C'mon!

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye. Almost three years to the day since I picked up my first BSM Vauxhall Corsa (photo above), I am saying goodbye to my sixth, and last (photo below), one in a couple of hours time.

Apart from the first one - a 1.2 petrol, which was completely gutless - I have enjoyed them all. I think they are attractive, solid, little cars, which all my pupils seem to have enjoyed driving. Sometimes the firm spring on the gearstick provided a few problems for new learners, and the brakes are certainly responsive (which caused some exciting moments), but, apart from that, it has been a good car to teach in. There is one other major issue, which has been responsible for a disproportionate amount of problems: The indicators. In their wisdom, Vauxhall decided, a few years ago, to re-invent the indicator. They somehow thought it would be a good idea if a light click caused the indicators to flash 3 times, then cancel, and a firm click to keep the indicators on, until cancelled automatically or manually. Initially, this is not such a bad idea, but what causes the problems is that the indicators do not stay up/down, they return to the original position. The first problem is that some pupils only give them a ‘light’ click, despite repeated instructions to be positive with them, thus leading to the indicators to cancel after three flashes. Ok, this is a bit trivial and hasn’t caused any serious problems, but it is still annoying. The biggest problem is when the indicators do not cancel automatically and the pupil tries to cancel them by clicking the other direction (which works fine on ‘normal’ indicators). In a Vauxhall, however, it will then signal the opposite direction. This could be very confusing, and potentially dangerous. I can’t imagine I have had any pupils who, at some time, have not had this problem, even experienced drivers. It has even been directly responsible for one or two test failures. To be fair, I should say that it is possible to disable to 3-flash function (which I have certainly done for some pupils). Nevertheless, that still left the bigger, cancelling problem.
As much as I enjoy driving the Corsa, I always like getting into our Nissan, with its PROPER indicators.

The fuel economy has impressed me. The petrol was ok at approximately 44 mpg, but the diesels regularly returned 55 - 60 mpg. After 23,000 miles, my latest Corsa had an average mpg of 60.9, although it has dipped slightly to 60.5 since then. I still do not yet know whether I have been allocated a diesel Fiat, as requested, or petrol. Officially, the diesel Fiat has even better economy than the Corsa, but many BSM instructors are disputing this.

It is testament to the Corsa (and Astra) that, across the country, there have been many instructors who have left BSM, purely so that they could keep teaching in a Vauxhall.

I am looking forward to the Fiat, but, for anyone looking for a good, small car, I can definitely recommend the Corsa…. Just avoid the 1.2 petrol and have a little patience with those ****ing indicators.

Boom and bust (and mini-boom)

This is such an unpredictable job. The rate at which I gain new pupils should be roughly proportional to the rate at which people reach the age 17. In other words, it should be fairly consistent. The traditional exception to this is the Christmas period when holidays, hangovers and simple lack of money usually brings a drop in lessons. So I was very happy when, in the weeks before Christmas, I suddenly gained a lot of new pupils.
Then, just when I was looking forward to a prosperous New Year, the work just stopped.
I was hit by a 'perfect storm' of factors: The snow was the biggest factor; Christmas was another; five of my pupils went on the same skiing trip, causing me to lose almost twenty hours there; some of the 'new' pupils I gained before Christmas were people who had already learned to drive, but just wanted a couple of lessons before their test; three pupils moved away, and some pupils just 'disappeared'.
I have (or had) three pupils who spent quite a bit of money on hours of lessons. One can't be bothered to take his theory test (after one failed attempt) and doesn't want any more lessons until has passed his theory (which, despite prompting and encouragement, is unlikely). Another has passed his theory, and was very keen to take his test as soon as possible, but was reluctant to take any lessons in the snow and has not been heard of since. The third one has had several attempts at learning to drive but, this time, she bought herself a car as an incentive to see it through. She bought a block of ten hours and was quite concerned that BSM might give her a different instructor after her Christmas break (in case you are wondering - no, they wouldn't). Sadly, despite leaving several messages, we have not heard anything from her in six weeks. Meanwhile, her new car presumably sits under a pile of snow and starts to rust.
You can't help but wonder if I am suddenly doing something which upsets or offends my pupils. I haven't changed my aftershave, I haven't stopped brushing my teeth, I haven't started picking my nose and wiping it on the steering wheel, I haven't ever subjected my pupils to my rendition of Running Bear and I haven't changed the way I teach. So it remains a bit of a mystery.
All this means that the last few weeks have been so bad that I have barely earned enough to pay for my franchise and fuel. The recession wasn't just biting, it was chomping ferociously.
Then, just like early December, the last few days have seen a flood of new pupils. Arran was the first, in Inverness last Wednesday. Ashleigh was next, in Forres yesterday. Then Dawn and Becky were both promising new pupils in Ullapool today. Monday sees no less than three new pupils, Carl, Kevin and Karla, all in Inverness. Finally, Helen in Kinloss, next Wednesday, completes the octet of new pupils in eight days.
The BSM franchise could never be described as 'cheap'. In fact, as far as I know, it is the most expensive driving school franchise. Many of the new pupils I picked up towards the end of last year came from my own efforts; either via personal recommendations, or via my website or listings on Google and Yell. It made me consider whether I should continue paying the BSM franchise. This week, however, it was an absolute bargain, so I would like to thank Eddie and Mairi, in the BSM Inverness office, for their support.
So, after some tough times, my pupil levels, my bank balance and even Liverpool FC seem to be on the up. Not only that, but, finally, we have news of the Fiat 500. I collect mine on Wednesday morning.
I'm not going to proclaim anything so rash as 'the end of the bad times' (as some political commentators claimed this week), and, who knows, some of these new pupils might also disappear. But, for the first time this year, I am really looking forward to next week.

Some people never learn

Finally. Finally........ The last patch of snow in our garden finally melted on Wednesday. Then it snowed again on Thursday. Now, you would think, that with three or four weeks to practice, people would have become competent at driving in the snow. Alas not. My Friday schedule was disrupted by a 3-car crash on the A96 near Alves, which caused the road to be closed for most of the day. Later on, I saw another car, upside-down on the A96 west of Nairn. And then, this morning, two other cars had left the road between Inverness and Ullapool. In each case it was on a 60 mph road, on a straight, or close to a slight bend. So, nothing too challenging..... unless you like to try overtaking on a slippery road, or you forget that a car will simply go in a straight line unless it can grip the road. And this is exactly why, with the exception of new learners, I have been trying to encourage my pupils to continue their lessons in the snow and ice. Ok, so we may not be able to do much practice on parallel parking, or reversing around a corner, but my pupils will learn exactly what happens when they brake too hard on a slippery road. They learn how to get the car moving off when 'experienced' drivers are pointlessly spinning their wheels and revving their engines. They learn what precautions they can take before they even set off on their journey and they learn how to handle the car if there is a loss of control. In essence, they learn how to keep safe on the road. But you don't have to be a learner driver to take lessons. Roger Federer still takes tennis lessons. Just because you have passed your test does not mean that there is nothing you can learn about driving. If you feel uncomfortable driving in extreme conditions swallow your pride and book a lesson with an instructor (ideally one who is qualified to teach Pass Plus). Or, you could learn the hard way.
http://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/Article.aspx/1584386/?UserKey=

Wheel of misfortune

Do you ever feel that some people could fall in a vat of vulture vomit and still come out smelling more fragrant than lemons and freshly-cut grass (or even freshly-cut lemongrass). Of course, there certainly some people for whom the converse applies.
I was at Inverness Test Centre this morning, chatting with another instructor while our pupils were out on test. The other instructor suggested that, ultimately, luck plays a large part in whether or not they pass their test. I disagree. Surely it is our job to train them to deal with different situations/junctions/manoeuvres so that luck wouldn't come into it. As long as the Mirror-Signal-Position-Speed-Gear-Look procedure is applied to changes of speed and direction, you drive at the appropriate speed, correct judgement is applied when meeting/crossing/emerging/overtaking, and manoeuvres are executed with control, accuracy and effective observation, you will pass your test. I'm not being anal about it, I know he was just creating conversation.
I suppose, when I think about it, luck could come into play, but only when the pupil is not good enough. For example, a pupil might get a fairly clear run, with few hazards, or he/she might struggle with a particular maneouvre, but not get it in the test.
A couple of years ago I had a pupil who was progressing well but was keen to take his test before he went on a four-month trip to India. With the rate he was progressing I couldn't see a problem, so I agreed to let him book his test. With two weeks to go, I was concerned that the pupil was not going to be ready, so I suggested he booked extra lessons. Even with these extra lessons, it was not going well but, by this time, it was too late to move his test. We crammed in more lessons but, in the hour lesson before his test he was, if anything, going backwards - he couldn't do any of the four manoeuvres correctly and his general driving was just messy. As far as he was concerned, it would be a learning experience and he would have to re-take his test when he returned from India, but I was concerned that the examiners would not appreciate me presenting this pupil for his test. Maybe he was one of those people I alluded to in the first sentence but, somehow, he passed (albeit with 9 minor faults).
He was probably the worst pupil I have had pass their test, but, perhaps on the day, he got lucky. Meanwhile, I have certainly had plenty of pupils, who I would let drive my grandchildren, but who failed their test.
Mark has just joined that list. If you read my last post, you will know that Mark was the pupil who, after my check test on Wednesday, the Senior Examiner said drove better than most qualified drivers and who was 'above test standard'. In his test this morning, he came up to Shore Street roundabout (a 3-lane, 5-exit roundabout) and the examiner asked him to take the 2nd exit. There are only two lanes on approach and he approached in the (correct) left lane. Unfortunately, he elected to take the central (2nd) lane on the roundabout. Usually, this roundabout is busy, which gives you time to see that the left lane is the correct choice, but, as Mark came up to it, it was quiet, which meant he didn't have to stop and, consequently, got into the wrong lane. I'm not making excuses. Mark knows he was wrong, and he knows the problems his decision may have caused.
Mark is, understandably, disappointed but, as Bret Harte once said, “The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.”

Checking up on me

You may remember me talking about the dreaded Part 3 exam a few months back. As the name suggests, this is the 3rd (and final) step in the process of becoming a DSA Approved Driving Instructor and the reward is the coveted Green Badge (as opposed to the Pink licence which Provisional driving Instructors have). The Part 1 is an extended Theory Test, the Part 2 is an extended Driving Test (at a high standard) and the Part 3 is a challenging 1 hour test of the instructor's ability to teach - The examiner plays the role of a new, or partly-trained pupil for he first half hour, then a completely different partly-trained, or qualified, driver for the second half hour. Of all the people that set off on the road to become a driving instructor, not even half of them get through the first two parts: The pass rate was 52% for Pt 1, 42% for Pt 2, but only 24% for Pt 3. Anyway, what I am saying, in a very long-winded way is 'it's tough'. So it was a fantastic feeling and a huge relief when I passed my Part 3 last year. After the examiner had told me my result I got out of the car, the clouds disappeared, birds started singing, flowers bloomed and angels played their harps. Then I met Susan.
Susan is another BSM instructor. She had a pupil out on test and, being a warm, sunny day, she was waiting outside. I walked over to give her my good news...
"Congratulations. It's a nice feeling, isn't it?" She replied. "Mind you... the Check Test is worse."

Every so often, the DSA likes to make sure we haven't turned into rubbish instructors by giving us a Check Test. Like the Part 3, you are only given 3 'lives'. So, if you mess up your check test, they ask to see you again in another few months, and if you mess that up, you only get one more chance before they remove you from the register of Approved Driving Instructors.
As I said, in the part 3 the examiner 'pretends' to be a pupil, and much of the difficulty stems from trying to think of the examiner as someone who can't drive, while, subconsciously, you know he/she can. In the check test most instructors teach one of their own pupils, while the examiner sits in the back and observes. An alternative option is to have the examiner do role play again. With some Fiat 500s not having rear head-restraints, there have been reports of some examiners refusing to sit in the back, thus forcing the instructor to take the role play option - but with me STILL having my Corsa, I had the luxury of choosing my option.
Virtually everyone advised me to use one of my own pupils, ideally choosing one that was not too good so that I could demonstrate an improvement in their driving over the hour lesson. I had chosen Inverness as the centre where I wanted to take my check test, mainly because it has much more variety of roads and situations than Elgin, Grantown or Ullapool. However, I only have a couple of Inverness pupils who at the part-trained stage - the others are all ready to take their test - but, unfortunately, neither of them could be available at the time of my test. Oh well, it's not a problem, I thought, I will just ask the examiner to do role play.
A couple of days before my test I popped into Inverness Test Centre to ask whether I would choose the route, or whether the examiner would choose it (as he/she does in the Part 3). The Chief Examiner asked me for a chat and we discussed the check test. Although I explained why I was electing to use the role play option, he was trying to steer me towards taking a 'real' pupil, even if it meant borrowing one from another instructor.
When Jane is driving her school minibus, one of her favourite passengers is Mark, who recently turned 17 and began driving lesson with me. His father is a gamekeeper, so he has grown up driving Land Rovers around the estate. Consequently, after only 12 hours with me, he is taking his test this Saturday. Despite my reservations that, because of his ability, he will not demonstrate much improvement over the hour, in other ways, he is an ideal choice for the check test because he responds to instruction and thinks about his answers when I question him. And we have a laugh in our lessons. Mark has breezed through his lessons so far, but has had to wait to book his test because he kept failing the Hazard Perception part of the Theory Test. Because of this, I thought about theming the check test lesson on hazard awareness, antici                pation, and the use of mirrors.
Mark has a thing about punctuality, so I was a tad concerned when he wasn't at the agreed pick-up point at 1.30pm. Five minutes later he arrived, running and out of breath because he had to run an errand for someone, and we set off for Inverness. The Senior Examiner (SE) was very affable and, after the introductions, we began the lesson. Usually my lessons are quite relaxed, but I had sixty minutes to demonstrate my ability so I think poor Mark was a wee bit shocked at the intensity of the lesson. An instructor should vary the level of instruction according to the pupil's ability - a new learner will get step-by-step instruction for everything they do, a partly-trained learner is encouraged to think more for themselves by prompts and questions, and a 'test-ready' pupil (such as Mark) is almost left alone, with occasional prompts and questions when the need arises. But with limited time, I wanted rapid communication between Mark and I everytime a potential hazard appeared.
I took him around the Crown area of Inverness - lots of parked cars, traffic lights, pedestrian crossings, narrow roads, very closed junctions and, by 3 o'clock, children leaving school. He drove very well.... too well. Any small faults we discussed and corrected on the move, but he barely gave me any cause to pull him over and discuss potentially serious faults. He responded really well to the prompts and questions and, although slightly phased by the increased demand on him, made me very proud.
Back at the Test Centre, Mark sat in the waiting room while the SE discussed the test with me.
"I'm not sure about your planning. By that I mean that I think you should have chosen a different pupil, one with less ability. Then they may have shown more improvement over the lesson." He suggested. (Exactly the concerns I had when deciding whether to take a pupil or do role play).
I explained the choice I had, then he suggested that, in that case, perhaps I should have pushed Mark a bit more by taking him out on fast rural roads. I replied that, if anything, Mark was even more comfortable in those situations and, because I had identified mirrors as his main weakness, I thought the lesson would be of most benefit to him. The SE agreed and said, now that he knew that, I had been correct in my planning.
Unfortunately, he had already marked his test sheet and he explained that, because Mark had been unable to demonstrate much learning, he could not grade me higher than a 4. We chatted some more, I thanked him for his advice (it had been useful) and that was that.
Mixed feelings after. Lots of people, including the Chief Examiner, said that the first check test was really what they call 'an educational' (and it certainly was) and would often be graded as an E (for 'Educational', in case you are not keeping up). However, if it was good enough, I could be graded (a 4, 5 or 6). An E would mean that I would get another check test in a few months time and, as I said earlier on in this post, three successive sub-4 grades would result in removal from the register. So, in many ways, I am pleased with my '4' because, as the SE said, 'they will not be bothering me now for a couple of years'. But..... there is a tiny tinge of disappointment because I thought the lesson went very well (not perfect, but good) and, if I had been able to choose a different standard of pupil, I am sure I could have achieved a higher grade.

Ultimately, I should just heed the SE's advice about check tests. He doesn't believe the grading system is a good one because it is only based on what they see in that one hour. In fact, he was generous enough to say that it was actually refreshing to sit on a check test where the pupil is "above test standard" (Mark was very pleased when I passed on that comment to him). And, although a '6' or a '5' would have been nice, it doesn't bring any greater reward. As it stands, the DSA are happy with my instruction, I am happy with my instruction and, most importantly, my pupils are happy with my instruction, and surely that is the most important thing. And, as for Check Tests, I don't know what you were talking about, Susan. Bring on the next one!

More green shoots (except at Anfield)

Very strange. I'm watching the BBC news and the correspondent, reporting live from Port-au-Prince airport, is being completely drowned out by the noise of jet engines. What is the point of that? Surely the producers would think it might be better to switch to Kate Silverton, back in the London studio. Ah, the man in Haiti has obviously had a word with the pilots and asked them to turn the volume down on their engines. I can hear what he is saying now.
I'm not sure that that was well-advised: President Obama is with former Presidents Bush and Clinton: Hearing President Bush say '....just send money' (as opposed to blankets or food) is no more convincing than Ronnie Biggs saying the same thing. All the same, it is a terrible tragedy - and another reminder of how we will always be at the mercy of geological processes - and the best ways to help are at http://www.dec.org.uk/donate_now/.
They are saying that the disaster earlier in the week is one of the worst in living memory. That is quite a statement to make, but I am struggling to remember one worse. When it was 1-0, with ninety minutes up, I was convinced that Liverpool were going throught to the 4th round. So to end up losing 1-2 to Reading was certainly a disaster of seismic proportions. My 'friend', Iain, sent me a text informing me that the President of Haiti wished to thank the Liverpool supporters for their 2 hour silence on Wednesday night. To make matters worse, today we suffered further aftershocks by again letting another 1-0 lead slip in the last moments of the game (at Sunderland). Then, on Match of the Day, Chelsea rub salt into the wounds by showing how it should be done - even their defenders (Ashley Cole) have better control and finishing than Liverpool's forwards at the moment.

If you have read previous posts, you may have clicked that a Saturday night post, comprised of my ponderings on television, can only mean one thing.... I am back in a B&B in Ullapool. Quite a contrast to recent visits though. It's a lovely B&B (Creagan House in Pultenay Street), but the last few times I have stayed here it has been a little more chilly than I would have liked. Tonight, though, I am wondering if there are any punka wallahs available because the bedroom temperature is 27C - I might even open a window. In fact, as the weathermen predicted, the temperature here reached 10C this afternoon, enough to melt (almost) all the snow. It is such a relief to get back to proper lesson structure, and being able to teach manoeuvres where the pupil can actually see the curb. Hopefully, this bodes well for a handful of tests that I have got coming up in the next few weeks.
I am hoping that the improved weather will encourage some potential leaner-drivers to take the plunge and begin lessons. I was sat in my car this morning, inbetween lessons, when a lady tapped on the window. She explained that her daughter had failed a couple of tests but is keen to take more lessons and pass her test. I gave her my card and encouraged her to get her daughter to contact me. Later on, in the afternoon, I was writing up some lesson notes in my car when there was another tap on the window. A mother and daughter, on seeing my car, decided to ask me about the daughter taking driving lessons after she turns 17 next week. After a short conversation, I had a new pupil and Becky has the exciting prospect of learning to drive. This is all good news of course. It wasn't that long ago that I was wondering how I would fit all my pupils in, but the combination of the weather and the festive season has devastated my diary, with many pupils not having lessons for almost a month. I am hoping that a thaw will bring an increase in lessons, but, if my pupils pass their tests, I will be short of pupils again.
So, today's developments were very welcome although, looking back, it may have looked slightly dodgy, having women approaching my car and tapping on the window each time I pulled up to the curb.

The green shoots of recovery.

The last three mornings I have woken up, having dreamt that the snow has finally melted, only to have my hopes dashed when I raised the blinds. (Did you know that 'dreamt' is the only word in the English language - apart from 'daydreamt' maybe - that ends in 'amt'?)

Having said that, a steady drip... drip... drip... does mean that it is starting to melt. Too early to get our hopes up just yet, there are still forecasts for more snow to come. Let's hope that we don't get close to breaking the record set in the winter of 1962/1963 - it snowed every day between Boxing Day 1962 and 6th March 1963 (somewhere in the UK)... 71 consecutive days! (so far, I think we are up to about 29 days).

I used to host weekly quizzes in the pubs I used to run, and I still have a penchant for trivia. So here is some random 'snow' trivia I have picked up:

1. Don't eat yellow snow. This advice was officially given to South Koreans in 2005 when dust from Chinese deserts, containing heavy minerals and pollutants, turned the snow yellow.
2. Snow can also be green, orange or red as a result of algae.
3. Everyone knows that snowflakes have 6 sides, but, apparently, they can have 3 or 12 sides too, and a 1966 snowflake classification included 80 different types of snow. I can feel your fascination from here.
4. The idea that the Inuit have over 100 different words for snow is a myth - they have 2 ("qani" means falling snow and "api" means snow lying on the ground). But, the Inuit language is agglutinative (meaning they join different words together to form one long word), so, in theory, there could be thousands of different Inuit words for snow.
5. Driving too close to the vehicle in front (especially during snowy/icy conditions) WILL increase your chances of crashing. Oops, I have already covered this one.
I have more snow trivia, but I don't want you getting too excited.

Talking of getting excited, the Met Office website predicts temperatures of 5C in Forres tomorrow, and I may even find Ullapool swelters at 9C over the weekend. So, as Business minister Baroness Vadera (in)famously said, it may be that we can finally 'see a few green shoots' of recovery.

Unfortunately, as I have just seen on my way to Katie's lesson in Hopeman, the disappearing snow brings further problems: Potholes and the return of idiotic overtaking. Actually, what am I saying? The idiotic overtaking never went away, it was just done at a (slightly) slower speed.