Tuesday 28 July 2009

Do you remember the first time?

.... or the 2nd? 3rd? 9th?!! I barely remember my driving test. I remember being told that EVERYONE in our family, right back to before cars were even invented, had passed 1st time; so no pressure at all, then. I also remember the lesson before being absolute rubbish - I couldn't do a thing. There is no doubt, the driving test was SO much easier then than it is now. We didn't have to pass a Theory Test beforehand, we just had to answer a few questions on the Highway Code at the end of the drive. I took my test in Leighton Buzzard - surely it would be easier than Luton. I remember having to do a Turn in the road (we called it a 3 point turn then), a Left Reverse and an Emergency Stop. I remember stalling THREE times! I was a wreck. I was fed up at having failed and blighted the family tradition. At the end of the test the examiner asked me a few questions about road signs etc. What was the point? Just hurry up and tell me I've failed. "How often should you check your mirrors?" "What? Um... every ten seconds?" He just sat there and looked at his watch for ten seconds... it seemed to take forever. "Um... maybe every five seconds then?" He looked at his watch for five seconds. Even that seemed to last a long time. What was the point of this?! "Quite often then" was my pitiful final answer. He looked at me, got out his pen to fill in the form and said "Mr Rutter, I'm pleased to tell you you've passed". I sat there, utterly pissed off, for quite a few seconds before it sank in what he actually said. "I'VE PASSED!!!!" There can't be many more extreme moodswings.

If you read my earlier post, you may be pleased to hear that Piotr passed his test. He has been a qualified driver in Poland for a few years, but needed a UK licence. After some polishing (no pun intended), he took his first test a couple of months ago. For some unknown reason, on that test, he decided to drive with excessive caution - doing 35mph on 60mph roads - and failed. After that I told him to drive 'normally' (how he had been driving), to make progress and get the car up to appropriate speeds. I became a little concerned yesterday when, in the hour lesson before his test, he was going just a little too fast. His English isn't great (although better than my Polish), so I had to make sure he understood what I meant. I told him to pretend that the examiner was holding a cup of hot coffee, which musn't spill, but he should try to get round before the coffee got too cold. He passed with only 4 minors (one of which was for the 'show me/tell me' questions). His smile could not have been bigger. Lots of vigorous handshaking and then he was insistent I came back into Elgin tonight so that he could buy me some beers. It was, as they say, the thought that counted. Tempting though it was, a few beers would not have been the most sensible thing to do when my livelihood depends upon my licence (I cannot say/write 'livelihood' without thinking of Tommy Cooper).
It's not nice for me when a pupil fails. But, for those first few minutes after they have been told they have passed, this is the best job in the world.

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