Good golly Miss Molly!

I have to say, my pupils are very polite; I currently have three different pupils who call me 'Sir'(!). And they are all so restrained. I struggle to think of any pupil that swears. Actually, there is one. On the face of it, she is very polite and restrained but, if anyone steps out in front of her, or doesn't give way when they should, she lets fly with language which would make Chubby Brown blush. But she is very much the exception.
Funnily enough, the boys don't swear at all. If they do something wrong (or if another road user does something wrong), they tend to quietly grumble, at worst. Mostly they just don't react, emotionally.
The girls do tend to be more vocal with their thoughts about other drivers/cyclists/pedestrians, or their own mistakes. But very rarely is it anything stronger than 'Crap!' or 'Bugger!'
I have one pupil whose language really tickles me. She is only 17 but she uses such old-fashioned language. She will say 'Crikey!', 'Blimey!' 'Gosh!' and, best of all, 'Oh my giddy aunt!'; language that even my grandparents would have found old-fashioned. But, strangely, it sounds very natural when she says these things, it doesn't sound even slightly false. Sadly (from a very selfish point of view), she passed her test last week, so I am now denied the pleasure of her language. But, very well done Jodie. I have rarely seen anyone as shocked at passing their test (and at the first attempt) as you, but I will miss your exclamations. Congratulations also, to Conner and Robbie, who passed their tests on the same day. It was an almost identical day to the previous day: 5 tests, 3 passes and 8 driver errors between them.

When thing go wrong, either a mistake my pupil has made, or another road user has made, we talk about the consequences of such an error and, if it is our fault, we discuss how to remedy it so that it doesn't happen again. I like other drivers doing stupid things because it gives us a chance to analyse these real situations, rather than just in theory. But, after 7 years of instructing, I finally lost my temper the other day...

Take a close look at the road in this photo. It is Castle Terrace in Ullapool. If you look carefully you will see that is only wide enough for one car - the parked cars are actually parked on the pavement. I was with a relatively new pupil, doing some basic junction work. Castle Terrace is only 200 -250m long and has a bend in it that, because of the  narrow width of the road, should be approached at no more than jogging speed. She negotiated the bend nicely then a black Ford Focus, with German plates, appeared close behind us. She started bring her speed up, but no point in accelerating too much with the end of the road only 100m away. The German tourist behind us couldn't wait a matter of 15 - 20 seconds and, to my horror and incredulity, I saw that he was trying to overtake us by going on to the pavement. Ok, it is a dipped curb, and there were no pedestrians, but it is probably the most utterly stupid piece of driving I have ever seen (and that is saying something!). I immediately took the wheel, because there must have been mere centimetres between us, and braked to a stop - I didn't want him cutting too sharply back in front of us. My temper finally snapped and I gave a long, long blast on the horn.
I apologised to my pupil. I explained that I should not have used the horn like that but I just wanted the other driver to know that he was a complete...... That he was in the wrong. My knowledge of German is rubbish. I can say "That is my stick of chalk", or "That is an umbrella" in German, but I don't know how to say "Excuse me, my good man, do you know what 'adequate clearance' means?"
I wonder what Jodie would have said? I don't think "Crikey!" would have sufficed.