A month ago I considered whether I wanted to make any New Year’s resolutions. I resolve to win the lottery…. I’ll just have to buy a lotto ticket one day. Sadly, I’m so lacking in imagination, that I couldn’t think of any meaningful resolution I wanted to make. The only thing I considered was the pitifully lame “Give up Facebook and Twitter.” Hardly life-changing, world-saving stuff. It’s not as if I actually spend much time on either site (although I do have an inclination for ‘Bejewelled Blitz’ on Facebook). Ultimately, I decided to give them both a further year’s trial (and then probably not make any decision).
Of the two, I think Twitter will prove the more enduring. Someone once said something along the lines of ‘Facebook is full of your family and friends; Twitter is full of people who you wish were your family or friends.’ Very true in my case; only a couple of people I ‘follow’, or who follow me on Twitter are friends or family. The rest are comprised of fellow driving instructors, columnists, comedians and cricketers.
On the face of it, Facebook’s versatility and variety should make it the more interesting, but the brevity of tweets require people to get to the point quickly on Twitter, which keeps it fresh. A common criticism (and a fair one) is that Twitter is full of people telling you what they are having for dinner (or driving instructors thrilling everyone by listing what lessons they have that day), but, no problem, simply press ‘un-follow’.
What keeps me checking in is the shining wit (not a Spoonerism). Whether it is the slightly unhinged humour of columnist Caitlin Moran, the silliness of Viz Twop Tips or the sharp topical wit of various wags (as opposed to WAGs). Some chucklesome tweets regarding the football transfer window included the following:
Twop Tip: Replicate the transfer deadline day in your works canteen by panic-buying a Pot Noodle for £20, a minute before they close.
Breaking news: Torres to Chelsea deal breaks down after John Terry fails to agree terms with Torres’ wife.
False alarm: World-class German full-back seen at Spurs lodge was really Hutton dressed as Lahm.
Little Britain pair sign for Liverpool. (With new signings Andy Carroll and Luis Suarez, Liverpool now have Lou and Andy up front.)
Right. It’s time I got my finger out and got off to work (although I could manage a couple of games of Bejewelled Blitz first).
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