Thursday 24 December 2009

The C-word

It is an unfortunate sign of the times that we increasingly hearing this most repugnant of words. Not just on the streets, but on radio and, especially, television. Most words lose their impact with repetition, but not this one. Admit it, you would feel terrible if someone walked up to you and called you a C*well.
Yet, in some strange way, you have to admire the man. Not for his haircut, his leer, his narcism, the way he tucks his jumpers in his trousers, his HUGE self-importance or even for his total absence of humanity. No, you have to admire Simon for his success.
Not so long ago, you would have had to drag me, kicking, screaming, biting and punching, to watch The X Factor. I can't remember how it started (probably reading, or doing paperwork, while the auditions were on), but, like tens of millions of others, I developed a mild interest in the progression of various contestants. But, that's where it ends for me. In fact, I wish I had not wasted hours watching anything after the initial auditions, because it just becomes an endless succession of adverts with a bit of over-produced karaoke inbetween. And, yes, you can't deny that Joe has a good voice, but that doesn't give him (or C*well) the right to a No.1 single.
So I was in total support of the Rage against the Machine plot to blow up the Houses of X Factor. I have a very diverse taste in music, but have yet to buy (or download) a RATM track. And, even though I could take or leave their single,  Killing in the name, I fully supported the cause to get it to No.1. Over the last week, in the run-up to last Sunday's unveiling of the Christmas chart, the media were saturated with the story. On several occasions a radio or television show would play the last four Christmas No.1s (all by X Factor winners); how soul-less and forgetable they all were. I honestly have no idea how Shayne Ward's That's my goal, Leona Lewis's A moment like this, or Leon Jackson's When you believe sound. I only know Alexandra Burke's  Hallelujah because I knew Leonard Cohen and Jeff Buckley's versions. C'mon, what we want is Phil Spector's Christmas songs, a bit of Slade or even (I can't believe I am saying this) Mariah Carey. The only two acts in the last THIRTY years to have had Christmas songs at No.1 are Cliff Richard and Band Aid (in its different incarnations).
Of course, you could argue that the Facebook campaign to get RATM to No.1 was no more in the spirit of the season than an X Factor campaign. Some radio stations thought so. I was listening to MFR (Moray Firth Radio) the other day, hoping to hear the local weather/road report. The DJ was saying that they had received many requests for them to play Killing in the name, but 'they would not be playing it because they did not think it was what their listeners wanted to hear'. No, I couldn't work that one out either. I switched back to Radio 1 (which, Chris Moyles aside, seems to have improved significantly over the last year).
I would love to believe that this is the start of the revolution. Wouldn't it be great if we were able to look back and see that this was the time when we began to eschew pre-packaged, saccharin-sweet muzak in favour of real music with more heart and soul. Unfortunately, with the likes of Journey finding success (as a result of Joe covering Don't stop believing), and The X Factor promising to return, bigger and 'better' next year, it seems as though it could be a five-minute revolution. Where are the likes of The Clash and The Sex Pistols when we need them most?
Apparently, Mr Cowell called Jon Morter (who started the RATM campaign) to congratulate him on winning the battle. I suspect that SC had already congratulated himself on the fact that this much-hyped 'battle' had given him (oh, and Joe, of course) even more publicity than he could have hoped for, and thus more sales. He's a clever C*well.

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