Apologies again for the paucity of posts recently. Last week I had written perhaps the finest post yet. It had more mystery than Broadchurch (and was just as long). It had more wit than an entire series of Frasier (even the early ones) and had more twists than a very twisty thing. Then, zut alors! I switched my tablet thingy on, to finish my epic post, only to find the whole thing lost, evaporated, gone, vanished. Bugger. I was a little irritated, I have to say.
I've been trying hard not to let certain other things irritate me of late: I was listening to Radio 5 and a 23 year-old girl was saying how wrong people are to despise Margaret Thatcher, especially after all that she had done for her country. Everyone is entitled to their own views but I just sat there thinking "What do you know? You were barely more than a primitive pairing of sperm and ovum when she left office, so how can you possibly argue her legacy against people who lived (and suffered) through it?"
Don't worry, I'm not going to get all political. Which is hypocritical, because I think people should be more passionate about politics. At the time, as far as I was concerned, Thatcherism was a bad thing. But the thing that puzzles me is that, surely, the time for celebration and parties was when she was ousted from No.10? Twenty-three years later I don't understand celebrating the death of a frail old woman, whose only current relevance was to her family and friends. But the most irritating thing was all the effort to get Ding dong, the witch is dead to No.1, and all the subsequent fuss. I've nothing against that particular song, it's just that we, as a nation, missed out on a great opportunity to have a classic song on top of the charts. Instead of paying 89p to download 51 seconds of Ding dong... You could have spent your money far more wisely on 'The day that Thatcher dies', by Hefner. A genuine sing-a-long classic and it finishes with more than 51 seconds of Ding dong.... What do you mean, you've never heard of it?! If that is the case, trust me, go and find it on the MP3 provider of your choice. I can almost guarantee that, having heard it once, you will want to hear it again. Then you will wake up the next morning singing to yourself
"We will laugh
The day that Thatcher dies
Even though we know it's not right
We will dance and sing all night.....'
Ding dong indeed.
Luis Suarez..... Ah, Luis Luis. What on earth possessed you? There can be few footballers more feared by opponents for their attacking threat than Luis Suarez. So why play into your opponents hands by fouling, diving, handballing, and biting!? Does he have children? What will his children think when they see his actions?
Liverpool are my team. I have supported them for forty years. And, although there are few more thrilling sights in football than Luis Suarez, ball glued to his feet, treating defences apart, I am almost glad to hear of his ten match ban. Selfishly, I fear the prospect of him moving to another club. But I genuinely would rather see Liverpool lose their next ten games if it meant that Luis returned as a more honourable and honest footballer..... Just like Branislav Ivanovic, whose commendable conduct has gone largely unnoticed.
