code, just in case Bob asks any more driving-related questions.
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