We have lift off!

Today, I finally launch my new driving school. Ok, it may seem a bit grand to say ‘driving school’ when it is just me but, who knows, I may take on other instructors in the future.

I’m really excited about it, and a good, confident ‘excited’ too…. not a nervous ‘excited’. I have said it before, but I am not leaving BSM because I have any problem with them. I have no personal experience with Red, the AA or any other driving school, but I would have no hesitation in recommending BSM to anyone thinking of training to become a driving instructor. Once you have qualified though, consider your options. I liked the supply of pupils - sometimes not enough, sometimes too much - although the supply strangely dried-up a couple of months ago. I liked the fact that, if anything went wrong - with the car, with pupils, with payments - someone from BSM would do what they could to fix it. I liked the cars - the Corsa, although a little dull, was a good tuition car, and the Fiat 500, although a little underpowered and slightly sensitive, has been fun to drive and teach in; I shall miss it. And I liked the camaraderie and sense of ‘belonging’ with other BSM instructors and office staff. All in all, I (just about) considered it worthwhile paying the franchise fee each week. I lost count of the number of times I would be at test centres, chatting with other instructors, who would urge me to leave BSM and go independent; I would “never look back” they would say. However, many of these instructors would also say “I am really busy at the moment. I’ve got 27 hours this week.” busy?! PAH! As someone who has spent years running pubs, restaurants and hotels, anything less than 60 hours is part-time! So any thoughts of ‘going independent’ were always checked by concerns about how I would attract my own pupils. Where should I advertise? What should I charge? What happens if I don’t have enough pupils?

Over the last nine months, for various reasons, I have started to get a lot more pupils approaching me directly, rather than through BSM. I’m not going to list everything I did because it’s dog-eat-dog (as Adam Ant once said) out there and why should I give any advice to ‘the competition’? However, I was generating enough new pupils to make me think that perhaps I no longer needed to pay BSM to do this for me.

Once the decision had been made to leave BSM, I was then faced with countless new questions: What do I call my new business? What car do I choose? Do I buy or lease a car? What about the cheaper franchises (where the driving school provides the car, but no pupils), such as AA Solo, BSM AFI, etc?

I wasn’t too fussy about the car, but, with the mileage I do, I was fairly set on a diesel - that ruled out the AA, who only provide petrol cars. I considered BSM associated franchise, but it is a lot of money for a car, but no supply of pupils. Although, ultimately, it may be better for me to buy a tuition car and replace it every 18-24 months, depreciation would mean that it would not be hugely cheaper than leasing a car but I would have various worries (maintenance, paperwork, replacement cars etc), which I would not have if I leased a car. So, for the first one or two years at least, I am going to lease a car and see how that goes.

But what car? No choice whilst at BSM, just the Fiat 500. But I still put the Fiat in my shortlist (although a diesel version). Other cars that made it into my shortlist included the Ford Fiesta, the Mazda 2 and maybe the VW Polo, but I was inclined towards the increasingly ubiquitous Fiesta. In fact, back in April,, when I thought I would only have to give BSM one month’s notice, I had actually gone ahead and placed an order for the lease of a new Fiesta. So I was definitely not a happy bunny when BSM said I had to give three months notice; I did not want to pay for two cars, so I had to cancel the Fiesta order.

A month ago, I was in Ullapool enjoying a lunch-break in the sun, when a car pulled up in front of me. My instant reaction was ‘Wow! I want one of those’ - and I am not usually an ‘I want one of those’ person (unless it comes to British Sea Power CDs, aniseed twists or ginger biscuits). When the occupants had walked away I had a sneaky peek at their car. My mind was almost made up and, a week later, was confirmed after a test drive. It is a car which, as well as being great to drive, radiates class, quality, sophistication and sexiness - just like me.

So on this beautiful, sunny morning, I am sat on the Inverness - Glasgow Megabus, on my way to pick up my brand new Renault Clio. I was initially a little disgruntled by the fact that the car lease company would only deliver as far north as Glasgow, but now the day has arrived, I am enjoying my three-and-a-half hour journey south to meet the transporter. I feel like a kid the night before Christmas.

But what about the name? After all the tortuous mental wrangles, what snappy, defining word(s) did I choose for my new driving school? I would observe other independent instructors and note that I could not read a lot of their names until they were very close. I wanted something short, so that the letters could be large enough to be read from a distance. I liked the idea of incorporating an ‘L’ into the name, but that was not essential. I love driving and am saddened by the grim-faced and competitive nature of some drivers (and instructors), so, for a long time I was set on ‘SmiLe’. I have seen one or two ‘Smile’ driving schools on the internet and I liked the imagery. Unfortunately, while trying to design a logo one day, the face of Marti Pellow popped into my head and I could no longer bring myself to be associated with such an image.

From the age of thirteen, I somehow acquired the nickname ‘Farley’. I’m not entirely sure why, but it may have been my penchant for the extra-large ginger biscuit-type things the school would often provide for desserts. I guess they reminded someone of Farley’s Rusks. Or it may have been someone deciding that, because my surname begins with the first two letters as ‘rusk’, Farley would be an obvious (?) nickname…. I really don’t know how I ended up with the name. Perhaps it was something deeply insulting that has been kept secret from me. Anyway, it was a name that stuck and was soon used by friends, parents, teachers and just about everyone except my grandmother. Last year I wrote about our very influential French teacher, Monsieur Hobbs, and how he (unknowingly) inspired our fad for Franglais. Consequently, ‘Farley’ soon became ‘Farlé’, and then just ‘Farle’. Thirty years later, my wife, Jane, said “Why don’t you call it ‘Farle’?” I was initially dismissive, and not because it my wife’s idea rather than mine, but because I thought all those driving instructors out there who simply had their name on their signs were just a little unimaginative. However, I came round to the idea and, when I suggested alternative names to some of my pupils, ‘Farle’ beat ‘Smile’. (I did promise a free driving lesson to whoever came up with the ‘winning’ name, but I don’t think Jane will take very kindly to that).

With the name decided, I then had to think how best to market my fledgling business. I had been pleased when BSM made the decision to stop using the plastic roof signs, but now I am trying to promote my business myself, it is tempting to go back to a roof sign; after all, what is the point in choosing a short name if it is not going to be prominent? Meanwhile, while I shop around for one of those, my self-designed door signs arrived by post yesterday. That was exciting, but frustrating not yet having a car I could instantly go and put them on.

The bus is now two hours from Glasgow. Yesterday I confirmed all arrangements with the car lease company (I resisted the temptation to ask them if they were scared to venture as far north as the Highlands, rather than tentatively venturing up to Glasgow and then running quickly back south). So, shiny new car ordered? Check. Name chosen? Check. Logo designed? Check. Car signage delivered? Check. CD chosen as the first CD to be played in my new car?……… This is critical. Important drives have to be christened with an appropriate fanfare. Before we set off on our annual drive down to Dorset for the summer camping holiday, I would always spend ages deliberating over which essential tracks to include on the compilation cassettes. And then, I would spend a similar time choosing between ‘Teenage Kicks’ by The Undertones, ‘New Rose’ by The Damned or ‘Another girl Another planet’ by The Only Ones as THE track to kickstart the holiday. It was going to be ‘Do you like rock music?’ by British Sea Power, the most jaw-droppingly brilliant album of recent years, but I have decided to go for ‘Live in Belfast 2001’ by Belle and Sebastian (the bonus CD that came with their 2008 BBC session CD) - it is a rare album that can give me the shivers and have me singing (ok, shouting) along at the same time.

Actually, I was wrong. I don’t feel like a kid the night before Christmas, it is EVEN more exciting than that. I feel like Charlie entering the chocolate factory, or like Dr Frank N Furter about to unveil Rocky, or even like the German football team lining up to face England.

I will let you know soon what I think of the new car.